Here is something interesting- every time I make a presention- someone in the audience asks my view on how to deal with bipolar disorder on a spiritual level. Some ask me if I agree with the term THE GIFT OF BIPOLAR and if I use meditation or a religion to deal with the illness.
I have a complicated answer. I think that a spiritual approach to bipolar disorder management works well when you’re not in a serious mood swing- I am sure many would agree with that. It can also help when a person is mildly to moderately depressed. But when it comes to serious depression- I feel that spiritual doubt is often the norm. It’s hard to believe when an illness is threatening your life. But…. I know of many people who literally survive bipolar disorder because of their deep spiritual beliefs.
It’s complicated isn’t it.
And it gets very, very complicated with mania and psychosis. Mania can lead to a feeling of spiritual awakening that is based off chemicals instead of a true transformation- many people feel an incredible letdown when the mania is gone and the euphoric, religious experiences leave as well.
Psychosis and spirituality is a completely different story and one I will address in a future blog.
I am interested to know how you see the role of spiritually and bipolar disorder management.
Julie
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I would say it is a dangerous distraction. It may be possible to use it to temper mild swings. However false hope is in the end false. Spirituality is not real, it not going to help you stay in touch with reality or keep you grounded as it spirituality it based in wooly thinking. Managing your condition with routine and structure. Using tried and tested methods you have discovered or other have. These are the things to rely on. I find it awful when people suggest this, we live in a time when nonsense is not required. We may not know everything but making up stories to fill the gaps never truly helps anyone.
I was not aware that I was bipolar when I gave my life to Christ and had my “spiritual awakening”. Prior to this I had not really been aware of my mania and thought that I was experiencing a change in my personality that was permanent. I grew up always being depressed and not having any social life or friends. Now I was on fire for Jesus and beginning to experience the joys of my new Christian social life.
I soon met Stephanie and we got married after a few years. The only problem is, I completely changed as a person the day after our wedding. I began to revert back to my anxious, depressed self that was afraid of life. And from then on I began to be good for a month or so, hopeful, then back to the bad side. My precious wife thought it was something she was doing wrong.
After recently being diagnosed with bipolar disorder (rapid cycling most likely), I am very angry at God for allowing me to have this disease. I know that it is partly my fault for rushing into sex and then marriage and disobeying him in that way, but it still doesn’t change the fact that I am afraid that I will not be able to give my wife the life she has always wanted. She is a free-spirited, care free, and fun loving individual whom I love with all my heart. I love her so much that I am willing to let her go in order for her to truly be happy in life. I am thankful to Jesus that my beliefs have remained the same ever since I encountered Him, even though it was during a manic episode, I know it was still genuine. I know in my heart that we have a home waiting for us in Heaven forever. I guess that makes all the difference for me. Just knowing that in the end everything is going to be better than ever.
I just want to go home so badly right now. I guess I never really understood why Christians thought it was strange for those who follow Jesus with their lives to have more faith in suicide than the person who has none, because we who believe in the truth, the life, and the resurrection know that in death nothing can separate us from the love of God, no matter what. We know that God loves us and that in the end we will be in an amazing place, the Holy City of Lights, the New Jerusalem. And then God will come down with all the saints and restore the whole earth for us to live and cherish forever. Why would anyone think it strange for me to have peace in wanting to die when I have so much pain at times in this life because of bipolar disorder? I have more faith in dying than anyone else, because I have the resurrection and the life, I have faith in Jesus Christ the Messiah as my Lord and Savior no matter what, no matter how low I am. I know he is the way no matter what!
I just want my wife to be happy in this life as well as the next. I sometimes doubt that I will ever have peace and happiness in this one, but I know it is awaiting me in the next. Please Lord show me the reason why I have been afflicted by this disease, and may it in some way be to better show and display your glory and grace which you give to all who would hear, listen, repent, and receive it.
Hello Jack,
I have also struggled greatly with the question of why I was born with this illness. It seems so unfair doesn’t it. When I am very ill and suicidal, I have the thoughts that things could be better if I were not on this earth. But I have learned through years and years of experience that this is the way suicidal depression ALWAYS talks to me. I have learned to live with suicidal feelings because I know 100% that it’s an illness. This is how I stay alive. I focus on what it’s like when I’m not sick so that I can remember that wanting to die is not a normal reaction to life.
As for the why me question, it is a hard one to answer. It can lead to a spiritual wasteland- or strengthen your beliefs as it has done for you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I hope that others will comment as well. There is no one answer for this dilemma, but I do know that it never hurts to keep finding a way to move into acceptance of this reality we all live with.
Julie
Reading about spirituality and bi-polar has always interested me. When I went into my first manic episode it felt very spiritual. I felt I could connect to people and ideas so well and I just felt so happy. This was after many years of struggling with depression and anxiety. People around me thought it was a bit sudden but they were happy to see me “come out of my shell”. Of course as all manias go it escalated and I became pretty sick and crashed. Ouch.
So it’s been a bit of a struggle to understand why this would be part of my spiritual path. It’s tough many times but I’m learning this is the human condition. It’s very tough on all of us many times whether we have Bipolar or whatever. A spiritual principle that runs throughout all traditions is love. It may sound corny but it’s true. Trying to turn to love rather than fear. This is something that holds true for me and remembering the truth that I am not my illness. Sure it’s really a lot of work at times but it’s not me. My true essence is love as it is everybody’s.
I am a Christian and I also have bipolar disorder. Thank you for all of the insights shared here. They give me a lot to think about in relation to my own spiritual walk. At times I have wondered how my illness plays affects my righteousness. In my heart I know that some decisions I have made were not in line with what I believe and it hurts me to know that I have made choices and behaved in a way that are sinful. However I do rest in the scripture that says nothing can separate me from God (as I understand God.) At times I wonder if the bipolar disorder will ever give me a break so I can live the life I believe I should be living. THis would be a life with my husband, drug and alcohol free, stable, calm and peaceful and prayerful. I too look forward to the peace promised in death. I think sometimes when I am having suicidal thoughts, that my spirituality is the one thing that keeps me from being activily suicidal. I am grateful for that.
Spirituality and bipolar disorder do not have to be mutually exclusive. You can have the disorder and still be quite spiritual in your beliefs. On the other hand, it would be detrimental to go “on faith” for healing of your disorder and not to take your prescribed medications. Medications and therapy are the usual treatment for bipolar disorder, and can help you to live a normal, healthy, successful, spiritual life.
You know, I have to agree with Julie for the most part on the spirituality issue. The spiritual connection is great when you are feeling hypomanic, yet it can become a little dangerous if you tend to make more out of it than it really is, or you head off on spiritual tangents that end up confusing your loved ones and jeopardizing relationships. Someone else mentioned in an earlier post that the crash into depression can be that much harder when you lose that sense of spirituality, and I agree. The further (or higher) you get, the harder you fall and the more apt you are to misattribute the current state. In my opinion, spirituality and bipolar disorder is just like anything else combined with bipolar: moderation and balance is key. Too much sex or not enough is detrimental for us, too much sleep or not enough, too much exercise or not enough…. you get the idea. For the ultra-religious Christians out there, I know it might sound almost blasphemous for me to suggest you “moderate” your relationship with Christ – and I don’t pretend to have an answer for that. For me personally, I have figured out how to love my life most of the time – even living with bipolar disorder. I get no comfort from the idea of death as I honestly don’t know what comes next. I like to focus on doing the greatest amount of good while I am here and enjoying my life for all its worth and experiences. Suicidal thoughts are kept at bay when I remember all of the great experiences I would have missed if I had given up the last time I felt suicidal.
I have been reading the blogs and it seems that some seem to being confuses with having a relationsip with Jesus Christ and going over the top into mania and having full blown phychoses (or unreality) . I realize it gets scary, even for myself. When mania kicks up my sense of spirtuality a few big notches! I also have experienced feeling like I was Jesus…couldn’t stop talking about “God,” and so on.
Although I have experienced this “exageration” this does not mean that Jesus Christ does not exist or that “we are all crazy.” What it has meant for myself (and I have also read this in so many documentations about mania)…is the part of the brain that is (very spiritual) is high in Bipolas but it is also in every human being that lives on this planet~ I apologize for not remembering the name of this part of the brain…but there is scientific proof!
Blaming God for having Bipolar is like blaming God for being in a wheelchair…for a broken relationship or forlosing someone in a car accident, ect…I have been therer~~~I it’s not a good place to be! But until I “accepted my lot in life” and learned to deal with my life, (with all I had been given..the good with the so called bad)…I remained “stuck.” Questions about why didn’t get me all the answers I was searching for…it just was and that was that. Then came many solutions in helping myself with a mind body and spitit approach.
Yes, I agree, it is a kicker of an illness…but God turns “All” things around for those who love Christ. The key here is HIS will… not mine…HE is in control…not me…In true spirituality, the ego must deflate. God must increase. I have learned that I must decrease. Whether I have been in an AA meeting or a Tent meeting or any other spiritual program that I have attended…I came to realize that my ego must come down…and when in mania…it is almost impossible to do that…I know for myself that the “I” in me becomes…I, Me Mine and I just don’t want to listen to anyoen, including God! The beautiful thing is…he always take me back. He loves me with an everlasting love…thougt sometimes I turn away…He never does. He has always remained faithful, to me.
This doesn’t mean that my relationship with Jesus isn’t real…what it means to me, is that….my thinking gets distorted ~ because my brain is becoming distorted…infact…all of my thoughts about everything is out of wack and disorted…
When I come out of a hypo manic or full manic episode…I can see this looking back but not when I am in it…although, if I get real honest with myself, I probably could…but mania feels so great…that of cours,e like the rest of us mania junkies…I don’t want to come down.
I am a praise and worship leader. I also sing for the elderly in any facility that is asked of me…I love Jesus and I life…love the Beatles…love the birds…love life to the fullest…(when I am well.)
Then, sometimes I hate everything but that doesn’t make me unique…the average person pretty much thinks like that. It is just a part oflife. Mine is only exagerated in times of mania and in most people’s low’s…my lows may be much lower…actually, that has made me become more compassionate, caring, loving and understanding of a person, because of this illness.
One last comment…I believe that all of the people I ever meant with this illness has the same qualities or (gifts.) They are beautifully sensitive, caring and loving humans beings…maybe this world can’t handle “our sensitive nature” and maybe we can’t handle the world’s hardness and lack of spirituality, which I choose to call “God”
I am just beginning to explore a few blogs/chats on the subject of spirituality and bipolar illness (my daughter suffers with it). I appreciate the things said above…That love is the answer, no matter what the question. That moderation in all things is the key, including our experience and expression of what we understand as “spiritual”. That when in either extreme of the spectrum (mania or depression) it is doubtful that we are touching base with a truly spiritual experience. And that acceptance of the disease (for oneself, and as a family member….me) is paramount to getting better and staying well. I just want to share something that brought comfort to me long ago. My older brother suffered terribly in the 50s and 60s. I believe he was diagnosed as schizophrenic and treated as such, when he really had bipolar disease. Little was known about it then. It was a double burden for him (wrong diagnosis, wrong treatment). Eventually, he took his life. The pain of his death and the mystery sounding it all was hard to bear. Meanwhile, I had become a Baha’i (I have mentioned this elsewhere on some of these blogs; it’s a new religion, since 1844, that respects all others) and found a lot of encouragement in the writings of the Faith about death and the life of the soul. One passage that especially helped is the following (written to an individual in 1948): “It is very hard to be subject to any illness, particularly a mental one. However, we must always remember these illnesses have nothing to do with our spirit or our inner relation to God…No doubt as the world becomes more spiritually minded and
scientists understand the true nature of man, more humane and permanent cures for mental diseases will be found. …You must always remember, no matter how much you or others may be afflicted with mental troubles and the crushing environment of these State Institutions, that your spirit is healthy….and will in the next world enjoy a happy and normal state of soul….But in this world such illness is truly a heavy burden to bear!”
It was a new thought for me, that the soul is not impaired by any kind of illness….not even a mental disease (which, in the case of bipolar disorder is known to be connected with the chemistry of the brain). I came to understand that it is not a spiritual disease…though the human spirit may (in this world) be racked with pain from it.
i think that spiritual life is much more important compared to our earthly life.-`,
spiritual life is really more important than our earthly life’~’
Diagnosed September 9,2010. Interesting experience at 53. Explains a few things since my earliest memories. I requested God to hear my prayers for 24 years and counting. He answered I just wasn’t listening. He showed me I just wasn’t watching. I prayed 9/01/10 feeling the usual anxiety nothing. Then on 9/02/10 after reading one must lose thier life in order to gain it. Instantly I felt a gentle spirit. This continued on Friday but I felt more.
On Saturday I was completely flooded with an amazing feeling of joy. Never in my life had such a thing happened. On Sunday morning the 5th, 4:00a I had 2 unresolved issues and told God as much. Instantly one tear from each eye fell on my cheeks. Two visions occurred (private) the only ones I have had. Then instead of feeling Love on the outside manifested in Joy, I felt Love on the inside manifested in purpose. Over the next 4 days I alienated every one I came in contact with. So much so they were concerned for my safety. During a 9 mile walk that ended at 8.3 miles, I was taken in the ER for an MRI and was told I was Bi-Polar. I did not deny it for a second. I knew I had a condition of sorts and much has been explained by it. 5 Days in a Hospital with a few people with the same condition was good for me. I have since gone to Church, been Baptized and Love the fellowship (all out of character for me). All has been out of character for me these 70 days. I too was convinced I was like Jesus Christ or the real McCoy. That was not the case at all. I was serving Christ by my own power and understanding, I made every mistake every new zealous Christian makes inside of a 9 days. So I cooled it, learned to listen to God. I made several outrageous prophecies which were accurate what I said, but interpretted incorrectly. So I shared my story after I calmed down and was told I tried to sow and reap the same day, too heck with watering and cultivating. That I was pouring the cup of the old man so God could fill it with his stuff. Told two people to do two different things that were outrageous, God only said that she will tell you what 7 sisters means (she has seven sisters, simple) and to the other to “put 7 things in a box” (turns out she was moving, simple), She is the one that invited me to Church and has since moved. To follow Jesus is to let him lead out in front. God will not allow me to know anything unless I stay in contact and fellowship. My wife was told I am in for a great let down and depression by a Pyschtherapist. That was on or after 9/14/2010 I had only 7 hours sleep from 7:30a the 9/4 to 9:00p the 9/12. I have refused the drugs (took 4), make me feel empty. Note: I have not gotten by without sleep for any length of time since, I usually sleep quite well and seldom is it a “disturbed” sleep. Under my own power I understand very little while it is happening. But on reflection after having shared an experience I have some or a very good understanding of a matter. My week leading up to a Pastor Sermon fits right into the sermon.
Let me just say I know trying times are ahead, but I have been having so much fun that I keep telling myself in advance that on the other side of that trying time something from God will be given to me, and my new found brothers and sisters.
Bi-Polar for me during this “Fun” time has been sudden hurts that don’t last long, are well deserved, and help to keep me humble. The boastings that lead to elation are self-serving and unacceptable.
We are Spiritual Beings that just happen to have a body (a stolen quote)