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    Well, I’m manic (or at least I was when I wrote this a few days ago!)

    and I’m not happy about it.

    I get euphoric mania.  Since I have bipolar II, I technically have hypomania.

    It feels so good. 95% of my bipolar disorder is depression. So mania is like a dream come true- but as with all dreams, you have to wake up.

     I am upset because I’m rapid cycling. When I get hypomanic, I think- what if I were like this all of the time? Work is easy- life is easy- I don’t want to overeat- everthing looks beautiful. Why am I tortured with this utopia only to have it taken from me in a few days.

    I spent many years in this confusion before I was diagnosed with bipolar disoder in 1995.

     I still have the questions, but I know the answer. I am tortured because I have bipolar disorder.

    It’s an illness. I now have to go into treatment mode. I’m hypomanic as I write this- the question is what am I going to do about it?

     the answer is below……

    Julie

    Related posts:   Well, I’m manic part 2 |  Bipolar disorder manic/mania/hospital! |  Summer Mania |





    5 comments to Well, I’m manic (or at least I was when I wrote this a few days ago!)

    • Diane Glasheen
      September 3, 2008 at 4:49 am · Reply to this comment

      Hi Julie,

      Thanks to you! Your blog really gets the message to me at just the right times! You are a wealth of information! I am grateful you are who you are and you can share what you are going through. You give me such hope that there is a way to live a good life even with depression and mania. : )

    • walter amos
      September 3, 2008 at 7:32 am · Reply to this comment

      Geez, I would trade a day depressed for a manic 24 hours anytime.

      Lithium is a simple cure for my manic states. They go on for months at a time. Now I can recognize when they are hitting and get to my doctor.

    • tracy
      September 3, 2008 at 6:57 pm · Reply to this comment

      thanks for sharing Julie, You help me so much in understanding bipolar. My husband is bipolar and we are both trying our best take control of this. My life so much easier when my husband is in a mania state as opposed to being depressed. It can be so hard sometimes because I enjoy his mania. that is when we can go out and have a good time we try new things and go places. I think ‘finally we can be a normal couple and go out and have fun’ I get so tired of him not wanting to anyplace or do anything. However I/we both know that mania has to be controlled because it can spin out of control rather quickly and of course then it is not “fun” anymore it is distructive and more problems arise.

    • Melissa
      September 10, 2008 at 5:35 pm · Reply to this comment

      Hey Julie!

      Thanks so much for your books and blogs and everything. I am hypomanic right now too because of a flub up in my medications. I’m spiralling up pretty hard and setting out my safety nets as best I can. Luckily I have a great therapist and some great friends. I reviewed a bunch of the blogs to do with mania and it helped to get that information and also see that I’m not the only one that does those things when hypomanic. Sometimes I feel very alone because I don’t reveal a lot at my work and and have a tendency to not reveal a lot at home. Sometimes it’s so hard to use the health cards because I feel good and don’t want to let go of that but my logical mind tries to tell me that it’s not real. Boy is that hard to hear. Well – gotta go but thanks again.

    • colodave
      September 13, 2008 at 7:59 am · Reply to this comment

      Thanks for you site and may God bless you. I am coming back after a two year bout and am glad I ran across your site.
      Dave

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