100% Lesbian, Except When Manic by Selina Glater
It seems that sexual orientation doesn’t change. You either know that you are heterosexual, or that you are gay, or that you might be both. In my opinion, I believe we are hard wired in our sexual orientation. I know that I’m a lesbian, but with one relatively simple wrinkle.
I’m also an individual with bipolar disorder.
Double whammy you say. You had better believe that it is! When I’m manic, I do many outlandish things such as talking too rapidly, spending more money than I have, and you guessed it, jumping into bed with men.
Normally, the idea of having sex with men is not exactly a turn on, but when manic all of my so called normal sexual tendencies as a lesbian fly out the window. This is often normal behavior for someone who is manic. So, if you consider yourself a heterosexual person, but you slept with someone of the same sex when you were manic, know that you’re just responding to the manic chatter in your head.
Mania can change how we perceive things. But, don’t get caught thinking that your sexual identity is dependent on your behavior during mania. It just isn’t so!
Selina
A note from Julie: Here’s a nicely detailed bio of the amazing Selina!
Selina and I are working together on her coaching practice. I will add more details once her practice is open for new clients. She works with the community she writes about in this funny, but realistic blog. Please leave any comments you have in the comments section below and I will make sure she receives them. She can also answer any questions you have. If you would like more information about her upcoming coaching practice, please let me know as well. Selina and I met when I was the keynote speaker for the Monterey County Mental Health Commission Fiesta of Hope Dinner in California. Lucky me!
*** BIO ***
Selina I. Glater is a mental health advocate, writer, speaker, and coach. She is also a lesbian who advocates for LGBT rights. Selina lives with bipolar disorder daily and understands the difficulties that people with mental illness face first hand.
She is also a registered music therapist and psychiatric rehabilitation therapist.
Selina was the first consumer to be hired as the Coordinator of Self Help and Advocacy for Santa Barbara County Mental Health Services. She also served as the Director of Consumer Advocacy and Outreach for Sanctuary Psychiatric Centers of Santa Barbara. In 1994, Selina was inducted into the California Governor’s Hall of Fame for People with Disabilities. She is a former governor’s appointee to the California State Mental Health Planning Council and currently serves as a Mental Health Commissioner on the Monterey County Mental Health Commission.
Selina is the annual Master of Ceremonies for the popular, and stigma busting Fiesta of Hope dinner that highlights individuals with mental illness and their contributions to the community. This event is sponsored by the Monterey County Mental Health Commission. Selina is currently working on a memoir of her experiences with bipolar disorder entitled, “The Bipolar Mistress.” She is also a gifted violinist and has won many awards for her performances. She has a B.A. Degree from Pepperdine University where she attended on a full music scholarship. Selina also has a M.A. Degree from the University of California, Santa Barbara where she won a university wide teaching award for excellence in education. She lives in Monterey, California with her beautiful Burmese cat, Miss Ruthie. Selina, and her partner Cheryl, have been together for 12 years.
I do the exact same thing and this whole time have been questioning my sexuality and wondering what/who I am. Thanks for your post! This is exactly what I do!
I wrote a comment that got lost in the CLOUD.I wrote it by thumbs which takes me too long. Will try later on My Apple.Thanks for all you do for those of us who have ups and downs. Lora
Hi Selina,
I’ve been following Julie’s blog for a while and read this post of yourse when it came out. Lovely to connect with you online today: I recognised your name and face but didn’t quite connect that to this post until I came back here to check you out! (Does that makes any sense at all??!! Lol!)
My best friend is bipolar, and whilst I don’t recognise the experiences you describe in what I know of my friend’s life, to me it’s another fascinating insight into how incredibly complex — and disorienting — bipolar disorder can be for those who live with it.
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I look forward to your next guest post!
~Marty
Thank you Molly & Lora for your wonderful replies! Lora, your post didn’t come through. Looking forward to continuing the conversation!
Thank you Marty for your friendship and support! Check out my next guest blog when it gets posted on Julie’s website. I would also really like to enter your book contest! Take good care…
Hi Selina 🙂 I will certainly be keeping my eyes open!
For you or anyone else interested in our book giveaway (open until end September 2014) all the details are on our blog: http://www.gumonmyshoe.com. Good luck!
~Marty
To Selina,I am glad my post was helpful (even if I don’t know what I said.) I like to help others like my self. MY 30 years of bipolar as well as an occupational therapist in psychiatric facilities for over 10 years gives me the ability to see both the patient and therapist point of view. I will try to respond if you like. Lora
Oh man.
I ruined a relationship this way! All of a sudden 8 years in I started sleeping with every single woman I could. I was so empowered and felt so invincible and attractive. Seducing people left and right including on more than one occasion, PILES OF WOMEN. Oof. I was diagnosed a year later, and a lot of things clicked into place, but I never thought about this one. I can’t believe it. No wonder my sexual habits have become more regular with medication. Ima straight woman who is pretty conservative about her love life. I definitely stepped outside of myself and didn’t even notice it was symptomatic. I’m glad there are other who do this! It makes so much sense now.