Here is a yes/ no quiz to check on your current stability. It’s pretty fascinating to see where you’re doing well and not doing so well. If you care about someone with the illness, answer from your own observations.
Answer yes or no:
1. I feel in control of my bipolar disorder symptoms.
2. I am sleeping regularly without sleep medications.
3. My relationships are stable and survived the holidays!
4. I have plans for New Year’s Eve and look foward to the new year.
5. My medications are working and I take them regularly.
6. I know my mania symptoms and check for them regularly.
7. My family and friends know how to help me when I get sick.
I will stop there- this could go on forever! If you answered all questions with a yes, please write and tell me your secret! 😉 If you have a few no’s, these are good places to work on bipolar disorder management. If you have a majority of no’s, this is a good time to start a management plan. I have tips for all of these areas in my books and on my website www.BipolarHappens.com
Here’s to a list filled with YES!
Julie
Am I the only one who sleeps incredibly well that has bipolar disorder? It seems like sleeping promlems is always a part of it. It has never really been an issue for me, accept the few times in my whole life two or three where I was so excited (racing thoughts), manic that I could’nt sleep. I guess I always ask myself this sometimes because I want it to be the one thing that will keep me from having bipolar disorder. I have a feeling it’s not enough to disqualify me though. Rats.
To be married to a man who is patient, patient, patient, patient!
I feel the same way about my family. I try not to burden them, but I do tell them when I need their help. Julie
Now that I’m on the right medications, I am able to answer yes to your questions. Only a few months ago, I couldn’t answer yes to each question. Before, I wasn’t on any medication that addressed my bipolar symptoms, so I suspect that the antidepressants I was taking actually made my bipolar symptoms worse. (I learned that from you and was able to talk about this with my new psychiatrist, who agreed!)
Besides the new medication (Depakote), regular sleep patterns and medication compliance are essential to help me stay on track. I’ve also learned to take life at a more even pace; I think before all of these changes, I used to try to get too much done in too little time. For example, this year for Christmas I didn’t make all of the different types of cookies I’ve made in years past and no one has objected!
It also helps me to make a daily to-do list and prioritize what needs to be done. I think the medication changes have also helped me to slow down racing thinking so I can begin a project well in advance of its due date.
I haven’t overstretched my budget. This year, I told my family that I just could not afford Christmas gifts; I plan to start graduate school in January and money is tight right now. They all understood. Being able to get my budget in control and eliminate debt has helped me to relax more.
I think that’s it for now.
Hi Julie,
In your questions above you reference having plans for New Years Eve and looking forward to the New Year. It seems that we B-P folks who do better with regular schedules and sleep patterns, would do better to not stay out late, especially past mid-night. I understand the new Years plan about going forward and I’m tentative about going out because of the price I’ll pay in the days after it recovering from sleep loss.
What are your thoughts and experiences with this?
Dan
Hi Dan, I am glad you asked this question. I wasn’t as clear as I could have been on the post. I was referring to the loneliness that can come with being alone on a night that society says should be all cheery, fun and filled with champagne and friends! It’s hard to break stereotypes. I know I have trouble with it. I believe that those in solid relationships as well as those who celebrate the New Year with the family as is very common in the Asian community, things are less pressured.
My goal is to have something to do that respects the pressures of the evening as well as the possibilities of having a great night to bring in the New Year. Here are some specifics.
I’m going out with two dear friends- my former radio show co-host Avi and my dear friend Jean who is in town from Liberia where she works for the UN. I thought they would be great conversational companions. Our start time is 6:30 for a walk and then some kind of dinner. We may meet other friends later. We are all money conscious, so we are not going to a $100 plate party, etc. Avi doesn’t drink- so is driving. I have been known to have a few drinks in the past year , but never to excess (unless I am manic and then it’s a real problem and challenge!), Jean likes gin and tonics, so we will drive her around! I have told both of them that there is a good chance I will go home before midnight. They understand my bipolar disorder completely, so there will be no complaints. I usually have to leave all places before 11 if I am going to get to sleep.
I do know there are dangers- if I meet up with other people and start to feel too good, it’s easy for my mild mania to kick in, this means a desire to drink. I will have the thought- such as- I can just have fun for once! That is very clearly noted on my Health Cards, so I know what it means if I start to get a bit too happy. If you have the Health Cards, this is a good time to create a partying card.
As you can see, I have a very carefully thought out plan. If I were not going out, I would be with friends having dinner and watching a DVD. I’m an extrovert- which is why the holidays are hard if I don’t have plans.
I’m interested to know what others are doing tomorrow – especially in terms of combating loneliness. And finally, if you are feeling manic already- tomorrow is a very, very dangerous day for those who are manic. Do you have a plan to take care of yourself? If you care about someone with bipolar and fear the excessive partying tomrrow- at least try to keep an eye on what the person is doing and make sure they are safe and not driving.
Julie
Thank you for addressing “is it real or part of the illness”. I would like to know if a person with Bipolar can fall in love? I’ve just met a guy 3 months ago and it feels as though we have fallen in love, but he doesn’t mention it. He likes to talk to me but seems afraid to “go there”.
Please advise.
Thank you,
Linda
Of course people with bipolar disorder can fall in love! But….. we also have an illness that can mimic love through mania and make us obsessed with love due to OCD symptoms- believe that someone loves us who doesn’t due to psychosis and then make us needy and clingy due to depression. The neediness and clinginess is very unappealing to others, especially if you have to constantly ask how they feel.
Here is what I have learned. We all have a communication style related to romantic relationships. It’s essential that communication styles be similar if a person with bipolar disorder wants to stay stable. In other words- I like a lot of contact with a partner. Lots of phone calls, texts, chats, movies, checking in, etc. But I am also extremely independent. This means I need to be with someone who understands my need for a lot of contact without the need to be with someone 24 hours a day. I am not clingy, but I get very worried and anxious when I am depressed- I get paranoid- all of the great stuff that comes with this illness. I work on this myself first and then look to others for support. I do not expect a partner to be the only support. I have made this mistake in the past! If you work with yourself first and then choose a partner who has a similar communication style, the relationship can work. I am not sure how you see your new relationship, but you can ask yourself if you are happy with how you act around this person. It sounds like it makes you feel good.
It may be that the person you have met has a different time line in terms of how they talk about love. Three months may be way too short for them. It could also be that they feel differently than you do. No one is afraid to go there if they want to go there. People who want you in their lives as a romantic partner will tell you within the first months for sure. If you are the kind of person who wants to know what the other person is feeling, then you have to be with a person who likes to share his feelings. I believe that having a conversation about communication styles is a great way to see where a relationship is going.
If you are really sure about what you want and deserve, this will let you know if this is the right guy for you! julie
Julie,
I have been depressed for a year and half, with short periods of mild mania in between. There has been many major changes in my life over the last 2 1/2 years, which I have had no control over. My depression and anxiety has been getting worse over the last 6 months. My doctor and counselor are great and really listen to what I have to say. My doctor has tried and/or increased a couple of antidepressants, mood-stabilizers, anti-anxiety meds to help me get stabilized. I was put on Seroquel, which is helping to a certain point but has also put 10 – 15 pounds on me. The extra weight gain has added to my depression. When I was on Depakote several years ago, it put 60 lbs on me. My doctor has listened to my concern about the weight increase, and has suggested Geodon or Tegretol. He suggested these because of the least amount or no weight gain. I did do some research on these 2 meds, and I thought it said they worked more on the mania side of the bipolar or am I wrong. I can’t find a lot of info on Geodon, and I don’t see much on your website or some of your other resources. Can you give me some info on Geodon and tegretol or tell me some place I can get some good info? I would like to compare these 2 meds and than to my other meds.
I also want to thank you for addressing the topic on relationships. It helped answer some questions, that I couldn’t put into words.
Thank you for all your help.
I’ve just placed an order for all your books, Julie! I’m going to dig in straightaway when I receive them. Thanks!