Julie A. Fast is the author of Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner. She runs a group for partners on Facebook called The Stable Bed. The post below is an example of posts on The Stable Bed.
Hello dear reader! I am still on my self imposed break for a few weeks from daily social media and writing. This is an essential part of my bipolar management plan.
I don’t like it!
I feel ridiculous to need breaks just because something normal is happening in my life such as an upcoming move.
My goal on The Stable Bed is to show you how a partner with bipolar manages the illness and what you can do to help you partner.
One of the biggest mistakes we make as partners is expecting a person to be better than they actually are….
We need time after a big episode and we often need time in order to prevent an episode.
This is inconvenient and at first, quite upsetting for the relationship.
But once this is accepted- and once this idea is incorporated into a relationship, you will find some relief. The more your partner learns to manage bipolar, the easier it becomes to take this kind of break.
Nothing about bipolar is fair. Nothing about bipolar is reasonable. It is an illness. It’s not personal and it’s not psychological. As you learned in the Triggers chapter of Loving and Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder, this illness lives in us and shows up when change is a part of life. SO…… considering that change is inevitable, those of us with bipolar must learn to manage change and manage the inevitable mood swings that come with big changes.
In 2020, we had covid. That was a big trigger for rapid cycling bipolar. My research showed that rapid cycling was more common than depression. I find that very interesting.
For some, not working was a huge relief and the bipolar got better. If this was the case for your partner, finding work/bipolar balance is essential. We don’t get to manipulate bipolar. We don’t mess with bipolar and then hope for a good outcome. It is an illness. We have to learn what bipolar does to our brains and make accommodations.
If you’re new to my work, welcome! Start with Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder for my basic management plan. There are many strategies for partners in the book. Then Loving Someone with Bipolar. This was the first book ever written for a partner and has sold over 400,000 copies. So, you are not alone in needing this book! Then, I suggest Getting It Done When You’re Depressed. It is an incredibly helpful book to memorize so that you can use the strategies when your partner has a down swing.
There are over two years of posts on this page. None of them are date specific. They will answer the majority of your questions. I would start from the bottom and read to the top! I suggest reading the comments section as well. I answer many partner questions that you might have yourself.
My break is due to a move from Oregon to Alabama here in the States. It is a good move, but disruptive to my bipolar. I had to process all of the change and get my bipolar in check. It is working so far, but it means I am not here as often. I do read all of your comments and it is my plan to be back to work in the next few days.
I know how to manage bipolar as well as anyone in the world. I am an expert… but bipolar could care less about my ‘expertise.’ It affects me the same as anyone. If I don’t respect my brain’s need for a break, I will get very sick. This is hard on me emotionally and very difficult financially, but it is what keeps me stable enough to do this work.
Welcome to our new members. I will have videos and workshops soon, but for now, I hope you will peruse this amazing page and find answers to your questions.
Julie
Here is an article from Bp Magazine that talks about healing time after a bipolar episode.
I highly recommend a subscription to Bp Magazine. It’s a wonderful resource.
Parent or caregiver? Please join me on The Stable Table on Facebook.
My work for those of us with bipolar is mainly on Instagram. I hope you will join me on my JulieFast Instagram page.
Health care professionals are welcome on The Stable Table and The Stable Bed.
