Hi Julie. I just discovered your blog. I have a question; are you married or in a relationship? I am married to someone with bipolar and I have young children. I wake up each and every day wondering “what will happen today.” I don’t know if I can do it much longer. I guess I’m looking for some sort of hope. Thanks, Marie
Hi Marie,
Here is a short answer: (Well, it started short and then became long!)
1. Most people have trouble when one person has bipolar. Period. I know because I do a lot of coaching with partners.
2. Many are able to learn skills to help communication when the person is in a mood swing- I call my system the Bipolar Conversation. Remember, when your partner is in a mood swing, you are talking to the illness. You both have to learn to get past this.
3. I highly suggest you read Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping your partner. I wrote this with my colleague Dr. John Preston and it is guaranteed to help and give you skills to help communication – and to help you make a decision with what you can and can’t handle. My ex partner Ivan and I were together for ten years – this book came from our experiences when he was in a massive manic/psychotic episode and in the hospital for two months. I was diagnosed a year later- so it has both perspectives! We are no longer together, but it was not due to bipolar and we are still in regular contact!
4. And finally- it’s up to you. What is best for you and your child? When is love not enough? I say it’s when the person with bipolar disorder hurts continually us more than loves and cherishes us- but that is so very complicated isn’t it! I believe that if the person with bipolar is trying hard- taking meds or trying to find the rights ones- seeing a doctor and working with you to communicate as best you can- that is the best scenario and very, very possible. But if someone continually hurts you, says the problems are your fault, refuses meds and upset you and your child. It’s a decision you have to make in your best interest.
Thanks for your question. I believe in your ability to make the decision that is right for you. I really do. Julie
PS: If you look to the right on the blog and scroll down- there is a category list and relationships is one of the topics. Visit www.JulieFast.com and click on coaching to hear more about my one on one work.
