I have what I call Ultradian Rapid Cycling Bipolar II with psychotic features, etc. Truthfully, my form of bipolar is pretty rare- which is probably why I can write about bipolar 24 hours a day- my moods change so constantly. I just counted that in the last ten days I’ve had 15 mood swings. I get very, very tired of it. These mood swings have been constant since 2002- I am not sure why I’ve gotten so much worse over the years- though I know my management skills have improved 1000% since I wrote the Health Cards. That is why I talk about them so much.
I am speaking to a group of psychiatric residents at Oregon Health and Sciences University hospital next week. I am very looking forward to this- and in the opening of my talk, I’m going to ask the audience to guess how many mood swings I’ve had since January 1st of this year. Can you guess? I will post the number after the presentation. I actually cried a bit when I read the number – I guess we all cry about this illness-it’s so difficult to live with it.
I chart my mood every single day and have done so for at least ten years. It’s essential for me to know when I’m in a mood swing as my brain lies so much and if I listen to it, I will make big mistakes. Even now and I’m 46.
Do you have rapid cycling? It’s defined as three or more mood swings a year. Hmmm. Most of the people I work with have rapid cycling- so I think that is a pretty low estimate of mood swings!
What matters is that I’m not sick at this moment. I’m sure the mania that has been dogging me will come back later and I will have to be super careful at karaoke tonight- and when the depression hits- as it will in the next week for sure- I will be ready to fight it off.
How are you today? If you’re unsure of your moods- you can draw a line on a piece of paper- add a date and put a dot above the line for mania and a dot below for depression – with an X for anxiety and OCD and P (for psychosis) and you have a mood swing chart!
There is one in Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder- with an example of one of my real charts in the back. It’s pretty interesting. Take Charge is the perfect book if you were just diagnosed or care about someone who was just diagnosed. I love the book.
Julie
I also have ultradian rapid cycling. My psychiatrist diagnosed me with bipolar NOS. Because of the short duration of my mood swings he said I didn’t “fit” anywhere else (what am I, a pair of shoes?) I can’t understand what justification the DSM has for leaving out an obvious symptom that many people with bipolar seem to have. It makes me feel “hey, I can’t even do bipolar right”.
I keep a mood chart every day and that seems to help me keep a handle on things. It is also handy for when I visit my therapist. I highly recommend the practice if you’ve never tried it. Interestingly, it showed me that I have smaller cycles within larger ones. What I mean is that each day there are swings but, over time, the severity of these swings varies up and down as well. I certainly hope the next version of DSM wakes up to the reality of what actually happens in people’s lives.
Cee
Hi Cee,
You and I have the same form of the illness. I can often have three to five mood swings a day- mostly from mild depression to excessive depression, back to mild, back down and then maybe up a bit into hypomania. I have learned to get myself out of these on a daily basis. Triggers really affect the rapid cycling. If you go to the back of my book Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder you can see one of my mood swing charts- I have a feeling you will find it very familiar. It’s great that you chart your moods. I stay in a mood swing about 75% of the time- it’s very exhausting.
I have to gently disagree with your doctor- as Bipolar II can definitely have this many mood swings. The DMS has always been behind with it’s classification and explanation of rapid cycling. Maybe it will change with the new addition! I always laugh SUPER HARD when they classify rapid cycling as two/three or more mood swings a year. I had over 300 distinct mood swings in 2010! Have you ever counted yours for the year? It can be pretty depressing.
My diagnosis is Ultradian Rapid Cycling Bipolar II with psychotic features. Though my psychosis has been much better in the past year.
Thanks for writing- no we are not shoes and one size does not fit all! Julie
Thank you, Julie. I know how busy you are and I respect your need to balance out all your obligations to yourself and others (you are a great example for me because I’m lousy at using the “no” word). It made me appreciate even more your taking time to comment on this issue. It is good to know that someone understands. I’m new to this bipolar thing (though not to depression!) so when my pdoc said that, it really upset me (aha, a trigger!). Feel free to disagree with my pdoc VERY strongly 😉
I will check out your mood chart (mine helps me so much) and I am looking forward to your BP magazine blog on Thursday concerning not remembering how bad/good your moods are when you’re not in them. Your blogs are the best. I’m working through the archives now and learning as much as I can. You have given me a lot of hope for the future. My therapist was amazed at how much I had improved after reading “Get It Done When You’re Depressed” (lack of motivation and perfectionism are two of my biggest problems). I told him he should recommend that book to all his clients, and I’m sure he will.
Dear Julie:
Several years ago I was very interested in using your card system and purchased them, filled them out with care, and tried to interest my therapist of many years–he said he was really interested, but only devoted a small portion of 4 or 5 of our frequent sessions to discuss a few of the cards. He eventually gave up on me suddenly, and it’s taken me 3 years to be willing to try with another therapist. I decided this week to start all over again with the card system.
So I looked up your website, which has REALLY changed since I last looked at it. One thing I have a question or comment about: when you talk to support people and people in relationship with someone with bipolar, you often warn them and describe the beginnings of a manic episode by saying, your loved one goes off his/her medication and these things you should be prepared for:… My question or problem with this is: there are many of us, I know several that my psychiatrist alone treats and others that I have met, who do NOT stop taking medication ever–usually there are no medications that have worked at all–after a trial of ALL of them the FDA has approved as well as others used when not specified for use with bipolar. People like me cycle-it could be very few months or years or days or hours, simply because that is what our bipolar brains do, with the medications or not. There are many of us who never miss our medication and thus become manic; it just happens, regularly–so how can I use what you’ve written to the ones in relationships with us or our family members from your site or your books, when you never address this and make it sound like the mania happens always due to someone stopping medication? Vicki Thieme
Hi Vicki,
The Health Cards have many scenarios on why a person gets manic- going off meds is one of them. But you are totally right that it’s not always the cause. Many people get manic while on their meds. These are called break through episodes. I have friends who get manic every seven years- while on meds. I get hypomanic and am on meds. Sometimes it’s the sun- and other times it’s travel. I miss meds sometimes, but I can usually catch up by taking them at night every few hours.
Mania is so very tricky. It sneaks up on a person- that is what the Health Cards are for- if you or a loved one know exactly what the first signs of mania are, you can get help before it goes too far. This is essential in managing mania.
It still catches me and I find myself lying to the people around me by not telling them I’m manic. I keep it inside because I don’t want someone to ruin my buzz- but I catch myself quickly and know that lying is on my Health Cards list and I stop.
So, there are so many reasons a person gets manic- we just have to be ready for it by recognizing the small stuff before it’s too late!
Thanks for writing.
Julie
Thank you so much Julie for taking the time to write. Of course, you and I know that people can get manic without going off their medications–I just am not sure how to share your materials with my family members–if they would even be willing to read them, because they would accuse me right away if I became manic of going off medications. They are a difficult bunch to deal with in the first place–ignore the problem is their anthem. But I thank you for you prompt imput! Vicki
Thank goodness I finally found this site and people who sound more like me. Below is what I gave to my parents after they refused to take me to a doctor. I’d love to hear if anyone faces similar struggles.
I’ve always felt different, but never let anyone on to it. From a young age I felt so much more mature than my peers, while also seeming more in tune with the dynamics of my surroundings, especially those social. Being that nobody talks about what they do by themselves, or the process/speed/and unique organized way their brain works, I don’t doubt the skeptics of bipolar or mood disorders. However, skepticism doesn’t justify the refute of an illness that we don’t yet know how many people are affected by. The “Golden Age” of psychology that followed behaviorism brought forth the technologies of brain imaging that have yet to be around for 25 years. At one point all of the most reliable scientists agreed that the earth was flat, California was an island, and that an atom was the smallest particle. What I’m getting at is that this isn’t the first time science and skeptics have been wrong in their conclusions.
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