After 15 years of daily bipolar disorder management- I’m really seeing the results. I never thought I would get better. I’m going to sound like a broken record on this, but it’s true. You can get better. I can’t give you a time frame, but it can happen.
By better I mean that I can work part time. It’s interesting that I would measure my success on this level,but I do. I have worked for years on my friendships and they are going well. They are always challenging,but I feel I have the skills to deal with what comes up- especially in terms of my jealousy and paranoia when I get depressed. I have a good relationship with my family. I can see a lot of good things in my life. It’s not perfect of course. People leave me – get upset with me- maybe even grown tired of me! But I can handle it. The big change is that I can sit and work.
Being able to work without getting sick has eluded me for many years. It happened because I found medications that work well with my management plan. It took a long time to adjust to the side effects- and my life is not perfect- which I very naively thought it would be! But I’m better.
Believe me, if I’m 49 and am working more efficiently than in many years.
Julie
Julie,
These are some resources that may be helpful to you and fellow readers. –
www. madinamerica.com/resources/ (you can copy and past the address into your browser.)
Duane
Hi Duane,
I love this blog. I’ve also done some work with Mind Freedom- an organization out of Eugene, Oregon that is not too fond of medications. We have had some very good discussions. I believe that if we all open our minds and hearts to see where others are coming from- we can learn from each other and can all get better. I just want this illness to end. It’s hell as you may know. I’ve finally found a plan that works best for me. It took way too long- but at least I’m not suicidal every day. I look foward to following the blog! Julie
Love your positive outlook, I’m the one who worked at NIMH for 32 years and was fired, not sure if you remember me. Stigmatization is alive and well at a facility where I worked for many years, where they study Bi-Polar, Schizophrenia (my brother is, diagnosed at 10), and many other mental health problems. I’m still very angry about this, but I don’t feel I can work and my disability is nothing, I lost all my real retirement when going on disability, this is so wrong, I never ever threatened anybody, but I did tell them what I thought of them. I was a good worker and was top of my game until my world fell apart 5 years ago, nobody really cared that I left and this was apparent. I have few friends and most of those have deserted me too. So, trying to find something menial and staying positive is what I need, but it’s often hard to do when you don’t know what your future holds, I’m not good with changes. I’m on A LOT of meds too, but I’m still terribly depressed, I wish I’d get mania again, just for a couple of weeks just to feel good. I know this is not good, but really. I get good information from your sight and have read two of your books, want to get the cards, but I can’t afford them right now, I know that would be a big help, so I will save for them. I knew all the greats of Psychiatry, and may I say some of them were also quite off. LOL, but still brilliant in their research, it is so true. We can only do our best, I did, wasn’t good enough. How does one get over one more defeat in their life, I’ve had so many, my job was my saving grace and I was proud of the fact I hung on for 32 years, but wasn’t eligible to retire at 49, I had to wait it out 5 more years for full. Sometimes I just hate myself so much. This is one of those days.
Hi – I totally understand what you’re saying here. A lot of my identity surrounds my work (I am a writer) and my bipolar has kept me from paid work the past couple of years. (I have just applied for disability.) I feel hopeful when you say you are working part time. Thanks for a great blog!