I think it’s essential that people with a lot of depression get very, very clear on what makes them happy. These are the things that alleviate depression- or at least make it slightly better. These things can then be waiting when the depression starts. You can make a list of what works to help you get out of the down swing. Then you can pull this out and use it – if it’s written down it can break through the depression and actually do something- and when you have a list of what makes you happy you can also have these things ready.
Here is mine- and believe me, I need it lately.
1. Singing. I love karaoke with friends- if I do it by myself when I’m well- then it can be tough- so I know that my list has to be clear- I like to sing with friends. I have a karaoke bar I’ve been going to for 8 years. I fell better when I sing.
2. Being with large groups- especially if I am speaking to the group. This makes me happy. So, it means I have to set up these meetings in advance- sometimes it’s six months in advance. Then it is ready for me. I am depressed a portion of most days- so it’s important to have these meetings to look forward to.
I make lists like this all of the time when I’m well. Making myself do them when I’m sick can be hard. Even after after all of this time, I often think that the depression won’t come back and I can just plan day to day. But no- so I have to plan for happiness.
Julie
I woke up this morning to a cloudy, dreary day. My mood also reflects this weather change- unmotivated, discouraged, low energy. Yesterday it was 80 degrees and sunny and I felt great! A 4 mile run probably contributed to my feelings of happiness.
I work at home. After being up for a few hours this morning and getting the kids off to school I found myself migrating towards the bedroom to take a nap. The blinds were drawn, the phone turned off, and my sound machine was running full blast. Just before I climbed into bed a little voice stopped me and reminded me that crawling into bed wouldn’t make me feel better. And I really wasn’t that tired. I had been focusing on the work/errands and chores that need to get done- anyone would want to crawl in bed after looking at that list. Mentally, I went through the list, crossed of everything that wasn’t urgent and focused on doing things that I enjoy and those that must be accomplished. The list is much short than it was a few hours ago. I’m still don’t have any pep in my step, but I’m not in bed either.
This illness just creeps up on me when I least expect it. I never go to bed at night thinking tomorrow’s supposed to rain what do I need to do the ward off the depression? ‘Normal” people don’t do that and I forget that my brain works differently that others. So I’m off to do some good things for myself and hoping the mind will follow.
Hi Tracy,
I just put this on the main blog. Stories like yours are so inspirational- because we all have a time we want to get into the hole that is our bedroom. I look at it that way if the sleeping is about depression! Good for you!!! Julie
These are some great tips, and I can really relate to the crawling back to bed scenario Tracy just wrote about. I also work from home, and I have been struggling to be productive with my work. If the depression has crept up on me, sure, it’s way easier to just go back to bed. So, I’ve also tried to shift focus, but then I realize I end up shifting that focus for far too long and still get nothing done, and then feel stupid/awful about it later. What to do?
I relate to Kate’s feelings of being inadequate, unproductive and useless when she’s depressed and trying to work. When I’m stressed or low/depressed my focus goes out the window. Everything becomes a distraction! The simple act of sitting at my desk and accomplishing something is near impossible. I work part-time from home approx. 4 hours a day. On a “bad” day my work can take up to 6 or 7 hours to complete. Talk about frustration! It’s not that I’m lazy; people comment on my strong work ethic. If I could sit down for a 4 hour chunk of time each day just imagine all the free time I’d have.
Time management is such a HUGE hurdle for me. It requires so much energy on my part and can be highly stressful. It’s so tied into my mood. When I’m depressed it takes extra effort to accomplish tasks that I often run behind. When I’m stable or hypo-manic I cram so many things in my day I’ve failed before I’ve even started. When I make plans to meet friends most of them ask, “Are we on regular time or “Tracy” time.”
I made a list of things that make me feel ‘happy’, and oddly enough doing the dishes was on there! I do not like to do dishes, but I love how clean the kitchen looks when I get the sink cleared of dirty dishes, and the feeling of accomplishment boosts me up. Once I do that, I feel motivated to do something else that needs to be done.
wow! I agree that a clean kitchen makes a huge difference. You can just focus on the kitchen when you aren’t feeling well and the rest of the house can wait!
Tracy, I can completely relate to what you’re saying. Have you read Get it Done When You’re Depressed? It has all of the strategies I use on the days where four hours of work just seems to not get done or turns into miles of driving, getting down on myself and then only working a few hours. I hate it when it happens, so I wrote the book to make sure it happens less! Thanks to all of you for writing. Julie