After my divorce I fell into a depression. There were many harmful things about this state of mind for me but one of these was lack of eating. Some people use food for comfort when they are depressed, I am the opposite. When I am depressed I don’t eat. I share custody of my children and the weeks that they were not with me I would literally lay in bed all week and not eat. Sometimes I would get up and look in the fridge but nothing looked good, nothing sounded good and it all seemed like way to much work just to eat. Even pouring a bowl of cereal seemed like too much work, I literally thought lifting the spoon to my mouth and having to chew was too much effort. It took me a long time to realize that I was sick and needed help.
I had never experienced depression in my life and it wasn’t until I started pulling myself out of this hole that I understood how sick I really was. Many of my friends tell me that they wish they had this problem and that they would change places with me anytime. They sometimes will even get a little mean and say things like, oh yeah poor Sheri, she’s so skinny, I feel so sorry for you….always in a sarcastic voice. This can be just as unhealthy as over eating.
People told me I was looking very thin, I ignored them because society accepts thin and no one guessed that I had just stopped eating. At this point I could see my ribs. I finally asked for help. Friends would text me daily and ask if I had eaten. One friend would text me constantly until I would finally go into the kitchen and eat something. I promised them I would not lie about my eating. I still find myself forgetting to eat some days but I constantly check in at regular meal times and ask myself, “Sheri? Have you eaten today?” If it all seems like too much I know I better do a little checking in to see where I am mentally. I’m much better now. I have always loved food so I now I treat myself to food I enjoy and that is healthy for me. I’ve gained the weight back and my depression is much better. I owe it to myself and my children to be healthy.
Sheri Joi
Hi. I too lost a ton of weight when I was the most sick. I had no appetite whatsoever. Now (3-4 years later), I am WELL!! I love food. I have an enormous appetite. That’s a good thing. However, I have put on more weight than I’m comfy with. Life is so funny. Now, Im uncomfortable w/that and finding that at age 45, it’s REALLY hard to lose the extra inches. The meds are no help to the weight loss as well. My partner has a really good picture of me in several different places (bdrm, offce, and screen saver. Yes, a bit much but, yay! My partner digs me alot :). Nyway, I look at this picture and think, “Damn,I looked good. I wsh i could look like tht again. Then I realise, ewww, in that picture, I look kind of sickly (which I was.So much)and I think. “Dang, I am well now. I am comrtable in the world again. I’m better off lookin’ a bit cuddlier than looking almost like one of those poor little ethiopian children who are starving. Anyway, it’s definitely a privelidge to be able to share stories w/my community. Thnks.
I wish I could say that I have a similar experience. My eating and weight will goes both ways. There are times that I will lose weight when depressed, and other times I can’t stop putting food in my mouth. When stuffing my face, I think it is just trying to do something besides vegitate. I need to do something….eat. This occurs when I actually feel like doing anything. The weight loss comes when I just don’t feel like moving. Question: When your depressed do you find yourselves just starring ahead at the tv/computer, and before you realize it the show/movie is over, where did the two hours go?