I recently asked a NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) friend of mine how he was doing. Roberto is a lawyer who modified his practice to fit his bipolar disorder. He has done so well! We always talk about how we can keep going when we get sick. And he is doing it! Even when he wrote this, he was doing well at work. It seems impossible, but he has learned to have a life despite this illness. I admire him and I learn from him.
Dear Julie,
Thanks for asking how I am. I hate telling you this, but I’ve been really depressed again. I hate it as I’m sure you do! We know what we go through. I’m sad for my friends and mother when I get this sick. You definitely understand- I’ve read your books. But I still feel so alone. It’s ridiculous!
I try hard to limit my crying and worrying when I’m around them, but sometimes I can’t help it. One of my friends said, “Don’t worry Rob. You can be honest with me. I’ll be your guiding light when you need me.” We all need friends like this. Especially when you’re a guy. We need male friends who can be so open. I feel incredibly embarrassed when I cry like a baby- or sissy or the other things I was taught.
I’ve worked really hard to have people in my life who can be there for me when I get really sick. I try so hard not to burden them and I definitely spread myself out amongst them – but they have to be ready for when I get really sick.
A huge part of my treatment plan is the third section of your Health Cards plan – my friends and family have this section memorized and it makes all of the difference for me. I’m often able to get myself through a down swing – but during the times, like this week, when the down swing is particularly severe- I need people even more. I know that if I cry and feel hopeless and helpless they will be there and know exactly what to do- because I taught them how to help me when I was well. It takes special friends to be this wonderful. I lost most of my friends in the late 90’s due to my negativity and neediness. It really is possible to change and be a person that someone wants as a friend, even if that person gets really sick. You mean a lot Julie.
Roberto
