Bipolar Disorder Depression Sucks

Bipolar Disorder Depression Sucks- that is for sure.

I was very sick today. It always shocks me how debilitating depression can be.

For much of the day I literally had trouble getting out of my chair. It felt like the batteries in my body were dead.

I desperately wanted and needed to work. I have so much to do- too much email and a lot of deadlines. I want to be a normal worker.  I forced myself to get in my car and go to the library, but when I got there I was so uncomfortable I left. Finally, I put in a DVD and rested my brain. It was in what I call the civil war- you should do this, no do this, no do this, you’re a poor worker because you don’t do anything, you need to work, I can’t work today. On and on.

It’s awful. Isn’t it. If you have bipolar disorder, you’ve been there for sure.

I hate it. So, I remembered what I say in all of my books- if I want to get things done when I’m depressed, there are strategies I know will work. I just have to use them.

So I called my mom and I said, “I’m sick. I’m not functioning at all. Can you come over and help me clean my room?”

She came over and I immediately felt better. I kept having to sit down, but I at least got up and helped clean. I got something accomplished and it helped reduce my depression.

It’s almost time for bed, but I’ve reached my goal. I always want to go to bed feeling better than when I woke up. I’m crying a bit while I write this- but it’s ok. Being able to write is a real plus on a very difficult day.

Julie