It’s two am!!! I had caffeine today and this is my punishment. If I didn’t have bipolar disorder, it would not be a big deal. I’d just sleep more the next day or make up for it the next night.
That is not how it works for me. Because I have pretty severe rapid cycling, I can’t risk the highs of caffeine simply because they mess up my sleep so badly! I’ve only had regular coffee a few times this year – I usually drink decaf. But the iced coffee today when it was ninety degress just looked and tasted so good. It sent me way up and I thought I was going into an up swing.
It took me until one am tonight to realize what was happening. Now I have to take my Ativan to sleep and my day will be screwed up tomorrow. I have enough mood swings as it is.
Caffeine is a serious problem for people who have bipolar disorder. The iced coffee tasted so good! But I’ve learned that bipolar management is all about tradeoffs. 15 minutes of pleasure for a sleepless night is not a good deal.
No more caffeine!
Julie
I have Bipolar I Disorder, at least that what I was diagnosed with during my first and only hospitalization. My therapist believes that I have Cyclothimia. She says that I became manic because I was under a lot of stress and since I was unaware of my situation, I did not stop myself at the warning signs. Anyway, that’s my background.
As far as caffeine goes, I’ve found that it’s incredibly helpful, as long as I don’t take it past 6pm. After my manic episode, I swung into a deep depression, and when my father bought me a cup of coffee, he immediately noticed that I pulled myself together a little bit. Ever since, I’ve used caffeine to get me going – especially on hot days like this!
I read your blog all the time. Although I understand that you have Rapid Cycling, sometimes I think that when you give advice, you put too much blame on the illness for things that we actually can control. But, this entry did sound a little manicy.
PS – You need to work on the formatting, it’s all messed up.
I think there was something in the air along with caffeine. It had to be one of my longest nights in a long time. Last night was a little better but I still seem to be in a tail spin. I just can’t believe one night can change a few days for me. UGGGGGG