I recently received an email from a woman who plays the fiddle! This is a long exchange, but I think the information is interesting, informative and encouraging!
Here is her note:
Hi Julie,
In a week I am teaching at a fiddle camp and have been struggling to get well for quite awhile (too much fiddling this past year!). I am starting to feel more balanced and want to maintain that wellness during the week of instructing and ensure I don’t ‘crash’ after the weekend. (No late late night ‘jamming’ for me 🙂 – It’s difficult when that is a part of the culture- and I know you already know all of this – just sharing. I am also thankful for your material – I am working through the Health Cards already.
When I read your story and about your singing (karaoke),(in fact everything you shared), I could relate very well. I just finished judging a fiddle competition last weekend and was concerned about the job because judging competitions is very intense and they are late each night (averaging about 5 hours of sleep per night). There is a lot of work involved in staying well in those situations.
Last year I averaged about 4 hours of sleep per night at the fiddle camp and didn’t fare so well afterwards. In fact, the past year hasn’t been a good one because of the judging jobs, camps, workshops, private lessons, and performances (all outside of my day job).
I have had to stop and remind myself that I am bipolar and need to live according to a wellness plan – hence the health cards. I already have the books “Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder” and “Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder”. The books are great! The Health Card system; exactly what I needed in the practical sense.
Below is just a sharing of the bigger picture if you want to know it:
For about 10 years I had stopped everything related to my music due to medications and life complications. Now that I am back, demands have been hard to balance. I am now taking baby steps(can’t emphasize the baby steps part enough) in order to do ‘double checks’. For example, I have a waiting list of people who want lessons. I want to teach them and do have room in my schedule if I want to get sick again :-). Saying no isn’t easy especially when it is your passion, a life work,.. When I read about you saying no to certain things, it encouraged me to re-evaluate my situation and acknowledge that I needed to say no as well. There is grieving in the ‘letting go’ but when everything is said and done, our giving is complete when we can give fully by keeping within our ‘plan’. Giving becomes fractured when stepping outside the realm of wellness.
Julie, I have camp coming up, another judging job, a trip to Washington, and more obligations but I feel equipped to manage myself in order to stay well now. It feels like quite a project but the alternative of constantly ‘putting out fires’ has burned me out too many times.
I am finding that being vigilant is the key and the more knowledge I have, the better I can be at making the right decision – regardless of what others say or think.
What I have shared with you is the bigger picture and if there is anything you can use that would benefit someone, please do.
I haven’t been public about being bipolar although I do think about it a lot.
Karen
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I just love this letter because it shows how a trigger- staying up late jamming with your friends – can make you sick and yet it’s a part of the world you want to be a part of! But you can absolutely modify what you do without having to stop what you love. I still do karaoke- I just make sure I’m home by midnight so that I don’t turn into a singing pumpkin.
We all have to make sacrifices when we have bipolar. If you care about someone with bipolar disorder, it may be hard on you that we can’t do the things you want us to- and we probably ruin your fun a lot- but there can be a balance! Teaching fiddling instead of staying out late playing is probably not Karen’s first choice, but she’s doing all she can to stay well. I admire that!
Karen may be a fiddle teacher, but she is a bipolar disorder expert as well. I learned a lot from her letter.
Julie
