Are you manic Julie?
I get so pissed when my mom asks me this question! Of course, I taught her to ask it and I want her to ask it, but it always makes me mad.
I mostly have euphoric hypomania. It is wonderful at the beginning. It’s tricky as it usually comes after a depression- so I desperately want and need to feel better. But I know that what goes up must come down, so I have to be ready for the downswing.
I’ve trained myself by using the Health Cards to go into treatment mode as soon as the hypomania starts. Damn, damn, damn. That is actually mild language for what it feels like to realize that feeling good is actually being manic.
If you have a lot of mild manias, this means that you’re rapid cycling. It means your meds are not working fully or that you or something outside of you is triggering the mania in some way. Like many people, I have a lot more euphoric mania in the summer because of the sunlight.
What a complicated, awful illness this is! Bipolar mania is dangerous. It’s sad that something can feel soooooooooo good and be so dangerous, but it’s something we must accept if we want to get better. Stability is good; mania is bad.
So, when my mom says “Are you manic Julie?” I get pissed, but I always listen and do what the Health Cards say I have to do.
Julie
I can relate. I have a great safety net as I call it which includes my husband, sister (and best friend), several other friends, mother who has had to deal with dad’s, mine and my other sister’s illness for a very long and trying time, a good therapist, and a wonderful psychiatrist.
My husband is usually the one who notices the first signs. When I am heading into a hypo/manic episode and Feel Really Good, those words cut me to the Heart. I just wish I could enjoy the really exciting feelings for a while. Sadly, I too know what goes up must come down- one way or another.
It is extremely frustrating to know that the proper steps to get my mood back into a more “manageable state” must be taken or I might get really sick. Why can we not just enjoy the ride for just a short while? — Because if we do not get off the ride at the first chance we will most likely hurt ourselves or even worse someone else.
I would like to have one really good healthy day in which I did not question myself! How about you?
everyone here seems so “normal” and willing to work with their illness and they get good family support. it’s really nice to see that. i wish that i could have had the same from my wife because i loved her so much. but instead i endured 12 years of spending sprees and bad checks, up-and-down mood swings, and sometimes violent outbursts both verbally and physically from her. for most of those years the doctors diagnosed her as depressed and prescribed anti-depressants. Paxil was the worst and i believe was the catalyst for an extremely psychotic episode she had. but i loved her and kept going and supporting her emotionally, too, when she would get depressed. we tried other therapies like hormonal treatments and had her thyroid checked but nothing really worked. we just chalked it up to when her period came around these things would happen but mostly the mania. that seemed to be the cycle. but just last year we went to the dr for a medication review and he realized that she was having an acute manic episode right in front of him. It was bad. that’s when we found out that she was bipolar. we had no idea. They gave prescribed risperdahl and it worked, although my wife complained that it made her feel sedated. Three days later she stopped all treatment and refused all medication and slipped into the worst mania I’ve ever seen and said she had to leave. her whole personna changed as did her physical appearance, especially the way she did her hair dropping across one eye. and she started drinking heavily, something she’d never done. while i was at work she ran away with somebody she just met leaving me and the kids. we’re getting divorced now. but her episodes are getting worse and she comes to the house when i’m away and “shops” for stuff. She told me straight up that she doesn’t care about the restraining order or anything else because she has rights. one day while i was at work she came to the house, called a locksmith, and took one of our cars (she already has her own) because she wanted it and believed it was hers. that’s what she told me. changing the locks hasn’t helped either. anyone with experience handling this legally I’d sure like to know because i’m very stressed. my kids are older and at first they knew something was wrong. but after a year it seems all is forgotten and i’m the sole voice in the woods saying she needs help. her family has only helped her leave and by not saying anything has made it seem that everything that happened was “normal”, she was just unhappy as they told me later. my family has tried but have gotten nowhere with them. i’ve tried to move on from this but the continual manic harassment by phone, text, and email is making it nearly impossible. to be fair we’d had some decent conversations during our separation. but mostly it hasn’t been good. and for the past month it’s been really bad. i’d appreciate any advice. thank you.
i’ve read lots of books on this illness including Jamison’s book. i tried to talk to my wife about this. but she says that i’m the crazy one. i’ve also been to the bipolar support group meetings. but when i tell my whole story the room gets quiet and you can hear the gasps then they tell me they’ve never heard an extreme story like mine. i think i’m alone in this. sorry for the long post. i figured somebody would hear me out here. thanks. maybe there’s really nothing i can do. it felt good to get this out anyway. thanks.