Wow, I am getting so many comments regarding teenagers and bipolar disorder. It’s a topic that is NEVER talked about- maybe that is because it’s so complicated. If you have not read my blog entries on the topic, you can go to the right and click on the teenager category to read them. I am following up with the topic through a reader question- here is a good one that captures the fear and confusion so many of us feel when someone we love has bipolar disorder that isn’t being treated effectively.
This reader comment is from ‘Mom from a 19 year old with bipolar disorder.’
Julie,
I have two bipolar daughters and a bipolar ex-husband. My heart is hurting now for my teenage daughter. She’s not well right now and she seems only to become involved in destructive relationships with guys who have criminal records, drug issues, no job etc. How can I help her see that her own moods and health are affected by her choices and that I’m not just being a critical Mom who doesn’t like her boyfriends? (I do like them, they are just NOT good for her) She is also in counseling, on medication but the constant DRAMA in her life would cause anyone to feel like they’re living life on a roller coaster. How can I better help her help herself?
Also Julie, I so appreciate you devoting your life to helping others with this disease and sharing so openly your own experiences. You are helping many.
Hello Mom!
First of all, you daughter is lucky to have you. I say that to all parents who try to learn about this illness even when it breaks their heart to see what it does to their children.
It’s a dangerous and rotten illness, but it absolutely can be managed. It may take many years as it did with me, but it can get better.
When I was particularly sick and didn’t know how to control my mood swings, I made very bad decisions with men. This is just what happens when a person is manic/depressed/psychotic/anxious and unhappy! Going for a relationships- especially one that involves sex is how many people try to cope. It doesn’t work unless the person is also willing to do the work needed to make sure they pick the right person- which is pretty hard to do when you’re sick.
Also, a 19 year old doesn’t have the maturity to be forward thinking- that is one of the main problems of bipolar disorder in teens.
There are many things you can do to make it easier on yourself- because as you have seen, she is going to do her own thing until SHE decides she wants a joyful, stable and fulfilling life instead of one filled with mood swings, men who aren’t right for her and a strained relationship with the people who care about her.
I will give tips on the next blog. I don’t want this one to turn into a novel!
Julie
My gosh, how PERFECTLY this fits with my own daughter! Only – she’s now 27 and nothing has changed since her teens (except she FINALLY got her diagnosis a couple of months ago)
It never ceases to amaze me how much is shared amongst us all with this condition.