Emotions caused or exacerbated by bipolar disorder are often so uncomfortable we want others to help us feel better. For example, if you’re waiting for an important email from someone- your intense obsession with the email will probably make you feel the other person has to answer in a certain amount of time and if they don’t……
….this means they don’t care about you.
A solution is to make rules for yourself such as- I will never go after people before I know their intentions. Or, say to yourself over and over again: “This is about bipolar disorder. Feeling extreme anxiety over the desire to get an emotional fix as soon as possible is my problem and not the problem of the other person. I have to learn to control this or I will ruin relationships.”
No one will ever understand why on earth we would get ill while waiting for a simple email, but we do. And we have to deal with it.
Julie
Wow – I could have written exactly what you posted above. And in all honesty – I never really attributed it to BP directly. If anything, more a personality disorder trait.
I am glad that it would appear I am not alone in this. I consider it to be one of my biggest downfalls and weaknesses in life.
I have ruined countless relationships by responding exactly as you have depicted above. I expect an answer, and quick. Or even re-send the mail, attach a read-receipt, ask colleagues if they have any updates… I really obsess and hope I can now handle this better, by having the view-point that it is BP related and I therefore have an explanation of why I do it. The way I manage it will also definitely change
Hi Jackie,
Thanks for your great comment. I had forgotten the read receipt ….. that is when it gets really bad! Julie
This is SO me! Sometimes I sit and hit the check-email button over and over again just waiting for a response and now that I can check my email on my phone, I can do this anywhere, anytime. (I’ve actually been doing this all day today!) I know when I get obsessed with my email that I’m having BP trouble Based on how I’m currently handling my email, it might be time for a visit with the counselor!
This post hit home. The only difference for me is that the emotional fix I’m looking for is my weekly therapy session. If I have a bad day, invariably I say to myself, “How am I going to wait (enter a number) more days to have my session? I need it RIGHT NOW!” Of course, by the time I get there the episode has usually blown over and I wonder what all the fuss was about.
Now that I think about it, I do have another time when I can’t wait for that fix. I belong to a site for artists where you can upload your art and then people can make comments on it. They have a rule about no negative comments ( you can give a helpful critique though) so most of the comments you get are really wonderful. I am always so anxious to get online and see if I got a comment. I check the site several times a day and am kind of let down if there isn’t a comment on my art. Luckily, I like writing comments myself, so usually the visit to the site is not a total loss. I wish I didn’t feel so anxious about the comments every time I get online. Being on that site is a double-edged sword. The comments help build my self esteem, but when I don’t get one it is hell.