I was very depressed a few days ago and the only way I can decribe it is Debilitating Depression
I would certainly never call darkness a friend, but the Simon and Garfunkel song gets the mood right.
The depression was so bad I could hardly hold my head up. When I get depressed like this, I sit in a chair and put my head in my hands. A cacophony of terrible thoughts, sounds (often songs) and an unbelievable feeling of DOOM crawl in to every cell in my body.
This is the kind of depression that keeps people in bed for months.
But… I knew what it was and started to fight and fight and fight and told myself- you will get out of this Julie. You will start now.
Here is what I did:
1. Forced the real me to talk to the depressed me.
Julie. Get up. This is bipolar. Don’t forget that. Get up Julie. Use your Get it Done tips. Don’t listen Julie. Don’t listen. You will have a future- there is no what you are hearing is true. Think of what you are hearing. It’s a lie. Now get up. Get up!
2. Focused on what had to change in the next few hours so that I could at least get it to calm down. Yes, it took the rest of the day. But I know that a few years ago is was days and before that- it was months.
3. Looked at my med choices honestly. I’ve recently moved and my stuff,including my bottles of Lamictal (generic name Lamotrigine) is all over the place. I can fix that quickly. I am mad at myself for letting this happen. It’ dangerous.
And you?
If you are depressed like this- the debilitating depression- you can get through it. It lies- so don’t listen. Take action. Your body feels depressed but it can still move. One step to get you out of the bed or to turn off the TV or to walk about your door is enough.
Julie – no depression today- Fast
