Parental Responsibility
I believe that people with bipolar disorder who have children have an extra important role as parents.
It’s so easy to take bipolar disorder out on children- whether it be a lack of physical contact with a child when a parent is depressed or involving a child in dangerous behavior when a parent is manic. Children are so vulnerable. I will never forget a friend of mine telling me what it was like growing up with a mother who had bipolar disorder. She said, “When she got depressed, she stopped doing everything. I remember coming home from school and she would be on the couch eating potato chips watching soap operas. We had to get our own dinner. I was about 10. Then she would get better and clean up the house and things would go back to normal. We never talked about it. It’s not ok that she did this. I know she was sick and she couldn’t help it, but she saw what she was doing because I could tell she was guilty. There were things she could have done to get better.”
I have to agree with my friend because I have seen how bipolar affects my relationships. I don’t have my own children, but I have a nephew and a cat. Now, that may sound funny, but the situation is the same. Children and animals need physical contact and they need to play. If you’re not ‘there’ when you’re with them, they suffer. My cat loves to play with paper bags. When I’m depressed, the thought of playing with her is overwhelming. But I make myself do it. I get on the floor and we play with the bag. She gives me so much pleasure, I want to do the same for her. I feel a lot less guilty when I take 10 minutes to play with her.
It’s the same with my nephew. I make myself be there for him when we’re together. I tell him what’s going on and I make myself break through the fog of depression to play with him. He will respect me for that one day! There is a vido of us talking below.
If you’re a parent with bipolar disorder, it’s a great opportunity to show your children how hard you work to manage this illness. They will be so proud of you when they are old enough to understand.
Julie
