Dear Loving Partner,
Here are the qualities I so appreciate in you:
1. Consistency- this helps me stay consistent.
2. Understanding of my need for structure- and an equal understanding of how hard it can be for me to create and stick to structure. (This is a tough one and is often very hard on you I know.)
3. Willing to read books about bipolar disorder- especially Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder and Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder. We can then talk about the illness together.
4. Love, kindness and honesty. You have to tell me how you feel if I upset you- otherwise it stays bottled in and you will want to leave me. And then you feel guilty! ( I know you probably feel this way sometimes and it’s ok.)
5. When I am unreasonable, you say, “This is bipolar disorder talking. We need to focus on managing this illness together. I love you, but I will not have you treat me unkindly.” This is how to avoid The Bipolar Conversation.
6. Stability. Your stability helps my stability.
7. I want you to expect the same standards as above for me so that our relationship will be equal and not one based on caretaking.
Thank you,
Your loving partner
How can a relationship be based on being “equal” when one partner sees the other as “bipolar?”
The idea is absurd!
Love means no name calling.
Duane