I just recieved this comment from Melissa. Most of us have been here. That is for sure. It’s so important to remember that we are not weird or obsessive when we aren’t ill. Most of us are darn normal! It’s the illness- which means we have to become experts at managing the illness. Here is Melissa’s comment and my reply:
Julie,
I’m revved up and getting amped out. I can’t concentrate on my work. I’m seeing the three S’s – speeding, spending ; sex – on the increase. I battle with it constantly it seems and today I seem to be losing. I was triggered by the possibility of not getting to see someone I’ve been fantasizing about anymore so I’ve been trying to contact him. No-no. I took my PRN but it really isn’t helping. Good grief I’m having problems with this and I’m rambling to boot. Sorry. Melissa,
Hi Melissa,
Oh yes! We all know this feeling! It’s impossible to explain to others isn’t it. Maybe a fighter pilot- race car driver or extreme skier can understand?
The obsessions that come with mania are awful- and we will do things to calm the obsessions such as calling someone too much to get the relief of hearing his or her voice. But it starts all over again and then we get embarrassed and upset with ourselves and have to call them again to calm that down.
I have been there- but managed to stop the behavior two years ago by becoming celibate! – this doesn’t mean the impulse isn’t still there- it is- and often in full force- but I can control it more. I do not plan to remain celebate- but for now, I have to in order to do my work and have a ‘normal’ life.
I am so glad you wrote on the blog as it shows you have some insight into what’s going on. Fantasizing about someone you can’t have- or who isn’t interested in you is a black hole of pain. No matter what- keep yourself from calling- if this means running around the block, calling a therapist or friend, writing on the blog or whatever- throw your phone in the river! Ha ha. I’ve felt like doing this in the past. Remember, all obsessions pass if you don’t give into them.
When you get through this episode, you can work on preventing the mania the next time. Not dating has been a challenge lately and it can be lonely- but it’s keeping me well.
Let me know how you are! Julie
Huh. I used to have some of this behavior around men and sex, but I thought it was just youthful promiscuity and indiscretion. I hadn’t associated it with having bipolar disorder II, probably because I had only been diagnosed with depression at that point. This prompts a re-evaluation.
Hi Palmer,
Sexual inhibition is 100% a part of all manias. It can be so hard to recognize as it is so impulsive and feels right in the moment. Many huge sexual mistakes are made when a person is manic. That is why knowing the signs that you’re getting hyper sexual is essential. For me, it’s wanting to drink, thinking that men look FANTASTIC! and walking up to strangers in bars. Just lovely! So I work hard to prevent it. I write about it in all of my bipolar books. We can’t be too hard on ourselves about the past- but we have to do everything possible to make sure it doesn’t wreck our futures. Julie
Dear Julie I read your article in Bp magazine and it help give me more hope.Am 24 and though not diagnosed as Bipolar through my old psych classess and my support group i know theres something wrong.Ive had a thyriod test its not my thyriod.This is my second melt down am use doing a million things now i cant even go to school or work for months now.I try not to stress because my thoughts race a mile amin and i become so frustrated then i get angry.I dont even though where to start am at the point where am sure its bipolar and i need find right doctor,medz and therapy.Am starting feel it might not be a bad idea to give school and work a break cause i dont want to start up the same cycle again till am more on track.I try not think about how am inside and not out making money and having fun or that my friends are starting there own families and going about life while am inside with cold ive had for months and depression highs and low biting at me.Do you have any suggestions that could help me.lol i know keeping busy and writing,listening to music or wahtever else can help but somedays i have no energy for them. ps am defently manic and obsess at times when my mood swings take me
Hi Tami,
I was also shocked when I realized I had bipolar disorder and everything finally made so much sense. I really did wonder about myself- I could never really settle down and had so many ups and downs that I just assumed were a personal failing. I know better now. I agree that you need an official diagnosis. I also suggest you read my book Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder- it offers a very good explanation of the illness and its management without being ovewhelming. You can also use it to check your symptoms. I am so glad my BP magazine article helped. I wish you luck! You are definitely better to know than to wonder what is wrong! Julie