Blog From 2009: (I’m receiving comments asking if this is an old blog- nope! It’s new- my goal was to show you that I wrote the same thing in 2009 that I would write today in terms of holidays and bipolar disorder. I’ve learned that holidays are not for me in many ways, so I simply skip the ones I find stressful. I’ll be watching the World Cup on this holiday, so it’s a lot less stress this year!- here’s the post from a few years ago- but the sentiment remains the same. )
I am constantly astonished at how much trouble I have with holidays! It’s never ending. Yesterday was Independence Day here in the states. We do some major celebrating on that day. The weather was gorgeous here in Portland, Oregon. I go to a party every year on this day. I went yesterday as well. I was pretty depressed though- and all I could think of was how other people were at better parties- and that I never get to go to cool parties. Etc. This was absolutely ridiculous as I was with friends!
If you look at the other holiday posts on this blog, you will see similar thoughts. Something about the holidays brings out the bipolar symptoms in full force. It’s the pressure of having to have a good time. Last year I went to see friends for the New Year and my birthday and it helped a lot! I always try to learn from my past in terms of staying well- for next year I know that I need to have more than one plan for the 4th. Maybe a few parties to go to where I can pick and choose. Or maybe I can just to go another country. ha ha.
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I am planning now for my summer holiday plans. It’s ridiculous that I have to do this and people laugh at me- but it’s just the bipolar!
I know this is a very premature question- but do you have plans in mind for the July 4th?
Julie
PS: 2014. My nephew David- who is 12- asked me to go to the fireworks with him on the 4th. I am so happy he wants to be with me! I explained that in terms of my bipolar, the crowds, the late night and especially the noise from the actual fireworks! He understands. Bipolar takes stuff from us, but over time, you learn what you can and can’t do and it gets SO much easier!
I’m not good with holidays as well. I generally get very depressed from October to after Jan 1. I used to get so stressed about how clever I “had” to be with my kids’ homemade Halloween costumes, then I never really liked the kinds of food people eat on Thxgiving, and I worry that the gifts I got for people during Dec weren’t good enough. I think you have a very good point about it bring abt the BP symptoms.
Sheri
WOW. you sound like me. I am terrible with holidays and my bipolar is in full force.
Hi Danielle,
I know! I’m going to plan way, way ahead for the holiday months- that will be here in just a few months! julie
Julie,
I really struggle also with Holidays. Recently I have had a harder time as my husband of 28 years is having an affair with my best friend’s sister (I know sounds like Jerry Springer) anyway I have lost my husband and friends. Everyone was at the lake cabin we always celebrate the 4th on only I was not invited this year. I was heartbroken and it turned me suicidal. I had to do some quick talking to convince myself that I deserve to live and be happy. How do you do it when “friends” let you down. Thanks for all you tireless work. Deb
ah Deb I really truly feel for you, I can too because I too was in that same position many years ago, only wasnt with my best friends sister but still was an full on affair which didnt make it any the less hurtful I can assure you.
Its a very hard place to be I do know, and yes you do deserve better, we worked it out, took many years, and took long for him to earn my trust again, but I must be honest and say it did heal, though truthfully I did loose some of the love that I did once have for my husband, not only did he have the affair but had a child to go along with it, which was doubly hard to stomach, but today, 37yrs later, its as if its buried, I never cast it up to him, as I dont believe thats the way to go if you want to work at making your marriage work after an affair, but we have got to a place were we are together again, praise God, you may or may not want to go one with him, everyone’s circumstances are different, he wanted to stay with me and our kids, but we had to do some time apart so I could get my head around it all.
I wasnt diagnosed then with BP but I do believe that had a big chunk in helping me develope it in the first place. As it is said it comes from being ‘hurt’ mentally.
I see your post is dated 2009 so I hope by this time in year 2014 things have improved greatly for you Deb. God willing.
I have always hated buying gifts, going to crowed malls and being sure no one would like gifts I give them. Finally learned I wouldn’t fret about Christmas if I buy way before the holiday. There are many sales now so I get gifts at a great price. Buy on the internet so there is no stress.(Please don’t hate me) I just finished purchasing gifts for all of 2014.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!