Robin Williams has died from apparent suicide. This is a tough one. For ALL of us in the mental health world. Let’s keep perspective. This is a tragedy, but depression has symptoms and suicide is one of them. Most of us have been there. His pain was stronger than his ability to see any hope in the future. It’s what depression does to all of us. This is NO different than his dying from another illness such as cancer.
I ask that all of us who have or care about someone with a mental health disorder pass on the information that suicide is not shameful. It’s not a dirty word. It’s the outcome of an illness. Rest in peace Robin. We have been there and some of us make it out and some of us don’t.
If you were already down and you heard this news, remember the mantra.. Mental health disorders are illnesses. We can get help. Reach out to someone right now if you need help. His death is not a sign that we need to be more depressed. It’s a sign that we need to get help if we are depressed.
I will now follow my own advice and turn off the internet and take care of myself.
Julie
PS: You can read more thoughts and comments on my Facebook Page at Julie A. Fast.
UPDATE: What a tough few days for so many people. I made the decision to turn off all media a few hours after I heard the news. I have not watched any since- nor have I looked for information online. I also said no to interviews until I knew I was stable myself. Here is my latest post on the topic. I hope I can help you if you are feeling down about the loss of such a great man.
Here is a wonderful article written by the comedian Jim Norton about Robin Williams and why it seems so many funny people are also so sad. It is a great article. I would like to add my
answer to this question. It’s because depression is an ILLNESS and when combined with substance abuse, its a volatile illness. I have a life that many would envy from the outside as well- but if you knew how often I’ve been suicidal since age 19, you might be shocked and wonder how I can still be so suicidal after having so much success as a writer. The answer is that I have bipolar disorder and being suicidal has ZERO to do with my actual life. This is why it’s so hard for us to understand why Robin Williams- a person universally adored- as you can see in this article- would choose to end his life. I say- he didn’t choose to end his life- not at all.
Depression took his life.
There is a HUGE difference.
Looking at it this way eases the pain of his being gone.
Click here to read the article. Unless you need to take a break and you can read it later!
My father also killed himself and I never looked at it any other way than he died of an illness brought about by depression and pharmaceutical drugs. Back in 1970, the stigma was there and not many people understood the cause. But I refused to take his death personally. All I could think of was how hard it must have been for him to be happy. He was also hyper-responsible and when he couldn’t provide for his family, he felt he would only do more harm by adding to the financial burden. He left a loving letter, telling everyone how he felt and what he did to leave us in the best possible shape. I have shared that letter with a few people who have had loved ones commit suicide who did not have a letter to console them. I know it’s difficult to not take a suicide personally, but to those who have to survive this, I offer this: the pain of losing someone this way is more difficult if we blame ourselves for not doing enough. Often, we can’t see the depression. If you can, think of this person as having a cancer that retreats and then comes back, more ferocious than before. For me, I bless my dad for all he did while he was alive. Same goes for Robin. Love to all.
Julie,
First, my thoughts and prayers are with his children, family and friends.
I disagree with you on many levels:
Suicide is not a symptom of an illness.
It’s a human tragedy, and enormous loss, unlike any other.
Your constant need to describe all deeply challenging thoughts, moods, behavior as part of an illness is reductionist, in my opinion.
It leads people to think they need to seek psychiatric treatment… which leads to labels that are invalid; treatment with dangerous drugs… all of which is not scientific.
Don’t take my word for it, read what Thomas Insel, MD, Director of the National Institute of Mental Health has to say:
http://www.ahrp.org/cms/content/view/920/94/
Keep things in perspective, you say? The tragic death of a fellow human being due to hopelessness and despair is a deep and tragic loss for all of us.
Duane Sherry, M.S.
Retired Counselor
http://discoverandrecover.wordpress.com/warning
As an individual living with mental illness, the untimely and tragic death of Robin Williams has hit very close to home. There has been a wealth of outpouring and support from his fans and while that is heart-warming, it doesn
Julio,
1 in 10 adults in the U.S. are taking an antidepressant.
I’m not sure where you came up with the statistic that 80% are not receiving “treatment.” But if this were the case, it would imply that half of adults need to be on antidepressants.
You have to be careful with some of these statistics (ie, 80%… ) Consider the source – pharmaceutical companies and their front groups such as NAMI.
Duane
Hello Duane, This is a blog for people with bipolar disorder. The treatment of the illness as compared to depression is significantly different. I have never made any statement using an 80% statistic. I think you read this in the article I included in my Robin Williams post. I try to use statistics that come from my own 30+ years of experience with bipolar disorder or those of my coauthor Dr. John Preston who is a psychopharmacology expert. As noted in my last reply to one of your posts. I don’t feel this website is a good fit for your needs. I wish you luck in finding one that gives you the forum you desire. Thank you, Julie
Julie,
The 80% statistic was in response to *Julio*, (who cited it initially).
If you read his comment again, you will find it.
Apparently, you are such an “expert” that you take any challenge to your views as a threat. I find it remarkable – especially since the information you provide your readership is nothing short of propaganda.
Your intentions to help appear sincere; but you’re hurting people nonetheless. That’s upsetting. And depressing.
Don’t worry, I won’t be back to this site.
Duane
Thank you for your understanding Duane. I hope you find a site that shares your views and will be as open to your comments as you wish. There is an organization called Mind Freedom that I know will agree with your comments- and I support their right 100% to have opinions different from my own- as many of the members know. Please note that constructive criticism is always welcome on this site. I post all comments as you know. But… negative or aggressive comments will not be tolerated by myself or the bipolarhappens.com community. I am taking a stand against internet negativity and will no longer sit back and take insults against myself or those who are desperately trying to get better. Please note that your comments are dangerous to those who have to take medications in order to have a life and stay alive. Propaganda is a term used to describe information that has an secret motive- I certainly don’t have any secret motive except to share my story and offer advice to those who want to know what it’s really like to have this illness. THIS IS WHY THERE IS ZERO OUTSIDE ADVERTISING ON THIS SITE! Good luck and thank you again for your understanding. It is truly appreciated. Julie
Are you posting comments from readers?
It doesn’t appear so…
Duane
Hello Duane! Yes, I read and answer all posts, but this week go away from me. I try to do it daily, but missed it this time. Please keep posting. The site is ready by about 30k a month, so your comments truly matter! Thanks for asking! Julie
Julie,
Thank you for the response.
30,000 per month.
Congratulations; that’s a lot of readers.
Your stance on “bipolar disorder” concerns me.
For instance, you write (on this site):
Here are some facts about bipolar disorder:
– People with bipolar disorder can absolutely get better after a diagnosis! Most do.
“Bipolar disorder medications work. They have side effects and they can make you fat and upset, tired and cranky, but they work. They save lives in many ways.”… “Some people do fine with just a few medications. Everyone is different.”… “If you have bipolar disorder, keep trying until you find the right medication. It
Hello Duane, I appreciate your comments. I have spent as many years off meds as on meds and can say that though I wish I never had to see a medication again, I would be dead without them. We are all different- which is why taking a pro meds or no meds approach is a slippery slope. I agree 100% with your desire not to take meds and appreciate your taking the time to educate the public on how toxic these meds can be, but I must ask that you remain careful when it comes to generalized statements. I am alive and doing my work because of my management plan of course- but also because of the meds I taken off and on since 1995.
If there were another way for myself- I would have found it. This website is for people who are struggling- and those who struggle often find that meds help. My goal is to introduce meds in a way that people see they have choices in what meds they take and in the dosage- The least meds needed with the least side effects plus a strong management plan is key. This is not an anti medication website and never has been- it’s a measured way of looking at this intense illness- one that almost always when it’s raging needs medications. Also, I don’t post links to other sites- so it’s not personal if I don’t post the one in your email. Those who are interested in your work can find you by your name. I’m pro medication when needed. I have always been this way- even when I couldn’t find meds that worked for me! Right now, I’m not on any strong medication regime and it’s a struggle- so I’m ready to try something new. We are all different. Your opinion matters. Julie
I apologize for leaving so many comments, but need to say that I made mention to a book by Dr. Peter Breggin – on his website, on how to get off psychiatric drugs, which you erased. The book is entitled ‘Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal: A Guide for Prescribers, Therapists, Patients and Their Families’. It was not a live link, just a mention of the book – out of concern for safety, should anyone consider doing so.
Also, you say that it is not a good thing to be either ‘anti-med’ or ‘pro-med’. I think a reader would come to the conclusion that you are ‘pro-med’ – simply by reading your own comments…. Actually, your comments about “meds” (actually, they’re drugs), tend to swing – from explaining how valuable they are in treatment, to how much you hate them, but take them anyway; from how someone may need to up the dose, to how someone should try to take the smallest amount possible… Confusing, to say the least.
Duane
Hello Duane, I do not erase links. I simply don’t include any links to other websites from this blog unless they are from a guest blogger. I get too many requests to plug other websites and books and it became impossible for me to check out each link or read every book- though I always want to be supportive. I truly appreciate your comments, but I can see that you are not finding what you need from this blog.
I suggest that you find another website that better suits your needs.
I am pro meds- but am not happy that I have to take meds. It’s not swinging one way or another. No one wants to put a chemical in their body that has these kinds of side effects unless they have to. I do not erase any comments ever- which is why all of yours have been posted on this site each time you write. I am not here to persuade anyone to do something they are not comfortable doing- if someone wants to take meds, I support this- if someone refuses meds, I hope that my books help the person find a management plan that best reduces the symptoms of this illness. I have been on and off meds since my diagnosis. This is the reality of this illness. The more time I can be without meds, the better it is on my body- but I’m not willing to lose relationships and not be able to work which is what happens when I get sick. This is why I take meds as needed. Thank you for your comments and I hope you find a forum that better suits your needs. Julie
Julie,
Above, you wrote:
“… taking a pro meds or no meds approach is a slippery slope.”
And in this comment you wrote:
“I am pro meds… ”
What upsets me is that psychiatrists, NAMI, and other *advocates* continue to keep a myth alive (all pro-meds). I have nothing against you – you seem like a kind and caring person. It’s your message that I’m adamantly opposed to.
And I’m passionate about seeing the myth pass – the “lifelong, incurable brain disease” myth…. the one that costs so many lives. I would like to see it give way to to some *real* hope for people.
I thought you were open to debate. Apparently not. You want me to leave? Gone.
Duane
not sure why you are comparing drinking alcohol and having parkinsons to bipolar disorder. NO its not all the same. just put it all in one pile as no distinguishing and its all going to be ok right? no people who generalize to make everyone a victim like you are the problem but your making money off it
Once again, as I wrote in your last email- please refrain from non constructive comments. It also shows that you don’t know the publishing world well if you think authors are making a lot of money off their books! 😉
Julie
Recently, there have been some pretty aggressive posts towards the moderator of this site. It saddens me to see such a hostile approach about the efficacy of medications in patients with mental illness.
I am the first to recognize that there are medical professionals that over medicate or improperly prescribe medications. We definitely live in a time where pill popping is at an all time high. I also believe that there hasn
Thank you for your eloquent post. It’s a dilemma for all of us. NO ONE WANTS TO TAKE THESE MEDS! It’s not like it’s a choice for everyone. Some of us have to take them in order to have a life! I am open to all opinions on this website- Let’s keep this a place of great debate and understanding- just like your post! Thanks for your good advice! Julie
I should make a few clarifications on my post:
1) the pharmaceuticals my dad took were not for depression, but for pain and other symptoms associated with what we would today call autoimmune disease. He was a number of opiates and valium, and although I don’t have a list, he had 17 different prescriptions that our family doctor had prescribed. This is back in 1970, in a small town, where the patient never questioned a doctor and a doctor could be uneducated to the latest science and medicine.
2) I have friends who have taken medication for depression and numerous other disorders, and the meds have probably saved their lives; I was not referring to those medications when stating “he died of an illness brought about by depression and pharmaceutical drugs.”
3) I have worked with psychologists who have studied and conducted research on suicides; my father’s suicide was part of that research; he was ill, had an illness, that led to his suicide; he could hardly get out of bed; yes, he was depressed, caused by the many drugs he was taking for pain.
4) I agree with Duane Sherry that suicide is “a human tragedy, and enormous loss, unlike any other.” I only wish that as a professional, he had tempered his response to less aggressive language and had approached this conversation with compassion for Julie, especially knowing her story and why she’s writing this post. Whether she or I or anyone else calls depression an “illness,” “disease” (as they tag alcoholism), or a “disorder,” most are treated in some way, successfully at times, at others not, with drugs. Many people suffer with multiple afflictions, making diagnosis and treatment difficult at times.
I think anyone who has loved ones die of suicide (my dad and my son’s best friend), have seen the devastation the families endure. Often it takes far more years to cope with this loss than say from natural or even accidental death.
Thank you, Julio, for your post. This blog and others do offer hope. They open conversations like this. It is essential to be your own advocate, but when suffering from depression, sometimes the person’s unable to see a way out and want to be left alone. That is when outside support and advocacy from others is needed.
Thank you, Julie, for offering support, reaching out, and starting this conversation.
Julie,
Again, we disagree.
We always have a choice in life.
To say otherwise is disempowering, in my opinion.
The scientific literature shows much higher rates of full recovery for people who do not take psychiatric drugs, even for those diagnosed with “schizophrenia.”. I think they may have a lace, as a last resort, for a very short period of time, for a few people. But I think they are routinely prescribed as “treatment” for a “chemical brain imbalance” – which has yet to show any bio-markers for.
I find it disheartening that this myth continues, leaving people feeling helpless, while the root causes of “mental illness: continue to go undressed – namely the need to overcome trauma; along with the need to address physical conditions – ranging from hormonal, thyroid, nutritional, etc… often the culprits, root causes.
Unfortunately, many of the so-called “advocates” as well as mental health professionals, including psychiatrists remain in the dark about these issues.
Best,
Duane
Hello Julie,
You are courageous to post this website for the public. It takes strength to admit we need help! I have been a part of a 12 step program for 26 years and our guidelines are very clear that we are not professionals and should never tell anyone what direction to take to deal with issues!
We share our experience strength and hope with others and that is all! If something I am doing in my own life helps you…God Bless you! The gift of our support group is that we live with others who suffer from illnesses that effect everyone who loves or lives with them. We learn one day at a time, to let go of their issues and let them find the help they need to live and recovery with the help of their own program, friends and support.
I have learned so much from the sharing of others living with substance abusers and alcoholics. The best lesson learned was that my loved ones suffer from a disease that they did not chose but it chose them. Many drug abusers are just self medicating for depression and bipolar disorders.
As a group we learn that thru awareness and acceptance we can chose to live with a person struggling with an illness or not. That is our choice but we also discover that we have contributed to the mess with our own negative behavior and reactions.
Compassion for those who struggle with illness of any kind does not stop me from living joyous and free! I took vows to stay together thru ” sickness and in health” so that includes mental challenges as well.
Thank you for this site that was shared with me. I promise to learn from all of you! Not so I can let you decide what is best for me but so you can share your strength and hope for the future with me.
God Bless you!
Denise