How do you deal with change in your friendships?
Changes in friendships are inevitable, especially as we get older. I went through the wave of changes when my friends started having kids. I never wanted children, but most of my friends did. I saw them less once the kids were born- but now that the kids are getting older, I see these friends more! When friends get into a GOOD relationship, you see them less. It’s natural.
When it’s a BAD relationship, you talk to them more because they want to vent.
It can be hard to take if you’re feeling left out.. because the person naturally wants to spend time with their new love and simply can’t have the same time for you as they had in the past.
It has happened to me a lot. I miss the time with friends when they get into a relationship or have a baby. And yet when I’m in a relationship, I spend less time with friends as well. I want to be the kind of friend who moves with change. I don’t want to fight change. My brain does. My brain wants everyone to be on call for me! HEHE. It’s hard work to be a good friend. I work on it constantly.
How are your friendships?
Julie
I am currently taking Lomictal and feel really slowed down
Hello Sue! That is not a common side effect of lamictal, but our bodies are so different that anything is possible. Are you on any other meds? What Was the cause of your manic episode? These are the common questions I would ask first before answering the question about meds and bipolar one. There is no question that the medication dilemma is different with bipolar one than bipolar two. Because those of us with bipolar two don’t get full blown mania with psychosis, we can mess around with our meds more. If you had a full blown episode, there is a chance you will have another. I always suggest that people with bipolar one who have had destructive full blown episodes be on some kind of anti mania drug. The goal is to find one that works with the least amount of side effects. As you know from my books, my treatment plan works with or without medications. I used the Health Cards for many years when I wasn’t able to tolerate meds. Then my body changed and I was able to tolerate Lamictal. Then my body changed and for now, I’m not on daily meds- but I manage this illness every minute of the day and most people don’t want to or can’t do this. What feels right to you? If your episode were bad enough to wreck parts of your life, then preventative meds are something to consider. I would also use the Health Cards to catch episodes early and hopefully prevent them from going full blown. It’s always a balancing act. If I could take a medication without having severe side effects, I would. Our bodies change as we get older- this is good news if there are meds you tried in the past that didn’t work- they might work now. To be blunt, most people with bipolar one need a mania safety net- and meds offer the best net. Julie
Hello Julie, Thanks for your thoughts. I also take 60 MG of organic Lithium per day and a homeopathic remedy as well. My manic episode was caused by a sudden shift in sleep to 5-5 hours a night and subsequent mania. I don’t know what you would classify as “anti mania” drug. I do not tolerate antipsychotic medication well. I really hope I can manage my illness with the least amount of medication possible.
Thanks, Sue
Hi Julie,
I’ve have been diagnosed as being on the bipolar spectrum (still not entirely certain what that ACTUALLY means) with “recurrent episodes of hypomania” “partially treated depressive symptoms” and complex PTSD.
The friendship issue is something I have struggled with for as long as I can remember. For most of my life I have avoided engaging in any significant friendships but on the three occasions that I have attempted it, it has gone very wrong and hurt like hell. I am desperately trying to save my third friendship after a particularly bad episode. Is this even possible? My friend doesn’t really believe in mental “illnesses” so trying to explain what happened doesn’t seem to be an option, which is fine because I’m not looking to make excuses for my behaviour. I am 37 years old and I would really like to hold on to what was an amazingly good friendship for three years. Or is the kinder option to let go and only attempt friendships again once I’ve learned more and fixed myself so that I do not hurt others? Kind regards and thank you for even reading this. Cherie