What do people who are in a bipolar disorder dysphoric manic episode really think? I wrote a blog for BP Magazine on this topic based on my own dysphoric manic thoughts and the stories I’ve heard for many years about how dysphoric mania turns us into people no one can recognize.
A bit of background- there are two levels of mania- HYPOMANIA and FULL BLOWN MANIA. Bipolar one has hypomania and full blown mania. Bipolar two has hypomania. There are two sides to the mania coin: euphoric mania and dysphoric mania.
EUPHORIC MANIA- WOO HOO!
Most of us know euphoric mania- active,upbeat, positive goal oriented, inclusive, full of ourselves, but not menacing, artistic, bright and filled with energy that often fills a room. Sleep isn’t needed or wanted. Many people love euphoric mania and won’t take meds because it means losing this incredibly, albeit dangerous body and mind sensation.
DYSPHORIC MANIA- SCREW YOU!
Then there is a icky, awful, super dangerous and downright odd mania: dysphoric mania. This mania has the same energy level as euphoria, but it’s a negative depressed energy. This mania is also called mixed mania because the energy is high and the mood is low. A person is goal driven in a nasty way- “I will make you pay for what you did for me last year!” The upbeat turns into depressed negativity. It’s mean and menacing with a lot of facial changes and beady eyes filled with adrenaline and unkindness. Our bodies are PAINFUL and we want to GET OUT of where we are because we are so uncomfortable. We have no reasoning ability and eventually the behavior can become violent, especially in terms of road rage and destroying things. Sleep isn’t needed or wanted. Dysphoric mania is never fun.
My BP Magazine for Bipolar blog takes you into our minds when we are in a dysphoric manic episode. I would LOVE to hear from people who have been on the inside of this mania and those who have watched with horror as this mania takes over.
My book Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder has a plan to manage this mania. It takes work, but we can get out of this nasty stuff if we use prevention techniques.
Oh man, dysphoric mania sucks!
Click here to read my Bp Magazine blog: Letter from a Manic Person. I’d love to know what you think and if you have experienced dysphoric mania yourself or as a family member.
Julie
I’m so glad you help me understand that there are 2 types of mania, I had no idea, I deal with both,on the one side I just try to remain humble by being thankful and on the other I try to do what ever it takes to not get angry. One of the best things I have done (to God be the glory) is to stay away from all caffeine,even in chocolate (talk about hard). You see, I have found that I still get angry but I can control it very easily if I haven’t had any caffeine.And if I have had caffeine my anger is uncontrollable (it’s like the caffeine escalates the anger,sorta like the incredible hulk or something. Any way, I have read some of your books, I don’t remember if I read the one you mentioned in this article, and I will. Thanks again.
Glen, I have similar problems with caffeine.
I agree Julie. Dysphoric Mania sucks! The most puzzling part of this illness is that while external circumstamces can sometimes be a trigger for one of our mood states it’s clear to me that many times our change in mood can seemingly have nothing to with our environment. Nothing has changed in our world and suddenly thoughts of possitive accomplidhment become paranoid nuggets filled with thoughts of revenge and ill will. It makes me think; who am I really?!
My wife and I were discussing this exact issue yesterday. One of the most difficult issues seems to be subtle shifts in mood, that happen so gradually that it’s almost impossible to notice until it reaches a threshold intensity. This makes sense, because we all have ups and downs throughout the day, even slight agitation and irritability, like after getting a parking ticket.
The other challenge with mild spectrum dysphoric hypomania, like my wife experiences, is that she seems to be able to find events in her day that can explain her mood, so it’s misinterpreted as ‘normal’ and doesn’t need treatment. At least this has been the struggle for us, up till recently.
Recently, motivated by another episode of moderate-severe depression, and alot of soul searching, my wife has started to become more self-aware, finally. In fact, today was the first time she agreed to post a message to our blog. Please pop by and leave a brief comment – I know it will help keep up her momentum towards acceptance. THANKS
Im going to write more about my experiences with dysphoric mania in the future, but ill give you a glimpse. The most recent one landed me in an insanity prison ward in mallorca with self inlnflicted claw marks upon my face, tied down to a bed, heavilly sedated in a white room and a staff that “no habla ingles” they where going to keep me for a while they said, and i couldnt remember what had brought me there, i was on an family vacation. I had been having fun i thought in the beginning, treating my fiance and son to my uncontrollable self, constantly on, talkinging to strangers and so on.
But i remember all of the smiles turning to frowns, and how slowly everything turned against me, even me.
This feeling of doom and that everything was falling appart in me grew and grew, i couldnt drink it away or take any drugs.
I started avoiding my family, strangers came up to me and knew me but i couldnt remember them, i was so confused.
Suicide seemed like the right thing to do, this was only escalating and i had nothing in me to lean on, everything in me was being torn away when i needed it. i hallucinated that things around me where fallaing appart also and started screaming. Eventually i was arrested and put down, but i have a lot to say about dysphoric manias and will, i know what to look out for, how to handle straight up “belief” in state of paranoia and so on…
I love your posts. I don’t want to put your email up here as it will lead to a lot of spam. Do you have a website or blog that people can visit? I can also post your Facebook page. Julie
I’m going through dysphoric mania right now. This was the first I’d heard of it. I thought I was depressed, have had self-harm and suicidal thoughts, want to run away, urges and intrusive thoughts, lots of thoughts of bad things. But racing thoughts too.
Hello Kathleen,
That certainly sounds like dysphoric mania. It is so destructive. The best news I can share is that it does end eventually. Julie