I have always liked the words greatness, champion and hard worker. I apply those to bipolar disorder management. I like to see myself as a champion. I certainly hope for greatness. To me these words mean that I simply keep going no matter what bipolar disorder throws at me. Sometimes I limp- fall down, hurt myself and dont’ want to go forward. I know that is what bipolar disorder wants. I remember coming out of some manic episodes in the past and feeling that I would never recover from what I did while I was manic. But I recovered. I remember being so suicidal that I could hardly move because of fear I would do something I regretted. When I realized that I could make it through anything, that’s when I started to write my books. You may not know this, but I wrote all of my books while depressed. I am sure you can understand that I wasn’t exactly sitting down to write when the hypomania decided to show up.
How are things for you today? Maybe you just got out of the hospital, did something stupid while you were manic, said something awful to someone you love, thought of killing yourself or spent money you didn’t have.
I’ve been there! I’ve done that! My idea of a champion is someone who makes it through bipolar situations and then finds a way to keep going so that they can create a plan for the future- a much better future.
Julie
All too often people relate words such as greatness to some great feat that is in the paper, honored by awards or earning amounts of money. I am guilty of that myself. I beat myself up comparing myself to others that manage to work full time, be great parents, create wonderful things and seem to keep it all together. I yearn to be one of those people and am thus blinded to what you may very well call greatness. Talk about surprises out of manic episodes – I got pregnant (thank goodness with my husband’s child). That took a lot of work to come to terms with particularly with my husband who felt I had made a life decision by default. But we came through it. I guess by your definition the fact that I still have my best friend from school and haven’t alienated any of my family with my symptoms would be a great thing. I am caught between all my ambition and reality and for me it is usually a rock and a hard place. I feel as though I should be able to take this monster that is Bipolar Disorder in stride and my husband would rather ignore it’s existance. If I could adopt your theory on Greatness and Champion I may very well be able to get a lot further and I know my therapist and prescriber would be pleased.
Thanks for the perspective
– Melissa –
How or is it possible to get in touch with you Julie?
I’m about as desperate and hopeless as you can get. No one gets it. Think I should just get over it
take a walk get out of bed. My brain doesn’t work that way in a downward spiral. It’s like someone switched my brain off. I have to ride it out and hope I don’t do something stupid which yes I have. I’m on the verge of loosing my kids due to this monster. Then I know for sure I have nothing to live for. I need help and no meds have worked.
I have a list a mile long of meds I’ve tried. Too many side affects or they flip me into a manic episode which was great at first then the agitation became too much. I’m lost and don’t know what to do. I have no family support. I can’t deal with this much longer.
Thanks.
To me greatness is setting a goal and reaching it. Earlier this I informed the volunteer ccordinator of an organization that I’m involved in that I wanted to put in a hundred hours this year. This past Thursday I surpassed that mark. The feeling of reaching the goal is great.
I missed your August and September issues of the newsletter. How can I find them?
My daughter does not have a computer, but she really appreciates what you write. Thanks a million!!
Hi Carol,
I just re- created my bipolarhappens.com webite with a lot of free and informative information- that is a good site to send for your daughter. We are redoing the newsletter part of the website. We don’t have a specific newsletter per month- we usually do one and sometimes two. I want them to be available on the new site soon and will post it on the site- the topics for August and September will be there as well. Julie
Right now, my daughter is pushing through a tough bipolar time. She is a champion. Every thing she’s done today, including getting out of bed makes her a champion. But that’s easy for me to say and hard for her to believe, I’m sure. Thanks for pointing it out Julie and reminding the readers. You other posters and my daughter, and Julie, Keep on Truck’n!!!
All right! Getting out of bed when you’re depressed is the equivalent of running a few miles- that is how hard it can be- and that is why it’s such an accomplishment! juulie