In the past, I was definitely a self centered, whiny, sad and complaining person. I HONESTLY didn’t know this could be a part of depression. I always thought depression was sadness and crying. Since my diagnosis in 1995, I’ve studied all forms of depression and was surprised to see that many people with depression can be just downright nasty and negative!
My former self included.
When I found this out- I wrote down all of my negative behavior and one by one changed it- the depression still brings it on. But I know how to counteract. When I get restless and unhappy, people drive me crazy and I feel like punching something. When I’m negative and nasty, no table in a restaurant is ever good enough for me and people are always happier than I am.
When I’m negative and nasty, nothing is right, so I make sure everything is wrong around me by being mean to others and BORING them with my self centered complaining.
Guess what. I don’t do it anymore. When I hear it in my head and my body wants to react, I stop myself from letting it get out. It took a few years to get good at it, but I sure do have happier friends and family.
I’m happier myself. I was embarrassed a lot. I knew that negative person wasn’t me. It was and still is depression.
Julie
