I just received a great blog comment, so I will answer it here!
Just curious, Julie….I could be wrong as I’m just getting acquainted with you after hearing you speak recently, but in what I’ve read so far in your website/newsletter/blog writing, there’s a conspicuous absence of any sense of spiritual help for your bipolar issues. Is that a purposeful thing? Does faith of some kind have a place in the life of a bipolar person?
WriteWoman
Hi WW.
This is a great question. I’ve done a few newsletters on it. I know that many people find huge comfort, support and information from their spiritual community. I also know that some, like msyelf are not as connected to a group spiritually. I can also say that I’m not super spiritual individually. This is not from choice. I used to be very spiritual – in that I believed that there was a force that watched out for us and wanted good in the world.
My friends tend to have strong faith in this ‘power’ whether they are Christian, Hindu or more new age. I wish I were more like my friends! I think that over 13 years of constant depression have changed me in many ways. I had a few experiences that shook my beliefs! I do find that I’m getting back to my old self. As my bipolar gets better and better, I have more room for some kind of faith.
Having spiritual friends helps me a lot- they tell me I will be more open like I used to be in the past!
There is no question that the people I know with bipolar disorder are much more hopeful if they are spiritual. My friend Gayathri, who has been seriously depressed for most of her life meditates every day as does my friend Janea. My friend John D. regularly talks with what he calls God. He belives in Jesus as well- but doesn’t have a demonation. Others have a very private spirituality! Non of my friends are wiccan!
In the states, it’s so common to hear people say that things happen for a reason. This leads to many questions for those of us who have bipolar! I do have a strong belief, though I am not sure I would call it spiritual- I belive that while things may not happen for a reason, I do feel that we can find meaning in all things that happen. Maybe that is my form of spirituality!
Please feel free to add comments about your spirituality to this blog. I will ask my friends with bipolar disorder their views on spirituality and post them here!
Thanks for your question,
Julie
The point is not whether something happens for a reason, or according to man’s reason.
The point is that we need to get out of ourselves to see that with or without BPD, we have very little power over that which truly matters.
So many of us express religiosity in manic episodes. And all are faithless in depressions.
I often wonder if God is trying to get our attention, and that perhaps this is the BPD gift, if we could only hear Him
Because you have been through so much depression, anxiety and mania you have become “angry” and maybe that is not the right word, but the only word that I can think of, at God and have lost faith.. when in actuality it is with Jesus that we find eternal life. Bipolar is a real disease and in the bible many people had it even though that is not that specific name they used. Also many people have many other extremely disabiling diseases and it is in christ that we can find life. He did die for us on the cross and the more anchored you are in your spirituality, as you call it, the less overwhelming any disease becomes. I am not saying not to not take care of yourself but do not blame any illness on another, especially your higher power. It is often said that God does not give us more than we can handle and with some people it may seem he gives more than you would think is “fair”.. but does anyone really know anyone else’s pain or trauma… There is a God and the more you believe the less overwhelming life and your illness can be… take it from one who was diagnosed with BP 20 years ago, although I still struggle, I am good in God.
Hi Julie,
I am writing my first book regarding the diagnosis of Bipolar and the journey to my spiritual awakening. I feel that if I didn’t have Bipolar, I probably wouldn’t have been a seeker of ancient wisdom. I have found a beautiful way to live and through my spirituality I have found a new peace from my Bipolar. I meditate daily, I spend time outside in the garden and I’m more aware of the “present” and living in the moment. This definitely doesn’t make my bipolar go away or lessen its effects, but it does give me support when I feel the world crashing down around me. I love your blog and your website…I bought your health cards several years ago and found them very helpful. You give me the strength to keep going on my book project. I finally ready to tell my story.
Rebecca
About two years ago, when I was feeling particularly weepy, I talked to a priest. He said, “God loves bipolar people. God loves depressed people.” That made a difference for me. I had felt and believed that I had to be more glad, grateful, happy, less self-focused, etc. but no matter what I tried, I still felt moody and depressed. After I realized that God loves me just the way I am, and that I’m no better or worse than anybody else, I felt better. I’m less worried about pleasing God by imagining that I have to be better or different. Self-respect starts with believing that I am a worthwhile human being, in spite of my faults and imperfections.
About two years ago, when I was feeling particularly weepy, I talked to a priest. He said, “God loves bipolar people. God loves depressed people.” That made a difference for me. I had felt and believed that I had to be more glad, grateful, happy, less self-focused, etc. but no matter what I tried, I still felt moody and depressed–and not good enough or not lovable enough. After I realized/began to believe that God loves me just the way I am, and that I’m no better or worse than anybody else, I felt better. I’m less worried about pleasing God by imagining that I have to be better than I am or different. Having difficult days with less than perfect outcomes is okay. Self-respect starts with believing that I am a worthwhile human being, in spite of my faults and imperfections.
Julie, I’ve read your books and passed them on to all of my crazy friends.(-: We all love them. And we are all Christians; the seriously devoted to Jesus kind. We couldn’t deal as effectively with this monster without knowing Who we know. You have been a great help to all of us and we pray for your very best and the continued ability to pass along your wisdom to those who are hurting. You’re great and we love you! Judie Patterson
Dear Julie:
I converted to Islam about 23 years ago after running around various religions and even studying them at University.
The dilemma between what is a mystical state and what is mania is truly a fascinating question. I think I’ve had both…and i would now say that a good way to discern the difference is by the effect they have on your own life and that of others.
God is always loving, just, beautiful etc etc whereas mania and craziness isn’t and can be very destructive. Depression feels like hell but if we can reach out to a higher power in that state then we can always have hope and that in itself lets a little chink of light into the darkness…
I could go on and on.
Anyways, thanks so much. I know that God is with you and the good work you do.
Wow. All I can say is that if I did not have the hope of eternal life in Christ Jesus that I probably would have lost my mind completely a long time ago. He’s often the only One who keeps me from killing myself with this bipolar disorder. I know that no matter what happens hear there will come a time when everything is perfect and nothing will hurt anymore. I can hardly wait for that place, but I will.
A Birth Certificate shows that we were born
A Death Certificate shows that we died
Pictures show that we lived!
Have a seat. Relax . . ..
And read this slowly.
I Believe…
That just because two people argue,
It doesn’t mean they don’t love each other.
And just because they don’t argue,
It doesn’t mean they do love each other.
I Believe…
That we don’t have to change friends if
We understand that friends change.
I Believe….
That no matter how good a friend is,
they’re going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.
I Believe…
That true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I Believe…
That you can do something in an instant
That will give you heartache for life.
I Believe….
That it’s taking me a long time
To become the person I want to be.
I Believe…
That you should always leave loved ones with
Loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I Believe….
That you can keep going long after you think you can’t.
I Believe….
That we are responsible for what
We do, no matter how we feel.
I Believe…
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I Believe…
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs
to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I Believe….
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I Believe….
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down
will be the ones to help you get back up.
I Believe…
That sometimes when I’m angry
I have the right to be angry,
But that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
I Believe….
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had
And what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many
birthdays you’ve celebrated.
I Believe….
That it isn’t always enough,
to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I Believe…
That no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I Believe….
That our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
But, we are responsible for who we become.
I Believe…
That you shouldn’t be so eager to find
Out a secret. It could change your life Forever.
I Believe….
Two people can look at the exact same
Thing and see something totally different.
I Believe…
That your life can be changed in a matter of
Hours by people who don’t even know you.
I Believe…
That even when you think you have no more to give,
When a friend cries out to you –
you will find the strength to help.
I Believe…
That credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.
I Believe…
That the people you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.
I Believe…
That you should send this to
all of the people that you believe in, I just did.
The happiest of people don’t necessarily
have the best of everything;
They just make the most of everything they have.
Julie, I am going to write this, as if we were all joining the military today. Like a soldier in a physical war, joining in combat…only this war, is a spiritual warfare…It is the war between the spirit and the flesh, (which the mind is the biggest battle field of all!)
We all have fallen short of the glory of God in one way or another, which makes us all feel so much guilt and terrible shame. But God, through his son, the Lord Jesus Christ, has saved us from that…so through forgivness and redemption, we are in a right standing with him…(if you will) in a beautiful relationship with our heavenly Father. We are no longer enemies of God but recieve his love, freely. Though,like in a military war, we enter a spiritual warfare for THE TRUTH…for the truth really does set us all free!
That’s what you have been trying to do, also Julie. Is to tell the truth to help others who are suffering from bipolar illness. Although, you are so strong with so many gifts and talents and write and give of your entire self, in love…I believe, you need God’s supernatural love to fight the good fight of faith ~ it is so much easier and JOYful that way. Then, you are on the winning side of this….spiritual war…You then, have entered into God the Father’s domain and then come out the big guns!!!
When we accept that Jesus died for our sin and humble ourselves…the enemy of this world really tries to go to war on us…because he is the opposite of love and faith…he comes to kill, steal and destoy mind, body and spirit…that means our faith and our hope…but mostly our LOVE~~~because you know as well as I do…that love is all there really is…
Julie, even if what I say…seems to be a fallacy to some…the world as it is…with or without God, is fading away…the water supply…the depleted soil…911…Haiti…must I go on…I think not. It is unfortunetly before our eyes, everyday in the newspaper, the media…and on it goes…
The enemy of God is going to be all over you because you have the boldness to come and step out in faith with ways of helping, not only yourself, but sooooooooooo many others. The war is on…please accept God’s forgiveness…it is a free gift! All you have to do…is accept Him. Really, in this life, isn’t that all anyone really wants?…is to be accepted…and not to be left isolated and alone…
God loves you, so much! He came to save people…not the world. “Be in this world and not of it” “I am the truth the life and the way”…”I will never leave you or forsake you…”…”your picture is tatooted on my palm”… “I love you with an everlasting love..”
I don’t know about anybody else but no one in this world loves me like that…Jesus was the living sacrifice to “Set Us Free from the bondage of sin….bondage…we can break out anytime with His help….Yeahhhhhh!!!
“Who the Son sets free, is free indeed.”
I write this In God’s loving grace. Linda
And so here we are….Muslim, Protestant, Catholic, Baha’i (me) and others, each with our own belief systems and points of view. One way or another we are all affected by bipolar illness. I don’t have it, but my older brother died from it. Now one of my daughters has it. Their suffering was/is intense. Living in the “shadow” of this illness all my life (I am nearly 70), I have questions about the relationship of faith and spirituality to mental illness.
Spirituality (to me) is partly about being able to make choices and decisions in one
Kay – Thank you so much for writing these words.
I have been seeking inspiration from someone with experience of this disorder through a spiritual context and it has taken some time to hit upon something that resonates.
I do not have a strong religious background but through experiential work, addressing shame, forgiveness of self and others, and verification of core beliefs I have found myself to be on a spiritual path. Quite exciting.
I am dealing with acute depression currently, negative thinking and strong and consistent griping physical symptom. Having learned ways to manage this and practicing them I have found unexpected results.
For example, I have a new resonation with my heart – I had never really understood when people have said “listen to your heart” – I would only ever feel it.
I have learned the value of crying, and ways to ensure it is a soothing and clearing experience – rather than just an exhausting or self pitying mode to go into. This has had awesome results. With a willingness to enter into tears without engaging in to too much of a narrative or repetition of history – I find myself usually with only a couple of thoughts that lead me in and I can then untether. I then choose to feed my attention in to my heart space whilst allowing tears – and a bit like being sick – breathing them to come through.
Key things are to breathe through and not freeze the breath when you have come to the end of an outgoing cry – but to refill the balloon! and let more come – I think that stopping the breath can encourage the mind to take over which then means it cuts of the flow to deeper tears – the ones where you don’t recognise your own voice!!
the most exciting part for me is that I now have a counter voice to the onslaught of negative thinking, through this engagement with my heart. I sometimes get the sense that it is like asking a really wise elder the more profound questions. The voice is gentle and sourcing of something that I had forgotten was in there and I intend to respect it and call on it.
So I have found these things to encourage a growing of faith. Having faith is not just telling yourself “have faith” I don’t believe that can get me far. I think faith is a practice perhaps, or maybe faith is “love in action”. But certainly by engaging with these techniques to find out more of what is underneath the nasty symptoms and finding the ‘me’ underneath is now nurturing a stronger core in me A core that although often withered by the end of a days work and lots of shocks and strain, can be restored again with my work and input.
I would love to hear more of your words, I am keen to find more fellow warriors of the storm and stalkers of the mind.
This is a very long post – thank you for inspiring me. I have for the past week been contemplating setting up my own blog site – and I think this abundance of writing may have helped me get to sharing more about my experience and offering hope absolute.
To all – thank you if you’ve read this far – I hope that you are allowing yourself to come through the horrendous challenges that BPD offers us. It seems so unfair but it is as it is, and that really can be okay.
much love
Emily May
This is not about the topic of this site….rather about the use of the area to post. I wrote something here to add to the conversation and, by mistake, hit the backspace key. It took me out of the site, of course, and when I came back, everything I wrote had disappeared. This is to remind me (and suggest to to others) to compose on a blank document and then cut/paste to the site when it is ready to go. I lost some time and effort there that cannot be regained.
Hi Kay, this is so true. It has happened to me so many times. Especially if I am applying for something online.
When I am posting a blog- I copy and paste my contents regularly. I agree that it’s best to just write it in a file somewhere.
It’s hard enough to get your ideas in writing- and then they are gone!
I hope you will repost. I love the comments here. Spirituality is one of the most popular posts. I find that I can contemplate spiritual things when I’m stable- but it’s almost impossible when I’m depressed. What does this mean chemically? I always wonder if we have spiritual chemicals.
Thanks for posting, Julie
Thanks for your words of encouragement. I do have more to share, but will come back another day. Just saw this; it’s past bedtime….
Did it! I
I’ve always been more scientifically inclined even when I was a kid (before the teenage years brought about my introduction to the bipolar roller-coaster). I used to flatly reject anything to do with spirituality as non-sense ( I don’t just mean god, I mean anything including meditation, etc). As life got more and more complicated (in large part due to undiagnosed BP) I began to have doubts but “faith” still didn’t sit right with me (though questions crept in). My diagnosis came not too long after taking a class in college on Buddhism and what I learn in that class seemed to click… it didn’t require a “faith” in a being (that never worked for me… to many contradictions) but instead showed the path one could explore to a greater self-awareness. It’s been a number of years since then but I could say that “spirituality” now plays a role in my life (not necessarily a central one). I still can not and will most likely never be “comfortable” with the concept of god (its too irrational and simplistic for me… though I am more tolerant now) but I also realize the benefits of meditation and calm observation (definitely a challenge, especially with BP)… if what troubles us is the thoughts that arise, without our control from our troubled minds then meditation provides me with a tool to gain insight into that mind and to mitigate (if not nullify) the effects that some of those thoughts have on my everyday. Looking back over what I’ve written I realize that what I had prior to my diagnosis was a sort of “faith” in science (which is not very scientific) and my world view at the time… having that get flipped on its head by BP was in a small way a blessing as it made me realize that things are not always as they seem and that I shouldn’t always believe what I think/feel (especially not at any one given moment)…. so in a way I lost what little faith I had but I did gain a sense of spirituality 🙂