I struggle with the word ‘unfair.’ Some of my friends suggest that I shouldn’t use the word as it’s pointless to all this illness unfair. Other say- oh yes Julie- use the word unfair because it is unfair that people with bipolar disorder and those who love us have to struggle so much!
I am going to use the word UNFAIR today! I was fine for three days. Normal- with normal thoughts and behaviors. Then I woke up with IT. Nothing changed in the past few days- but IT is here. Ok. I can hear what my brain is saying- what is the point of work? It’s just a bunch of writing and email and getting nowhere!
What is the point of anything really- you’re not very happy and your life is pretty boring.
I could go on! I am sure you can add plenty to this list.
I can’t and won’t listen. It’s an illness. So I’m doing my ‘pointless’ email and writing my ‘pointless’ books – and I have to know and believe that of course it’s not pointless. It wasn’t pointless yesterday- and will probably be fine tomorrow. My goal today is to just keep going until it goes away! It’s an illness.
It is unfair to have to deal with all those thoughts. But the world is not pointless – I have gained so much from hearing you speak and reading your books. I’m no longer alone with this jumble of feelings and symptoms. I’m glad you are “thinking like an athelete” and persevering. It will be okay.
Thanks so much for being you-
– Melissa –
Hey, Julie, your work is very worthwhile and makes such a difference in the lives of so many people! When I first heard you talk (the video on Britney Spears), it was as though you’d visited me and knew my every nuance. Wow! You also pointed out some things about bipolar disorder that I had never heard before, and they made me more aware of what I have to deal with daily. Your books gave me the courage to tell my supervisors that there are certain situations that are triggers for me, that I HAVE tried to work through it, but that it takes so much out of me that it’s just not worth it to try. At least I can recognize a trigger beforehand!
So, dear one, know that dwelling on the bipolar conversation in your head IS pointless, but that your life work is very worthwhile!
Sandra
hi Guys, thank you so much. The stuff I write is what keeps me going when I get sick. I remember what I write on the blog and then apply it to myself when I go way down and too up! I have learned that these episodes don’t last forever. Over the years I’ve been able to see the effects of my work on readers and that makes me proud to be a writer. I always try to be nice to myself when I get sick.
Your support is appreciated!
Julie