Suicidal thoughts are normal when you have bipolar disorder.
I remember driving one day when I was very stressed and unhappy. I was on a busy road and saw a red light up ahead. My mind said, “Julie, you can just run that red light and a car will hit you and all will be taken care of!” These thoughts used to scare me a lot. I now know they’re a response to stress. When I told my friend Laney this story she said, “Well, your brain thought is was helping!”
So true. These thoughts are not real. They are manufactured by a bipolar brain. Don’t believe them.
If you are suicidal right now, you have options other than killing yourself.
#1 Say to yourself: I have bipolar disorder and suicidal thoughts are normal. Say it over and over again until you get help.
#2 Call anyone and do anything to get help and be honest when you talk to someone. “I’m suicidal and I need help.” You can walk directly to an ER and do this. Crisis lines are there to help. They know what they are doing. Call a friend. Do ANYTHING. This is a health problem and not a personal problem. If you were hit by a car- you would call someone!
#3 If you have to, stay in the hosptial to protect yourself from bipolar disorder. It’s a safe place. You’re a strong person if you go to the hospital. Bipolar disorder is the problem- not you.
#4 Don’t worry if you’re embarrassed. Better embarrassed than no longer on the planet. Bipolar disorder has embarrassed me a million times. And will probable do it many more times in the future.
When I’m suicidal, it’s always a sign that my meds are not working or that an event has happened to send me over the edge. I try to focus on fixing those things instead of listening to the suicidal thoughts. These suicidal thoughts are often the result of something I can definitely change. Once it is changed, I can get back to baseline.
If you kill yourself over an event, it’s not effective. It’s more effective to deal with the situation or leave it completely.
There are definitely situations where the bipolar is 100% responsible for the suicidal thoughts. This is when nothing has happened and there is no reason you should be so miserable. These suicidal thoughts have to be taken very seriously as your brain is really malfunctioning. This is when medications can be life saving.
Keeping yourself alive is all that matters when you’re suicidal. If you can’t do this yourself-turn yourself over to someone who can.
Remember: No one stays suicidal all of the time. It ends.
If you had brain cancer you would ask for help with ease. Asking for help with suicidal bipolar thoughts is no different.
Julie
PS: I had my first suicidal episode at 19. I am now 49. It can be managed.
I think about this sometimes. I know it is just my thoughts playing tricks on me. I have to remind myself that this too shall pass and better days are ahead.
I’ve tried everything but nothing works, even talking to myself. I’m at the end of my rope, truly. I have a plan & a date set for soon. I cannot subject myself to another horrid winter with debilitating depression & fighting for months with suicidal thoughts. I’ve had enough! My thought is: SOMEONE has to be a “statistic”; why not me?
here is my long response- I love the other comment that was left as well- I hope this is helping you! you are loved and supported by people who don’t know you, but we do know the illness:
Hi,
I just got your comment. I am going to say to you what I say to myself when I get suicidal= that
Hey Julie!
Had to write in on this. I just came from the memorial of my best friend’s brother. He committed suicide in March. The fallout has been horrific. I’ve learned a great deal seeing what his family is going through. When I become suicidal I hope to remember these lessons I am learning. There is no one left untouched or unscathed by this tragedy.
– Melissa –
What if you don’t feel you can pay for it and that causes more anxiety? I am having a hard time concentrating right now and can not think of anything but money.
Hi, I need some advice, my father-in-law has been diagnosed with Bipolar 1 and 2, don’t know what that means. Today he is having severe suicidal thoughts, we are over a 1000km away from him, my mother-in-law called us and told us he has written a letter of what they must do if he dies, and keeps his revolver with him at all times. We are all stressed out because he admitted of thinking of suicide a lot the past few weeks. What can one tell him, what can we talk about, to get his mind off all the thoughts???