Bipolar Disorder Help
One thing I’ve learned since my diagnosis in 1995 is that people simply don’t know what to do when faced with someone who struggles with bipolar disorder. This includes the people who love you very much.
Helping others isn’t innate for most people. This is certainly true when it comes to bipolar disorder!
The solution? Teach others exactly what you need. Tell them when you’re well exactly what they can do to help when you’re ill – and they won’t feel so helpless!
How to Ask for Help
Everyone in my life knows about my daily struggles with bipolar disorder.
It’s tough to let people know you are vulnerable and need their help, but if you let them know exactly how they can help you, it’s not such a burden to them.
Have you asked for help from friends and family lately?
Do you need to share with someone about how this illness affects your life?
I recently met a new friend who just happened to have bipolar disorder. What a difference it makes to be able to talk with her. It is such a comfort to say, “I’m sick today,” and know that she understands. She manages the illness with lithium, so she is a good example for me, especially when my lithium is making me ill. On the other side, I have some people in my life who don’t want to help when I’m sick. I have to respect that and let them have their own lives.
When I do meet someone who wants to help, I give them specific tools they can use when they see that I’m down or hypomanic. For example, everyone knows that I isolate myself when depressed. If they don’t hear from me for awhile, it’s a sign I’m depressed. They know that getting me out of the house is the answer. I’ve told them this specifically.
Many think that leaving me alone is the best thing as they don’t want to bother me. I had to tell them exactly what they could do instead of leaving me alone. Call and set a time for us to meet for happy hour. Suggest a movie and give me a specific time to meet. Ask me if I’m depressed and if I want to get out of the house. I will always say yes if prompted!
It’s hard for me to do it on my own sometimes.
This works! They don’t feel helpless- and it saves my relationships as people can get involved in my life no matter what mood I’m experiencing!
Julie
what do you do when you find it almost impossible to brush your teeth let alone go to a move. Besides the sound would drive my sensitive hearing nuts. What if the depression so bad you just cant leave? I assume you are not BP 1 with anxiety and depression co-morbidity.
Hi Michael, I had a day today where the depression and med side effects were so intense I could hardly function, so I do understand what you’re talking about. I’ve been managing this illness for a long time- it is possible to get things done when you’re depressed- sometimes they are small things like brushing your teeth or changing your clothes! My book Get it Done When You’re Depressed lays out my strategy. I made it to a movie today and kept going with my strategies until I was well enough to work tonight. I hate this depression. It’s always a challenge! But I do have far more stable days than depressed days. It is possible to get better. Thanks for your comment! Julie
Hi Julie .
I have followed your posts and bought your book for my partner ‘loving someone with bipolar’. He has not read it really but he is very good to me so thats a blessing.
I was diagnosed with bipolar ll in June of this year 2013 after being on antidepressants for 20 + years. I got a second opinion and was given this diagnosis. In June I was in a severe mixed mood and I went into hospital . It appeared to be as a result of Cymbalta..I was put on Lithium for 5 months ..it did not work. Im just after coming off it and im now on Lamictal 3weeks. Im in a severe depression. Im angry . Im crying . I get things done most days but im really struggling now. This is the longest and most severe episode I have ever remembered being in.
Any advice would be great and I would really appreciate it.
Thank you. Glad to hear you are doing a bit better again.