A reader, Ruth just left the following comment about her relationship with her partner who was just diagnosed with bipolar disorder:
I am 55. My husband is also 55. He is just being diagnosed with bipolar. It explains so much. But he has never been in a depressive state. He has spent over $30k since the first of January – arrested 3 times for drunk and disorderly – he has virtually every symptom of bipolar except depression
Here is my reply:
Hello Ruth,
There are forms of bipolar disorder where the person has more mania than depression. I suggest reading about dysphoric mania. Many people with heavy mania express their depression in a mixed episode- also called dysphoric mania. You can type in “mania” in the subject search to learn more. My book Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder also explains the different types of mania. Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder is my book for partners such as yourself. The book will help you learn about his mania before it gets to the point that he is spending this much money. I used to be a big manic spender as well. We can learn to manage our money when we have bipolar disorder. I always suggest that partners of people with bipolar disorder protect themselves from the manic spending of someone with the illness.
You will now be able to look back and see his spending patterns over a lifetime- when we are diagnosed later in life, so many things become clear. He will need time to adjust. When I was diagnosed, there was a lot of grief. I lost so many years to this illness. We need time to adjust after a diagnosis. Here is a link to an article about the bipolar disorder diagnosis:
I’m glad you are online and finding information. You are not alone.
Julie
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I have bipolar disorder and am always honest with everyone in my life about my manic spending. Here are a few pictures of manic spending in full bloom! I work hard to keep my mania under control. It’s WAY TOO EXPENSIVE to be manic!
I have a pen and drawing pad manic tendency- this isn’t too expense, so if I’m really hypomanic, I allow myself to buy pens. It’s embarrassing to show people the results of manic episodes- but pens are pretty benign! Wild manic spending sprees that involved traveling, men, drinking and spending money like I had a money tree are in the past. If you have bipolar disorder, how do you manage your manic spending? If you’re a partner of a person with bipolar disorder, how do you protect your finances from the behaviors of the person you love?
Good questions. I dress all of this in my book Loving. I wrote this after being in a relationship with a wonderful man who has bipolar disorder one. He is such an important person in my life. When two people in a relationship have bipolar disorder, a strong management plan is essential!
Julie
