I walked into a trigger this weekend. This is like walking into a brick wall that you refuse to see- even when it’s staring you in the face. It’s a hallmark of bipolar disorder.
My bipolar brain says, “Sure Julie! Of course you can do that!” and then once I do it, my stable brain says, “Oh no Julie. Look what you’ve done! You caused the monster to come out once again!”
I know better. I write the books right? I know not to be so hard on myself. This is a tricky illness. I can get mildly manic and not realize it and then make a decision that seems just fine at the time- in the past, these decisions usually involved money and men- and of course…. beer. 🙂
The good news is that I have the plan from my books that I put into place as soon as I make a mistake with a trigger. This shortens the inevitable mood swings from triggers and lets me get back to my life often in days or a week instead of the months and even a year I used to experience.
Bipolar disorder is a triggered illness- if you can learn your triggers and then avoid them whenever possible- you can stay a LOT more stable!
And drink less beer!
Julie
