I’ve had enough of comments that knock my belief that there are situations where people with bipolar disorder desperately need medications.
As many of you know, I wrote my first book, Bipolar Happens! in 1998. I then wrote the Health Cards- a treatment plan that works with or without medications- and then Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder, Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder and Get it Done When You’re Depressed. ALL of these books are based on the idea that medications are ONE part of bipolar disorder management. Not the end all and be all- but an integral piece of the puzzle, especially for those of use who are unlucky enough to have chronic, never ending mood swings.
To attack someone for using medications is sinister.
What can the motive for this behavior possibly be? Are these people writing MS and diabetes websites and telling people they should not take medications? Are they attacking breast cancer treatment in the same way? It ASTOUNDS me that some people believe that attacking a person for their use of medications when needed is actually helping anyone.
I’ve worked as a coach for family members and partners of people with bipolar disorder for five years now. I hear the horror stories that few people hear. Adult children living at home, refusing help and high jacking the parents’ house due to untreated bipolar disorder- and then, when even the most modest of medication regime is introduced, the child gets out of the room, goes to school or work- gets off the video games and the drugs and the drinking and says- thank you for believing in me. Partners in loving and kind relationships who wake up one day to a partner who has so profoundly changed during a manic episode that the police have to be called. In almost all of these situations- the person has been on meds that worked and then gone off meds with the result being a dangerous and life threatening mood swing. Where do anti medication people stand when a parent or partner is crying in desperation because their loved one can’t see they are ill?
How can this possibly be a bad thing? Enough I say! No more- my stance is 100% clear and always has been. I don’t like having to take medications- and I’ve gone for very, very long periods where I didn’t take them- but just this time last year they saved my life.
I wish I could take them every day and not have to use the Health Cards every minute in order to just get out of bed.
If you do not believe in medications for bipolar disorder, THEN DON’T TAKE THEM!
It’s pretty simple. I take them when needed and will always support their use if I feel they will help a person have a productive life. If you are someone who wants to push a zero medication agenda, there are plenty of places- and conferences and blogs and websites where you can do so- just know that my sites are not the place to push any agenda. I will no longer post them on this site as I feel they are detrimental to those who are looking for help. I believe in BALANCE.
I’m open to constructive criticism and positive reinforcement. As I write this, I’m thinking of my dear friend Gayathri Ramprasad- colleague, executive director of AHSA international and the author of Shadows in the Sun- the first book ever written by an Asian woman that openly discusses depression, anxiety and suicide- I’m on the board of ASHA. Gayathri doesn’t take medications on a daily basis. I have many friends who choose to manage their mental health disorders with natural treatments- but let me be very, very honest here.
I don’t know of ANYONE with bipolar disorder who has not needed medications at some point in order to survive.
I’ve taken the so-called high road for over ten years and I’m done. I will not tolerate, accept or condone any more internet negativity from anyone- anywhere. regarding the use of medications when needed- in moderation- with open eyes- for people with bipolar disorder. If you support a similar policy- then feel free to be vocal about it. We must take the internet back from trolls- from the negative and unhelpful- from those who accuse and mock and degrade those who are simply trying to get better. Enough I say- and onward to a more positive mental health internet!
Julie
Thanks for setting the record straight with a no tolerance policy on opinionated negativity against meds that have given people their lives back. I have seen the difference in multiple people in my husbands family, some of whom would be homeless, strung out or dead if not for proper meds. I find that those who are most critical are usually the least educated.
You don’t have to publish this response. I just wanted to thank you taking a stand and putting a stop to the venomous posts from “Duane”. It seems to me that he was showing unnecessary aggression towards the mental health community and it was starting to scare me. I almost felt like he was battling his own demons and wanted his unhappiness to become our unhappiness. He rattled me in such a way that I was going to unsubscribe to the blog. I hope we have seen the last of him.
Julio, thank you So very much for your comment. It took guts to write it. It’s hard to explain how it feels when you are already having trouble with your moods and then you get on a site that offers balanced information, but some posters think it’s a forum for their own twisted thoughts. I’ve struggled with what to do for years. Then it became clear. I simply ban the people from the site and let others comment- even if they disagree with me! Comments from readers are often as powerful as the blog posts! Julie
I recently was diagnosed Bipolar type I. As a member of the military and someone who always feared mental health problems this has turned my life upside down. My father was “manic depressive” before Bipolar was vogue. I remember the different people he could be, his intelligence, empathy, and madness.
I never wanted to be my father!
I feared taking medication, even though I have been self medicating for years. You know what I mean. I DONT like the side effects. I wish I could go without. I can’t be that guy again. I can’t be that guy who tries to take his own life. I have a lot of fear right now and obviously am not where I want to be; imagine how bad I could be without medication.
I now see the fear my wife harbors, that she has another child to look after and that my changes with meds and brain chemistry are volatile.
Fear is the problem. That’s why people look down on us who choose medications AND therapy. How many people fear what diagnosis they might get if they ever sought help for their glaring faults? My military friends are surprisingly supportive and understanding. My family has shown a depressing lack of understanding; what is worse my mother may have known for years and used it to manipulate me.
This is a long hard road and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Also, I would advise others to withhold judgment. My thorn in the flesh is a struggle I cannot win without help from God, family, friends, professionals, and medication.
Jesse
Julie, I’ve been following you for many, many years. I remember a time when you weren’t able to take any meds because of their side effects. But you never ran down people like me who are lucky enough to be able to withstand most of those nasty effects.
I’m glad you have run those dogma-pushers out of town. No one should have to be targetted by personal attacks just because they try to help others. Especially when they already have to manage their own emotional reactions, lest they become seriously unwell.
I see this far too often on the internet. Thanks for doing your bit to end these unpleasant practices!
Thank you Paul. I’m back on meds as the hypomania is stalking me! I posted a funny picture about it on my Facebook page today. It involves shopping – and almost buying! The situation with the trolls on the internet is very upsetting for me. It caused me to quit doing some work I truly loved in the soccer world. It’s odd how some people just don’t like to hear other people’s opinions- and even when you kindly give them a place to talk- and ask them to be more respectful, they can’t see WHY you are asking. I think that trolls are worried people- of course, some are just unkind, but many say they are not trolls and are just sharing an opinion. I don’t buy it! My no troll policy is a bit scary for me as I truly want to respect all people and not let something turn into some kind of cyber war. I had to choose myself and my other readers over a few people. I’m glad I did and I’m glad you understand! Thank you. Julie
Julie,
You continue to describe me as a troll. I am not.
You say I don’t listen to others’ opinions. I read your book, and have been on your site several times.
You say I “attack” people who take psychiatric drugs, when I criticize the medical model, not people who have been labeled and (mis)treated by psychiatry.
I’m “worried” alright.
I’m worried that people like you, self-proclaimed “experts” are leading others the wrong direction.
But the one thing that really gets under my skin….
You’re not honest.
In fact, I’ll go as far as to say (from your comments about me on this blog page), you’re a liar.
Duane
Duane, this is the last time I will reply to your posts. I must insist that you stop writing. I gave you a forum for your thoughts for a very long time and I am no longer willing to do so. Even when I explained to you that I stand by my belief in medications for bipolar disorder, you kept writing. Maybe you don’t understand how your posts affect me and those who are loyal readers of this website. As for being an expert, I will only say this once because I feel the need to get through to you so that you will stop writing me.
I was diagnosed with rapid cycling bipolar disorder two with psychotic features in 1995. I had my first hypomanic episode at 17. The year before my partner Ivan was diagnosed with bipolar disorder one after a HARROWING three months in the hospital where I was given no information or support on the illness. I NEVER met his psychiatrist. The psych nurses were wonderful- but they had no idea how to help me. My diagnosis was a complete shock as I didn’t know that bipolar disorder two even existed.
There were zero- and I mean zero books on the market for partners- I know this because I wrote the first one. It has sold over 200,000 copies. That is not a typo. My coauthor Dr. John Preston is my friend, teacher and mentor. He has written 20 books on mental health disorders and checks all of my books for accuracy. I AM an expert on medications because he basically put me through school on every single medication used to treat this awful illness. He taught me all that I know and I then studied so much that when I went to get a master’s degree in psychology I already knew what was in the books and could have written many of them- I was also told by my publishers that a masters degree was not needed as my books are experiential and not completely technical. If that is not experience- please tell me what is. Wait, I take that back. Don’t tell me anything anymore. And secondly- I have taken 26 medications in my quest to manage the horrible and constant mood swings I experience weekly- and have done so since age 37 when this illness took a turn for the worse- I’m now 50.
I have never accepted advertising on this blog- as you may notice. To call me – of all people- a liar is a joke. I have not lied once in my career that I know of- considering the extreme shame I often feel after not being able to control my mania or when suicidal thoughts hit me once again. I do not take money from drug companies and I once turned down a huge deal for a major drug company to sponsor Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder- so any and all accusations you make regarding my view on medications are ludicrous.
Have you any thought for what your posts do to MY health? I doubt you have experienced what most of us have experienced with this illness or you would not dare to criticize those of us who have to take medications. I will say this one more time- I would be dead without medications at certain points in my life. I’m not sure what part of this you don’t understand.
I’ve never written a response like this one. I hope I never have to again. Your insensitive and accusatory emails will not be tolerated. Do not ever write to this site again. I am protecting my readers from your venom and will do so for the rest of my days. My readers are ALL that matter to me- far above money and if you read my posts and visited my social media sites, you would see this. I give away money- my books- and speak for free far more that I ever accept money. I coach those without funds at a very reasonable sliding scale fee. I know that my coaching clients would be appalled at how you are treating me.
Here is a note to my blog readers-you do not need to stick up for me- nor do you need to be upset by what I am writing- I’m a big girl and I can certainly take care of myself.
I am on a mission to stop any and all internet bullying. It is the scourge of our industry and I will not tolerate it. Duane, you are a bully. Your posts are a detriment to my health and the health of my readers.
Do not write me again. If you do write, I will not read what you write and will delete it immediately. If you cannot keep yourself from bullying me- I must ask- who is the one with the problem? It certainly isn’t me.
Julie
I had a good friend who was an alcoholic, and also bipolar. A musician and architect and father. He went to AA meetings as part of his wellness plan. The folks in his local AA group insisted that he stop taking his bipolar meds. Well, he followed their lead, soon became manic, and put a pistol in his mouth and blew his brains out. And left behind two beautiful daughters and loving wife. I lost my sister to medication-resistant depression in 2006. My older brother has spent years in prison, due in part to untreated bipolar. And last May my niece also put a pistol in her mouth and blew her brains out in the shower. Also leaving behind two grade-school sons. Healing takes many forms. I am sure that some folks are able to manage a bipolar diagnosis without medication. My older sister did this for decades with hypomania. How she did so is beyond me. That is until the depression began showing up. She was subsequently diagnosed with bipolar. She found medication that worked for her. I also have bipolar. Had it for 26 years now. Meds saved my life. Are meds my only treatment? No! So is diet, sleep, cognitive therapy, making art, family, friends, community. Interestingly, the lithium carbonate I take to keep my brain functioning is not even a drug. It’s a natural occurring metallic salt found in the earth’s crust. And also in our sun. The third lightest element on the periodic table behind hydrogen and helium. I was once used to create the color red in fireworks. So what if I take a “drug” to find healing and wholeness. Why is it suddenly a sin? (By the way “sin” does not mean bad . . . it means “separation from”) Just because I ingest a prescribed chemical I have crossed some moral threshold? What about the doctors over-prescribing opiates for “pain relief” What would you rather do. . . watch your love one swallowing a tablet each day? Or cleaning their blood and brain tissue off the shower walls. Well, if medications are the issue then we are all guilty aren’t we? In that case, let’s protest the use of anesthesia for general surgery. When the anti-medication folks arrive for pre-op, we’ll just tell them “sorry, it’s just bad to use anesthesia cause it’s a drug. It’s a medication.” Sorry about that. You’ll just have to endure your bypass surgery or colonoscopy without it. What type of hold-down straps do you prefer? Leather or metal?” “Root canal anyone? I’m sorry, but lidocaine is a derivative of coca plant. I’m afraid its a medication also.” “There there, you can grab the chair rests when the carbide burr hits the periodontal membrane.” Yet heaven forbid if I have an illness in my brain. Second in size only to the liver, the brain is the organ we know the least amount about. I know where the fear comes from. It’s the perceived loss of control. Mention the word “mental” in combination with any other word and alarms begin sounding. Why? because humans are tribal. And to have a mental illness means a perceived loss of control. And loss of control means being pushed out of the tribe. And deep down we all have a primal fear of being alone in the jungle. Why? We have no claws, no sharp canines, no venom to defend ourselves. We need tools and the help of others to survive. The average chimpanzee could kill us on the spot. Our society still lives in mortal terror of Victorian-era methods of treatment. And rightfully so. Some of the former methods of treatment bordered on the barbaric. Doctors simply did not know how the brain worked back then. Like giving a gorilla a socket wrench and asking him to rebuild your car’s engine. Fast forward to the 21st century. Knowledge of the brain has increased exponentially just in the past ten years. Scientists and physicians are seeing more clearly the links between brain function and brain chemistry. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to feel the effect that eating a box of chocolate can have on your mood. Or caffeine, or sugar, or alcohol. But Lord help me should I find that I have bipolar and need to take medication for it. Also,there is a cultural bias as well. In some cultures, those who have mental illness are highly respected members of the community or tribe. And found to have special talents, gifts, and insights. Look at the pain the late Robin Williams endured as he sought to make us laugh. I would have traded a million laughs for him to have found peace of mind, and respite from depression. If, for whatever reason, taking meds creates such an uproar, why not just change the delivery system? Instead of taking pills, create an underarm roll-on like that used to deliver testosterone treatments in men. Just a swish under your arms and off you go. Then, if the anti-med crowd comes a callin’ just raise your arms and tell them to start sniffin’. Why is it a crime to have mental illness, but not a four-hour erection? Keep fightin’ the stigma. Keep talking and sharing. “Impossible,” Napoleon is quoted as saying, “is found only in the dictionary of fools!”