I choose the stable life….
Strategies from my parent and partner coaching….
When you ask a question or talk about the other person and their answer is about you, learn how to get the conversation back on track by using my Fast Conversation Strategies.
– I like spending time together, but lately I’ve found it hard to get in touch with you.
– Response: Oh, so now you’re my mother?
– It helps me a lot to know when you need me to do the writing on the website. I need a schedule so that I can keep my work in order. I’m a bit confused about the project itself.
– Hmm. I guess it’s all about you these days is it? Can’t you just do what I sent you and let me get my own work done!
I’m worried about your drinking and would like to talk about it.
– You had a glass of wine at dinner the other night, so look who’s talking!
This is all bull@#$@# if you want to know the truth and as soon as you realize that someone is deflecting your genuine worry or desire for information back on you, you can stop it in five seconds.
– I like spending time together, but lately I’ve found it hard to get in touch with you.
– Response: Oh, so now you’re my mother?
– I have no desire to be your mother, but I do like to be around people who are accessible. If this doesn’t work for you, I understand. I will find someone who does answer my calls.
It helps me a lot to know when you need me to do the writing on the website. I need a schedule so that I can keep my work in order. I’m a bit confused about the project itself.
– Hmm. I guess it’s all about you these days is it? Can’t you just do what I sent you and let me get my own work done!
– When it comes to my work, it makes sense for me to have a schedule. My work is important to me and to keep it of high quality, I need better communication and a timeline. If this doesn’t work for your, that is ok. I will find someone who does want to work in this way.
I’m worried about your drinking and would like to talk about it.
– You had a glass of wine at dinner the other night, so look who’s talking!
– If you want to talk about my drinking during a different conversion, that is fine with me. Right now, I am talking about your drinking and how it affects me.
I’ve been a coach for parents and partners for ten years now. The situations I work in are often enormous crises. Super clear communication is always the first step to getting the person who is ill in to treatment.
Coaches are not therapists. My job is to help a loved one learn to communicate with someone who has bipolar. This in turn taught me to communicate with anyone. Sometimes, when a conversation or email exchange happens and I feel that someone is trying to control me, my work or to get me to do more work than I have been paid for for example, I will listen, say nothing and LEAVE. They can finish their own work.
My stability is what matters. I pledge not to harm others. I pledge to listen to others when they need to talk to me. I pledge to be the best person I can be. To do this, I don’t have to put up with the crap of others. I can leave.
Julie
