I wrote this post four years ago….. It’s hard to read something from that long ago and realize it still happens today! But that is the nature of bipolar disorder. My mood swings are managed daily. I’ve made a lot of lifestyle changes- such as not dating or partying at night, etc that have helped. (Boring, but more stable.) But I know that though the illness may stay, I can always be a step ahead and keep myself well.
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Here is the post from 2008…..
Five mood swings in one day!
I doubt that is a record, but it sure wears me out. In that past week, I’ve had at least 20 mood swings. They are mild, but certainly strong enough to chart. Yesterday I had three distinct upswings. The day before that, I had a few upswings and an intense hour long downswing where I immediately started crying. I’ve also been twitching a lot which means there is something not right with my Lamictal dose.
What is causing this rapid cycling? Though I’m glad it’s on the manic side instead of being constant depression, I know it’s not good for me. I can feel my adrenaline pumping and I feel like jumping out of my skin. The chemicals are racing through my brain much faster than they normally do. I feel like talking to strangers.
So, what’s going on? I have to be a detective to figure this out. Here are my ideas:
– The fall weather here in Portland, Oregon has been exceptionally beautiful and sunny. We had a dark summer, so this is fantastic. But it’s mania inducing.
– Maybe my Lamictal isn’t working correctly.
I’m sure it’s a combination, but I’m leaning towards the Lamictal problem. This has happened to me in the past. I took some extra Lamictal last night to see if I could calm down and stop the Lamictal twitching. I may have missed a dose.
(2012- It turned out to be the Lamictal. When we don’t know what’s going on- detective work on our mood swings helps.)
Julie
We have to keep going no matter what!
PS: Please excuse the picture. I was having a bad hair day.
Hi Julie,
How low do you have to sink, Julie? Making money by faking mental illness? Writing books??? There is nothing more disgusting than when someone fakes an illness for material gain.
I know you don’t have Bipolar. I know you don’t have psychosis, and have never had psychosis or experienced any psychotic behavior. I know more about you than you know about yourself because I can see what you can’t; the truth.
It’s nice to see that you can trick the majority of your readers; those who think they have bipolar or have some other mental illness, family members of mentally ill individuals, the general public, and everyone else who hasn’t experienced it first hand. It’s nice to push bullshit into the minds of the uninformed when they won’t know the difference.
GO F@$@# YOURSELF.
Every day is a fight for me. So you wrote “Get it Done When You’re Depressed”? You managed to WRITE A BOOK in this state? Have you ever been depressed? Do you realize that logical thinking doesn’t exist, nothing matters but ending the suffering, and half the time you don’t understand what’s going on outside your own head?
No, I don’t think you do. But you managed to write a book on strategies toward getting things done. So where was your motivation to write this book in the first place? Those who suffer know there is no such thing as motivation; getting things done doesn’t even enter out mind. Who cares about getting anything done at all???
And you also wrote a book on Bipolar management? Oh really now… so you’re telling me there are triggers to moods? That sure as hell seems like managing your emotions to me, not fighting UNCONTROLLABLE MOOD SWINGS which have no triggers. Never mind that, there are ways to prevent it!! As you well know, since you also suffer from this mental illness, that logic also goes out the window when dealing with mood swings. How can you logically stop yourself from the roller coaster if you can’t comprehend what’s going on around you at the time of the incident? When you are lost in the blur between reality and insanity how can you really use logic?
You really need to do more research before posting more bullshit to the world. I hope you’re happy with your millions of dollars and world-wide fame. Here I sit, a disabled veteran nonetheless, unable to figure out where I am half the time, why I have lapses of time and memory that stretch for hours, why I can’t think straight anymore, or why I can’t function as a normal human being (socially, financially, physically, and everything else in between!).
You think DIET AND EXERCISE solve a lot of the problem!! HA! I guess I’m so far down the rabbit hole the only thing that can cure me is a bullet, since all medicinal combinations I have tried, all the counseling, therapy, and wellness group bullshit haven’t done a damn thing.
It took me 12 hours to write this post. I still can’t tell if this is a dream or if I’m actually posting this in reality. There is no clear divide anymore. All I know is my concentration is shot and it’s hard putting things together.
I can’t wait to meet you in hell. Maybe all this suffering I’m doing here on earth is a test of faith towards Satan. God obviously doesn’t want me, so fuck him.
Hello Mr. Appleseed. This is an answer to your long post. First, I have to tell the truth- NO ONE and I mean NO ONE makes money off of self help books unless they are Dr. Phil! 😉
My bipolar started at 17. I has ruined my life in many ways. I fight it daily and only recently at age 48 found medications that really seem to be working-even better than taking my Lamictal as a single drug. I wish you were right. It would be great if I were faking and I didn
Julie,
I love you so much 🙂 I seemed to be rather angry that day (don’t know why) and regret posting that. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry, but hopefully my love for you can fix the problem. I’ll send some to you right now through my mind.
By the way, you are very pretty. Take care! I’m off to see the wizard 🙂
Hi, no worries. We all have our moments. I try to keep my anger from exploding all over the place, but it’s hard. I actually thought your comments were good. I think the blog will enjoy reading them because there we all are – reflected in someone else’s words ! Bipolar sucks.
I’m glad you’re feeling better. Julie
i ve just had a few glorious days of manic ecstasy, flying on high-speed power jet stream, admiring myself from the corner of the stage, watched myself dazzle the audience, move a few public toilettes and navigated through meetings with a precision of a neurosurgeon.. i admired new me and this new world of privilege. God, i needed it like water, air.. i was in the grave hole for way too long.. and just when i tasted the air and wine and fell in love with this new me, the demon dropped by and crashed my party, now back in his claws.. i feel the paws on my neck and heavy flesh that wont move.. my body is my enemy again tonight and my mind is a prison.. fun night.. i love the world and look at the stars make me cry, coz there is so much out there, and i am trapped under so little..
i will not live much longer. its getting too intensive, too rapid and too cruel for my soul..
Hi Helena –
I appreciate how difficult it can be to deal with frequent mood swings. It’s something that I deal with frequently. But, I’m making it and you can too. Please take a look at the topics on the right side of the page – you’ll find specific categories on depression and suicide that will help give you tools to cope. Readers, please offer suggestions and encouragement.
Julie