Hi, my name is Nicci Wall. I am an Aussie from Geelong, Victoria a bayside regional city. I was diagnosed with Bipolar in November 2001 after 21 years of symptoms, predominately depression.
It wasn’t until I progressed into agitated, rapid cycling mixed states that I was diagnosed. My family was scared of me, hell, I was scared of me and I hated the way I was, but didn’t know what was causing the internal rage or why. I demanded to see a psychiatrist and on doing so my Mum finally disclosed there was Manic Depression in my maternal Grandmother’s family.
It took 5 ½ years to find a medication combination that worked for me and side effects I could live with. OMG some of the side effects I experienced were worse than the illness!
When diagnosed I wasn’t provided any information on Bipolar, where to find information or where to find support, so I set about educating myself through books and an online Australian Bipolar Support Group called Fyreniyce. I learnt more from the real life experiences of other sufferers than I did from any book. I completed mood charts, identified triggers and implemented coping strategies obtained through reading, Julie’s work, support group participants and others.
I later set up a Depression & Bipolar Support Group in my local area and started compiling the living manuscript Glimpses – A compilation of uncensored real life experiences with Mental Illness and Minds Unleashed – A collection of poetry by people with a Mental Illness.
Both of which are available in pdf format for free by emailing me at (forwalls @ xi.com.au) I distribute these quarterly to Consumers, Carers, Dr’s, Clinicians, Universities and TAFE’s (it is used as a course resource), nationally and internationally. (I’ve listed my email with a few spaces in order to avoid spammers! You can type it into your email regularly wihtout the spaces. )
Now 10 years down the track I am relatively stable, but continue to have breakthrough episodes, although rarely. What I do experience regularly is a pressured head, low grade headache combined with light and sound sensitivity, which in turn affects my cognitive abilities. As I am a Bookkeeper/Admin Manager, this can be extremely frustrating and disrupt my work, but I am luckier than most as I have a boss who accepts this and allows a lot of flexibility in my hours.
I have achieved a lot over the past 10 years as a Mental Health Advocate, but the most important thing I did was take responsibility for managing my illness.
Here is a link to read more about my beaufitul home town of Geelong, Victoria in Australia.
Nicci
So great to hear from a fellow Aussie!
Thanks for sharing your story Nicci!
So true that some of the side-effects can be far worse than the illness!
Congratulations on your achievements and all the best with your Future ones too!
Hi Nicci,
I have known about your work for many years. It’s really an honor to have you as a guest blogger.
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If you’ve never heard of Nicci- she is a powerhouse in the bipolar community! Check out her websites and definitely send her messages through this blog.
We need people like Nicci to speak out when we feel to ill to function and to give a positive and productive face to bipolar disorder!
Julie
Thanks for sharing your story Nicci!
I think that it is so incredible that you guys are willing to stand up and speak frankly and with out shame about your experiences. Ever since my diagnosis in 2005, I have tried to be as open and honest to everyone about my experiences. Because I believe that the conversation will only start with us, people who are in the middle of it. We can help others and change the stigma that exists in our world, even if it is just one person at a time.
So bravo!
Thank you both Nicci and Julie!!!
Jenn
Hi Nicci,
Yep, been there done that, living a better life theses dayz, but completely sympathetic to the CAUSE !
Ex Geelong boy, now living in Albury Wodonga !
Been through the mill, what a journey, this world/society/life/era is incredible for placing heavy heavy burdens on individuals, and of course WE OURSELVES !
“I walked down a street there was a big dark hole in the sidewalk, I fell in and by hec it was hard to get out ….. the next occasion I walked down the same street and tripped and fell into the same big black hole, crikey it was very difficult to get out ….. the next occasion I walked down the same street I tried to walk around the edge of the big black hole but slipped and fell in again, by jimminity it was extremely difficult to get out and it took ages …..the next occasion I stood at the end of the same street and saw the big black dark hole and decided, NOPE ! NOT GOING DOWN THAT STREET ANYMORE !
lol Nev !
Hello, I am an occupational therapist and have worked with Psychiatric patients for over 10 years.I also have been a mental health patient for almost 25 years. I know how this disorder can be very frustrating! First I was called depressed. After receiving many different anti-depression medication I became very manic. treatments I received from many doctors none of which worked well. It was always up for three weeks,5 or 6 weeks down. It was like that for many years. When I realized that I was taking anti-psychotic so I left his care. I feel good now as I found a woman psychologist who gave me an anti-seizure med and an anti-depression med that is similar to an SSRI but different enough that it did not make me manic. I haven’t been on it for long but over two months level mood.
Good luck to y’all (I live in Texas). I will try to write if need be. Lora
Hello,
My friend has recently been diagnosed with Bipolar and is on medication that has slowed her down so much. She has a shake in her hands and her eye movements are slow and almost lazy. I hate to see her like this, feel so bad for her as didn’t understand her disease before and found it difficult to be around her as she continue to put herself down no matter how many times I and others told her she was fine and asks her to stop being so negative. She would go on and off medication for depression but never saw very high manic episodes as she is a natural funny person when she is happy. but since medication I feel my friend is gone. It seemed to zap the life out of her and she seems really down in the dumps again. She is looking for a meeting like a 12 step program to help her cope with life. Is there such a thing and are there any good books that she could read to help her cope with everyday challenges? Thank you very much. Norah B
There are many books on Bipolar disorder that may help you. One of the best is “Touched with Fire” written by Kay Redfield Jamison who is a professor of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins. She is also bipolar. ”
Francis Mark Mondimore,M.D. has written “Bipolar Disorder” a guide for patients and families published by Johns Hopkins Press Health Book. These will keep you busy for awhile! Let me know if you need more books or someone to write to.
Thank you Lora. I appreciate it. I have already ordered the books. Norah