Here is a comment I just received from a blog reader.
Hi Julie,
Thanks for all that you do. I have to be honest- I’m not like you. I read what you write and see what you do and know it’s not possible for me. I do spend hours in bed and sometimes on the couch. I watch dumb TV and don’t make good food for myself. I’ve read Get it Done and I love it- but on some days I can’t do it. I woke up down this morning and see no point in even trying to make today different. I got on the blog and at least know that there are readers like Sandra who keep going even when things get tough. But I don’t feel I will ever be that way.
Manuel
Hi Manuel,
People often tell me that they aren’t like me. I hear it a lot. My first reaction is to say- “Wait! I am like you! I am like you! I just write books about what I go through!”
But of course I can see that I would naturally come across as different. But I’d like to tell you the truth about my days.
It’s often hard for me to get out of bed because I wake up depressed. I don’t want to stay in bed , but it’s like I’m tied down in misery. The difference these days – from the days when I was first diagnosed in 1995 is that I know there are options- really big options that luckily require really small movements. I have choices.
1. I can stay in bed and feel awful and get nothing done and cry and let my brain tell me that life has no purpose. I can listen to the radio and feel the world is passing me by. And cry some more. This means that when I do finally get up, I have a few strikes against me because I stayed in bed and I’m so upset with myself.
2. I can force myself out of bed while my brain kicks and screams and says- “What’s the point Julie!”
I can’t make that voice go away at first. But getting out of bed- a decision and motion that takes a few seconds- is the first step to at least getting my say in what I want for myday. Then there are no strikes against me to start the day. I get to make my own decisions. It’s a physical push like diving
This mini decision to get out of bed is the secret. It’s a screw you to the depression that wants me to stay there. I am like everyone else when I wake up. That’s for sure. The difference is that I’ve taught myself to manage the depression step by microstep.
You have to be willing to do things when you don’t feel good. It’s like getting used to the pain of a broken leg while it heals. If that makes sense! You have to be able to work when in great psychic pain. You have to trust that the work you do while depressed is just as good as the work you do when you’re stable.
I woke up depressed today. I have a lot to do, but it seemed pointless at 7:30 this morning. Then I said to myself, “I’ll tell you what’s pointless Julie! The truly pointless thing would be to stay in bed and let this illness take another day from you! ”
Let’s say that I’m not as different than you think, but I do have my plan and I use it. We can ALL do this. It may be hard to believe, but it’s now 9:30 and my depression is at least 50% gone. All from getting out of bed and getting on with my day. It works.
Thanks for your comment Manuel. My goal for you is that you can get out of bed each and every morning. That is a big goal, but I know it’s one you can do. The rest can follow.
Julie
I think you are right and microsteps are the key to many facets of life as a bipolar. It can even act in a manic episode where we can reduce the pace with them. Thanks for sharing.
I have learned that the best thing I can do for myself is to get up immediately out of bed, the minute my eyes open…if I stay in bed one more second I become depressed. This may sound so simple, but it works for me…I get up and make myself a good cup of coffee and then begin my day…I’m on disability, so I have to create my days. I try to make each day productive in some way…just going to the store is a major event in my life. Leaving the house makes me feel much better, but making the effort and just doing it is difficult. Please know that if you keep trying to make your life better it will happen…just find a routine that works for you and take those microsteps!! Good Luck….
As soon as I get out of bed, I make it. It is a quick pull of the quilt and fluff the pillows, takes a few seconds, but it looks neat and I stay out of it all day because I do that. Whatever works for us, we need to find what that is. This quick easy thing has kept me out of bed all day for years. It is just a mind game, but it works for me.
getting up and out of the bed is the hardest thing next to gettting out of the recliner. I simply have no desire to do anything except eat….a meds thing. seems nothing goes my way, i’ve lost dear friends;or i thought they were friends, i can’t get on disability because i didn’t work early enough in my life etc. everything seems hopeless and everything stresses me out. i want to be different but so far it’s not happening. any advice?
I have been fighting this battle most of adult life. It is absolutely imperative to get out of bed immediately. I have a very busy life so there is lots to do if I just make myself get out of bed. After all these years ( I’m 63) it is still my biggest challenge and I don’t always succeed. The craziest part is if I don’t get out right away, I immediately have major stress up my back. To this day that I haven’t trained myself to get out as soon as eyes are open is still a mystery. Even 5 extra minutes is a huge mistake.
Hello Murray!
I still struggle with this after 30 years of dealing with it! I now get out of bed without a problem, but getting going is often hard. That is what my post today about puppies chasing butterflies is all about! Keep trying! Keep going! Bipolar disorder management never ends, but it gets so much easier. Julie
Thanks for this. I am struggling with getting up every morning. Missing mornings at work and feeling bad lying in the bed ruminating. If I can just get my feet on the floor I can begin a day less defeated.
Do you have Get it Done When You’re Depressed? I suggest having it by the bed- and even if it feels impossible to lift the book, force your hands to open it and look at the strategies- choose the one that sticks out to you. Your mind will not want you to do this. Depression is a terribly harsh task master. Don’t listen to depression. Your body CAN get out of bed and mood- your mind is lying to you. Tricky, nasty depressed brain! Choose the one thing in the book that makes sense and no matter how you feel, let the idea get into your head and try it. You may have to do this a few days in a row as this kind of depression is strong, but you CAN break the hold depression has on you by moving your body. It starts with putting your feet on the floor- I love Be Your Own Drill Sergeant for times like these. I was in a bed a long time with my depression. I’m not moving to Europe next week. If I can get rid of 30 years of off and on catatonic depression, you can too. Start small. You can do it. I believe in you. Julie