Is it possible for me to know the difference?
It can be difficult, but it’s not impossible.
It’s all about degrees- typical teens and bipolar teens act in similar ways, but not with the same intensity. And bipolar disorder behavior is ALWAYS out of sync with events.
For example, a typical teen who is angry may yell at you and run to their room and slam the door. A teen with bipolar disorder may yell, try to hit you and then run out of the house and not come back for hours.
Another very important distinction- typical teens tend to calm down and go back to ‘normal’ once they have let you know how they feel. Teens with bipolar disorder can stay in certain upsetting moods for much, much longer.
A typical teen gets excited about life. A teen with bipolar disorder who is manic goes over the top with emotions the point of impulsive and dangerous behaviors.
Remember: It’s not only the behavior. It’s the intensity of the behavior.
Why is it harder for teenagers to manage bipolar disorder?
Adults with bipolar disorder have the same dichotomy of course- but we have more ability to recognize and change the extremes. For teenagers it’s all so new! Teens have to deal with first time emotions such as falling in love or studying for an exam and they don’t know what to do when the bipolar disorder takes over. There is little reference as to what is ‘normal.’ This makes it hard for teens to see they are having trouble- so their blame may go towards the parents or internally with suicidal thoughts.
On the other side, parents are usually confused because teens are notorious for being moody. No wonder it’s hard to tell what’s what! All of the parents I work with have this problem. It’s universal for teens with bipolar disorder.
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As a parent, you are amazing and you do your best. My biggest tip is to look for behavior that is out of proportion to an event and then work on recognizing and stopping the behavior- this is the best place to start on your journey of helping your teenager manage their bipolar disorder.
Julie
PS: My book section describes my Health Cards Treatment System for Bipolar Disorder. This is an exceptionally good tool for teens and parents. Regarding my books, I think that Bipolar Happens! is the best for teens while Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder really helps parents understand the illness. Bipolar Happens! is available on the Kindle for .99 and can be read on any device- including phones. I know that’s where teens read these days!
Thanks so much for addressing bipolar and teens. It will come in handy when my kids reach their teenage years. My husband has bipolar and he had many many problems in his teen years. I have known him since we were 14 years old. I have no idea why he was not diagnosed with bipolar back then even being in a residential treatment center for behavior. and it was not till a year ago that he was diagnosed. it has been a rough journey but we are seeing light because I think we finally have his meds figured out YAY!!!
anyway Julie you have been such a big help in learning about this illness and I want you to know your work is so much appreciated.
I have two bipolar daughers and a bipolar ex-husband. My heart is hurting now for my teenage daughter. She’s not well right now and she seems only to become involved in destructive relationships with guys who have criminal records, drug issues, no job etc. How can I help her see that her own moods and health are affected by her choices and that I’m not just being a critical Mom who doesn’t like her boyfriends? (I do like them, they are just NOT good for her) She is also in counseling, on medication but the constant DRAMA in her life would cause anyone to feel like they’re living life on a roller coaster. How can I better help her help herself?
Also Julie, I so appreciate you devoting your life to helping others with this disease and sharing so openly your own experiences. You are helping many.
I am so thankful you are there to help parents know when their teen is not just being a teen. Two of our children have suffered with bipolar and both had different symptoms in teen years. If we had only known then what we were dealing with we could have helped them so much more. One stumbled through the symptoms and has learned to cope with them on a minimum of medication, but the other’s symptoms became more severe after his teen years and he has had seven years of trial and error with meds and therapy, still dependent on care givers to keep him stable. They were both diagnosed with depression and on medication for that in high school, but they would not stay on the meds. I hope parents who suspect this problem in their teens will learn all they can as well as do all they can to help them. Thanks to you, Julie, they can be well informed! Ruth
Thank You so very much for all you do Julie. My son is 13 and just got diagnosed with Bi-polar and was put on Depakote, he was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 6 so he has been on meds since then, but Depakote is new. After reading about Rapid Cycle … oh my gosh my son is the same way he can have 2-3 mood swings a day. I am doing as much reading and research on the subject and your books and newsletters are so awsome. I am so new to this illness I have a long road ahead of me, my husband was diagnosed 2 yrs ago and he is 38, and unwilling to accept it and it is very trying especially with my son, who is not his biolagical son. I am very appriciative to all you do and publish .. it will be a tremendous help to me to know where to go to read and find out more on how to help BOTH my son and my husband.
my daughter was 1st treated for depression @ age 9 after exhausting all possible physical causes for her stomach problems. She was DX’d w/BD @ age 13. Her Dad was bipolar & schizophrenic. I don’t even know my child anymore. I don’t know how to answer or respond to her because she is so touchy and takes me the wrong way constantly. She is constantly turning this around on me telling me to calm down when she has just gone off on me. I love her so much but I don’t ever know what I’ll be dealing with because she is rapid cycling and I cannot have a serious conversation with her because she starts melting down emotionally saying,”I cant deal with this…just stop it!!!” She doesnt go to school or do much to be productive. We cant find a medicine that works for her.
It is really depressing. I just want her to have more good days than bad.
And where have all her emotions gone because she seems so flat, just cold.
Let me look into your books (I just came on your site). We need all the help we can get! Thank you.
hello! i think i emailed you last year and read your newsletters. did you have a chart which shows teenage behavior versus common teen behavior?
Hello Kim,
I do have a chart I use to explain the differences between the behaviors of a typical teen and the behaviors of a teenager with bipolar disorder. I’m currently reworking it for my latest book and will keep you posted when it’s ready. I will do a post on the topic in the new year. Please send me an email at julie fast coaching at gmail and I will send you the basic chart. Thank you, Julie