This is a question I hear ever time I give a talk on bipolar disorder and mental health in general. My answer always surprises people.
I believe we help others find stability by stating our needs clearly along with the message that all relationships are reciprocal.
Then, the person can decide to listen or not listen. To participate or not participate. To change or not change.
People change when they want to. Nothing we do will EVER get another person to change. When we know our needs and state them clearly, the people in our lives can join us or leave us.
It is up to them.
If our needs are based off of kindness, personal growth and a healthy dose of knowing that humans make mistakes, we can find happiness. Stating our needs is an act of the greatest respect.
In seven years, all of my clients who stick with me have had success with this system as they have learned to state their needs.
We are not taught this in school. We are rarely taught this anywhere. This is what I teach in my coaching. People are shocked when I say that my coaching has nothing to do with a person who has a mental health disorder. That is a separate life. We are not responsible for anyone except our SELVES.
My coaching is about the client who wants better relationships in life. Self change is the only way I have found peace.
Julie
PS: I am moving from one on one coaching to creating a coaching series for online learning. I will keep you posted on my new products.
Julie this is so spot on to what I have experienced with my partner.I have learned so much from your books and that one call I listened to back in November. Thank you for sharing this. I find sometimes I fear asking for my own needs to be met that it will be too much or not enough. I try to always say what I need from him as well as let him know that I am here to hear what he needs as well. All in love and kindness. Of course I am not perfect getting across what I am trying convey but it has gotten easier with time and patience.