I was just interviewed for Slate Magazine regarding a daughter who wants to help a parent who has bipolar disorder manage an inheritance. Fascinating. I LOVED talking with columnist Helaine Olen. My interview is in the second section.
Here is the question from a reader to Helaine Olen for her
How Do You Help a Parent With a Spending Problem?
column:
Helaine,
My father recently received an inheritance. He intends to spend part of it on a house, and I assume save the rest for his retirement, which is eight to 10 years away. Here’s the issue: My dad has bipolar disorder. The condition is under control with the help of medications, but he has experienced severe manic episodes in the past that have caused him to become impulsive and reckless, financially and otherwise. He’s made big, impulsive purchases like a riding lawnmower; taken impromptu trips with no plans to return; and stolen money from his own children’s piggy banks and savings accounts after getting cut off from family finances. He’s divorced from both my mother and my stepmother, and I’m wondering what I can do to protect him and our family if he experiences another manic episode, especially now that he would have access to more money. I want to make it clear to him that I have no intention of interfering with his finances unless absolutely necessary, but I would want to limit his access to his money if he was significantly impaired or unstable, as well as have access to his accounts to make sure his bills would be paid if he could not do so himself. I would never, under any circumstances, take money out of his accounts for any other reason. I’ve brought up this topic before, and it clearly made him uncomfortable. I know he feels like people treat him differently even though he’s been stable and responsible with money in the recent past. My hope is he will be well for the remainder of his life, and I will never have to use this nuclear option. However, it’s a good possibility he will experience a manic episode again. What can I do to protect his investments and retirement?
Click here to read the answer and my interview quotes.
Let Helaine know what you thought of her answer. I really enjoyed our interview. She knows her stuff!
Julie
PS: Thanks to Helaine for such a great interview. When I started writing books about bipolar disorder around 20 years ago, people would say, “What is bipolar disorder?” Now, we are so open about serious mental health disorders, we can talk about management in a practical way. I have the illness. Like the woman who asked about her dad where I gave my opinion, I too have to get help from the people around me in order to stay financially stable. It’s great that we are finally talking about this in a rational way. Bipolar disorder is a genetic illness, passed through generations. It is very easy to diagnose and very, very difficult to treat. Our mania pretty much knocks out our frontal lobe functioning (Dr. Jay Carter has some great You Tube videos on this topic) and our ability to self monitor our behaviors is GONE. Her question is one that all of us affected by bipolar disorder much answer. How do we as people with the illness set up checks and balances if we get sick? How do the people around us find the courage and resources to talk with us about this tricky topic! I talk with my clients about this regularly. Yes, it’s hard to talk to a dad this way when you are the daughter, but it’s essential. Bipolar disorder doesn’t care about anything. All of us with the illness can benefit from putting our pride to the side and asking for help. Julie Fast
