A friend of mine with bipolar one just had to up her Latuda due to paranoid psychosis. She was really trying to make it on a lower dose, but had to face the reality of her psychotic symptoms. I am so proud of her for being able to take care of herself.
Another online friend went off her meds and wrote, “I was doing so much better! I thought I didn’t need them.” The interesting thing is that she’s a doctor! No matter how educated we are or how smart we are, bipolar disorder can still trick us regarding medications.
When the meds are working long term , it’s hard to feel them working. The mind often says, “You’re doing well today. It won’t matter if you just skip a dose. Opening all of those pill bottles is such a bother.”
This is not the voice of reason! The voice of reason reminds us of what life was like before I had my depression better controlled by medications- or before my friend had her Latuda.
Please know that I am not dumb. I hate the side effects too and I can’t take many medications, but the ones I can tolerate, I use. If you can take meds with limited side effects, you are one of the lucky ones. I don’t like Big Pharma. I am not a fan of a medications only approach, but I am not stable enough without meds. I need them and I take them even when I don’t want to.
Meds work. They don’t take away all of my symptoms- but they help. I wrote the Health Cards to help myself survive and they work, but I need medications as well. I still have to manage the illness daily – but it’s a lot easier now.
If you’re struggling with your meds, don’t give up. It took me a long time to find the right one for myself, but I’m so glad I kept trying. I now use the med as part of my overall treatment plan. I’m doing a lot better these days, that’s for sure.
Julie
