I wrote the following in 2007. Nothing has really changed in terms of what bipolar disorder does- but I can say that I still use my treatment plan and I haven’t made any manic mistakes in a long time!
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It was just lovely. I remember driving down the road to my house thinking. Is this what normal feels like? This is so wonderful. I’ve been doing so well lately! Maybe this is the real me!
And right then I knew I was manic. It was a huge disappointment. I had been having so much fun. I wasn’t covered in the depression fog when I went out. I didn’t eat junk food and I could talk to anyone.
I can’t believe how it snuck up on me. I haven’t had a winter manic episode in a very long time.
My family and friends noticed it first. They all know how to use my Health Cards and started talking to me about the mania. I was SO upset to hear them bring it up – which is another sign that I’m manic. I don’t want anyone ruining my party! After only three days of enjoying the mania I started to see the reality of the situation. I needed to do something about the mood swing immediately. I got out my Health Cards and did what they suggested. I was so sad that it wasn’t going to last. The depression started about a week later. It took so long to start I really thought I just might have made it through this time- but no luck. The depression hit me very hard.
It’s like being taken to heaven and then dropped straight down into the pit of hell.
I hate this illness. It lies and tells me things that aren’t true and then lies again and on and on. I was diagnosed 10 years ago, so I have my tools to deal with this now. I no longer go on a manic rampage of men, money and travel, but it’s still hard to deal with the fact that the happiness is so brief. All of us with euphoric mania feel this way. At least I had a good time for a week and didn’t make any mistakes!
Julie
Oh my goodness, I was right there with you. Those exact same thoughts ‘gee I am feeling good. Maybe I am better now. Maybe this is what normal feels like’ are my own as well when I become manic. I never allow the manic to go full steam anymore, but like you, I hate to see it end. It is like your old best friend came to visit but couldn’t stay….
I do find though, that if I catch it early on, thereby keeping it short, that the depression which follows, and it always does, might be short as well.
For me, a day in bed is how I deal with manic.
Hi Julie,
I do not have bipolar but have a loved one that was diagnosed manic last year. He didn’t continue taking his medication and was fine all summer but has been in a manic “episode” for almost a month now. My family and I have no clue on how to help him since he doesn’t think anything is wrong with him when he is manic and thinks he has never felt better in life. It always happens around this time but it gets to the point where he is violent. If he won’t take medication and we can’t check him in against his will since he is 27 what do we do?? Please help I just want my brother back.
-T.C.
Hello T.C.
What you explain is the toughest sitaution in bipolar disorder management. It’s hard to believe that an illness can make a person so unaware. People with mania have lost their reality filter and have lost their ability to see the consequences of their behaviors. So it makes sense that your brother won’t listen to you. In his mind, what you say is simply wrong. He is filtering what you say through his manic filter.
The only thing to do is prevention and management. This means a plan is put in place when your bother is NOT manic. Trying to help now is pretty impossible- but if a plan is in place for next time, you can then move into action the minute you see he is getting manic. In terms of resourcces, he won’t read my books right now- but the most helpful for the family would be Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder.
I also provide coaching for families – here is the link:
http://www.juliefast.com/family-coaching/
The only way to help your brother is to get him through this latest episode and once he is more stable- set up a plan to make sure it doesn’t go this far again. It may sound unrealistic when your brother is so sick- but it’s a plan that works.
I am glad he has you. Julie