My Mother Rebecca!
I am the luckiest person in the world when I get sick. My mother is always there for me. I can only imagine what it’s like for her. I don’t ask her about it much as it would make me cry. She does what she has to do. When I’m suicidal, she reminds me to use my Health Cards. When I’m manic, she gets out my cards to remind herself what to do. Actually, she has them memorized now, so she doesn’t have to read them anymore. She helped edit all of my books before I sent them to the publishing companies!
I can remember being so depressed one day I rolled around on the floor sobbing. Imagine being a mother and having to see your child go through that! It breaks my heart- so I just do what I can to be the best daughter possible.
Are you a mother with a child who has bipolar disorder? I take my hat off to you, that’s for sure!
Julie
My mother had no idea I was bipolar until I was 39. Up until she died at 89 I don’t think she ever understood it. But my father was and remained undiagnosed until he died in 2005 at 87. He was. He always hated me because I represented something about him he was trying to hide and I told everybody out in the open. He was embarassed because my problem came from him. There are five cousins in my family plus my grandfather all bipolar…all Italian. It’s rampant in that nationality. My father tried to force me to kill myself by taking too many of my pills. Unfortunately I never would take any more than prescribed…ever. I liked being “normal” or “level”. The day he died was the greatest day of my life.
I got dx’ed in 2010 at 52 yrs old, being always on the depressed side and treated for depression all my life , self medicating, and wandering why I was always so wild, finally in a manic episode for almost a year my brother got me to a Doc. I went back to live with my Mom, she has always been my best friend and always supported me no matter what, but what a Miracle to have her after being dx’ed, she has ordered and read all of your books, and just recently bought your card system and is getting ready to delve into that, she is the only person in my life that has taken the time to do what is needed to help me move forward, she knows me and my episodes,she can spot me in a second. It has taken her aback, she is afraid of some of our symptoms, afraid for me, but she goes full steam ahead no matter what! I don’t know what would have happened to me without her love , patiance and friendship….Mom, from your loving & thankful daughter…Happy Mother’s Day! Love, laura:)
Hi Julie,
I’m so glad that you have an understanding Mom to support you. My Parents care very much about me, but I’ve been awful to them and I have a lot of amends to make. I’ve got some very long-standing anger about old issues and it’s been hard for me to control this anger in recent years. I’m working on that, but basically I’ve been a vindictive, selfish daughter a lot of the time, even though I love them a lot. I have your health cards, so I’m hoping to work with those with them.
I’ve been depressed for so long over the last few months (more depressed than I even knew at the time) that it’s only within the last week that I’ve begun to feel my real self. I’m at that interesting place where everything that’s been so hard for months is suddenly effortless to accomplish. It’s bizarre how different this feels, and I’m sure that only people who experience changes like this could even begin to understand it.
I also find it interesting that I can see exactly what my behavior has been like, analyze it, and not destroy myself with guilt about it. It’s so different to wake up this morning and feel good. It’s when I feel better like this that I’m most aware of the toll that bipolar takes on my life. I see very clearly how much time is spent trying to fight depression and just hang on. I think this is the saddest part of having this illness – the big chunks of life that are lost.
It’s a beautiful Spring day and I’m going for a walk this evening. I hope you’re doing well too. Thanks for letting me run this by you. I don’t really have a great support system, so it’s nice to share this with someone who understands it. Thanks for reading and all of your hard work. You often help me hang on.
Cheers,
Susan
Your Mom is so lucky that you appreciate her. I am a Mom of a 29 year old daughter who has blamed me (and only me) for everything that has gone wrong in her life. It is a lonely place for me to be not being able to work with her and my heart breaks thinking how it must be for her.I am so sad that she is still struggling and so unhappy. She has a 5 year old son (she is not married)and now I worry about both of them. She does not accept her diagnosis (first episode at 19)and is not medicated. This wouldn’t seem so bad if we could just face it together. I just found you tonight and will get your books and health cards to learn how to deal better. I am all cried out.