Mania is devastating. Mania ruins relationships. Mania gets people fired. Mania gets you drunk, makes you gamble away your child’s college fund, gives you STDs, makes you so ‘creative’ you can’t see that what you’re creating makes no sense. Mania… is… dangerous.
I talk about mania in these terms because I have been there, my former partner was there and in the hospital for two months and I work with families in my coaching business who are either dealing with a manic child who has left the family to ‘take a trip around the states to see what’s out there!’ , has left a partner for greener pastures, is in jail, stopped their medications (this is often the reason for the mania), bought a $10,000 painting because it was so beauuuuuuutifuuuuuuuul!
I have seen and felt the destruction of mania.
I am here to tel you that mania starts small- it’s starts with small signs that if you notice them early as either the person with bipolar disorder or as a loved one- you can stop the destruction.
Here are three:
1. Suddenly feel better after a depression or a long period of wondering what is wrong with life and why you feel so down, uncreative and unloving all of the time. And then the mind clears and things are wonderful and you have energy again and you want to have sex again and you just love everything!
2. You stop sleeping all day and think of what a good idea it would be to get out and go to a park.
3. Beer and other alcohol or drugs look good and you no longer think of their destruction if you do them too often.
4. You can talk to anyone.
5. You suddenly feel very irritated and restless after being lethargic and unresponsive during a depression.
6. You want to beat someone up!
If you look at my mania Health Card, you will see all of this. I need to get mine out and look at them today. If you don’t have the Health Cards or Take Charge or any other way to see the beginning signs of mania, I suggest you find something today. It’s summer and mania is on the move.
There is a link to the right where you can read more about my books and how they help with mania. I use all of the ideas in my books daily.
Julie
My book group is reading “Hurry Down Sunshine” (A Father’s Story of Love & Madness) by Michael Greenberg. He writes about his experiences w/his daughter & the first line in the book was so poignant: “On July 5, 1996, my daughter was struck mad.” It was a sudden psychotic break. She has bipolar I disorder.
I was 15 when I had my first suicide attempt (& was “struck mad”). My dx is bipolar I as was my mother’s (truthfully, I always thought that was her dx–it was very hush-hush in those days, but I just got her medical reports from the mental hospitals & psychiatrists about a week ago from my brother who is executor of my father’s estate & she was actually dxed as schizo affective).
Reading this book is so moving as I am the child of a parent w/mental illness (who, unfortunately, didn’t fare well & did end up committing suicide) & a parent of two children who had horrendous bouts of depression that fortunately we (my husband & I) were able to jump on quickly & get treatment for. Daughter had to take a semester off of college & son had to be taken to the ER when I found a suicide note stating he would be dead on such & such a date in the future. The horror & pain of a parent going through such a situation is incredible. Having to deal w/my own stuff is one thing, but the pain of having my children suffer so was almost unbearable for me.
I’ve never had a full-blown mania, but have had “mixed episodes” which aren’t fun as I have lots of agitation, irritation at people which is not normal for me, & depression (crying at the drop of a hat) w/the insomnia & racing thoughts, etc. But the hypo-mania for me is pure bliss so it is very dangerous as I don’t want to report it to my doc, but must as w/sleeping only 2-3 hours a night my brain starts to malfunction & last time I went 5-6 mos. of hypo mania & then suddenly & drastically crashing into a suicidal depression (4 yrs. ago) & still trying to recover from that. AND yes, I was fully compliant on my meds, etc.
I took a trip that had a time change involved (Eastern time zone to Pacific) & was excited about the trip that made it hard to sleep before leaving & then during the trip I was excited & didn’t sleep much & then came home & continued to not sleep & didn’t realize continuing this pattern was dangerous as I felt WONDERFUL!!!!
But now I know I can’t afford to “enjoy” this hypo mania that feels like a “feel good” drug to me as it is almost like taking cocaine with dire results. But I also like to refute the erroneous belief that people who relapse & have an episode are response for it by not following the doc’s directions–not so!! I was fully compliant! Even with taking all my meds, even the sedating ones, I still went into chronic insomnia & into hypo mania simply from being excited about a trip & then taking that trip.
My meds provider just told me I can’t go 4 nights without sleeping at least 6 hrs. or she will have to give me some heavy-duty meds to force me to sleep for a bit so as not to go into hypo mania again (short-term on these sedating meds) as I do have side effects from those (night time eating!!). And after I take those meds I can talk on the phone to my kids & have a perfectly rational conversation & remember NOTHING about it the next day which scares them & me so I do not talk on the phone or anything & try to avoid having to take them at all costs.
Great article – now that I know that I have bipolar disorder and know what it is, I now see the signs of what were leading to my manic episode.
I am able to be quite stable and not be manic anymore which is very good, although I did enjoy parts of it as I had so much energy and loved every day as if it was the best day ever.
I have had several bouts of major depression. After coming out of the depression YES I am ELATED and full of ENERGY, But I am not BIPOLAR. I return to my normal state. However the depressions are so bad that it feels so good to be healthy again and get my life back. I have talked to the doctor about this and as he says ” I only see him during my depressions ” The rest of the time is pretty normal, I would love everyone to have one day in one of my depressions and they would really want to know where the Hell they went to. I don’t think they would ever complain about not having a two car garage ever again. I always know when I talk with people about depression , how bad it is, when they complain about the side effects, the side effects are soooooo small compared to the depression. The doctors sometimes use this in determining mild, or major depression. I really hope healthy people realize what riches they have.
Is it your doctor’s dx that you do not have Bi-Polar I or II or is it your own dx that you do not have it? I have had Bi-Polar since 1996 (time of diagnosis) and have been managing my illness ever since. I’ve also been in the hospital four times since then, each time because I was not taking meds or seeing doctor regularly; basically in denial. Now I haven’t been in hospital for 7 years and don’t have any plans on going back anytime soon….best therapy seems to me to be able to talk to others openly about issues and your needs
HI Lenny,
First of all- I am so happy you are doing well- everyone on this blog needs to hear that it’s possible. It gives me hope as well!
I have very classic Bipolar II as I have never had full blown mania. That is the difference between the two- I was diagnosed officially in 1995- just one year after my former partner Ivan was in the hosptial for months and diagnosed with Bipolar I! The name Manic Depression was still used back then- it has changed a lot. My problem is that I have a very rare form of Bipolar II- which is that I have so many mood swings. For example- I had 30 in July. It’s awful- but I just use my treatment plan and my Lamictal to keep going. I love to write and speak to people as well.
Thanks a lot for your comment- please do keep writing as we all need the inspiration that people can defintely get better and lead stable and productive lives. The fact that you were once in denial and now are open about the diagnosis is wonderful.
Julie
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