The Bipolar Disorder Denial Dichotomy
This picture really shows what it’s like to deal with a person who has poorly managed bipolar disorder. One day they will talk- the next day they will yell. It’s no fun for the person on the receiving end. I have been there.
You try to help and they yell at you. It’s like tip toeing around a mean animal on some days and then they are fine like a teddy bear on others. It’s part of the illness in many ways- but the person often has a lot of control in these situations and chooses not to make the steps to get better.
Bipolar is tricky.
There is definitely a form where people can’t see they are ill. Research says this is up to 50%. That’s a very high number. These are people who honestly can’t see that their behavior is causing great harm to self and others. Medications can work wonders in these situations.
Then there is the concept of denial: such as being aware of something and yet refusing to see it as a problem.
Denial – My friend Janea says, “There is no such thing as denial, Julie. There is ignoring, lying to yourself and stubbornness, but there is no denial.” I’m not even sure how to wrap my brain around this!
She means that when a person gets hopping mad when you mention their behavior and yet are able to hear what you have to say on other days- they are either sick or they know exactly what you’re talking about and just don’t want to deal with it. It’s much easier to make you the problem.
Also, there are many, many situations where the person is only mad and rude and abusive towards you and then turns around and talks normally with a friend. That’s not denial. That is a choice.
So, if you love someone who is hot and cold, they can often control it much better than you think. It may be time to hold them accountable.
Julie
PS: Never forget that aggressive behaviors that happen only during a mood swing are usually a sign that a person is ill and not that they are in denial.
My sister is exactly this. Her moods change regularly depending on the day or the conversation. I don’t think she realizes that her anxiety, frustration, anger, is a part of the disease. She looks at bipolar as being either up in a manic or down in a depression.
Hi Lisa,
I have a family member who is the same. He understands depression- but he can’t see his mania and he definitely doesn’t know how devastating it is for the family when he gets into an angry and mean mood. The good news is that he takes his meds- Lamictal- and goes back to normal. Isn’t that amazing. I’ve seen the Lamictal work in three days. It’s a wonderful bipolar medication for angry depression.
I wish I could help your sister. I write for a great website called http://www.ShareCare.com. If you visit the site and then type in my name, you will see my article list on the right. I have many entries about bipolar disorder and anger. Maybe she will read one! This is a Dr. Oz site- maybe she will trust that! Thanks for writing. Julie
“…they are either sick and are not able or won
Hello Rickydee,
You exactly desccribe the problem here. When IS a person aware of their behavior? I know that I once had a dysphoric hypomanic episode that I didn’t see AT ALL. Looking back the symptoms were there. In that case, I can’t say I was in denial. I honestly felt like I was just having a tough time.
I have a unique perspective as I coach family members and partners and hear many, many stories about lack of insight vs. denial. There is so much lack of insight with mania and especially psychosis, but I can say for sure that there are people with the illness who are aware of their behaivor but don’t want to face the reality that they have bipolar. This is especially true if a person is smoking pot and doesn’t want to stop.
We could go on and on about this topic= what matters- as you say- is that people get help. I really respect your opinion. Thank you for writing. Julie
I diagnosed and treated Bipolar for 20 years before I was diagnosed with Bipolar II. Past history with AOD recovery, anxiety w panic, and eventually agoraphobia, masked the symptoms of Bip II till I was in my 40s. Only then did I begin to understand the convoluted multi-symptomology and the difficulty in teasing out diagnoses. The side effects of meds are so different, even more so for the dually diagnosed and addicted, as is the cocktail ordered by the psydocs, it is a wonder any of us ever get the right combination of meds, much less feel balanced enough to look at what possible control we might have over the symptoms. I have just lost 140# after bariatric surgery, and the meds are causing wt and eating issues again! It really never quits, no matter how smart or knowledgeable you are, or how committed you are to recovery. Oil the floor, set it at 45* and teach me ballet! That’s easy by comparison!
I too was not diagnosed until I was 48. I had always struggled with ADHD as a child and depression. I had horrible anxiety/panic attacks that also made me agorophobic to the point I couldn’t go out of the house, this started on and off from my mid twenties. I was always told it was just depression, and sometimes the antidepressant worked for a little while, but the meds stopped working completely and I’ve been on everything. I actually went through remission of some sort in my 30’s and was totally okay and thought I’m cured. Okay, speed ahead into my early 40’s, I had three very traumatic things happen to my and developed PTSD. In other words I boarded the Crazy Train and I had bought a ticket!! There were now anger issues, suicidal ideation, strange impulses to spend lots of money I didn’t have and very bad concentration and depression. Nothing pulled me out of this one after what had happened to me. I was on a down ward spiral and this time I had slid all the way down, was fired from my job at National Institute of Mental Health (32 year veteran), and filed for disability back in October, I was not eligible to collect my CSRS retirement until the age of 55 and lost much of what I put into it all those years. I had only 5 more years to go until full retirement. When I tell you I lost it all, I mean everything. Disability is only a bit over 1,000.00 a month and now I don’t know what to do. Since my job loss in October of last year, I’ve become a shell of a person I once was. I never ever believed I could be Bi-polar, it just wasn’t something I ever thought I could be, despite having a brother who was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia at age 10. I’m telling you this is the scariest time of my life, I worked for NIMH for many, many years and they fired me, I guess I was really that sick and didn’t realize it. I really have no other words, but for anyone out there stuggling please seek help. I’ve been on most everything since then and am still very depressed, but not suicidal anymore. I know what a horrible condition it can be and how hopeless/helpless and alone one feels. Unfortunately, Lemichtol (which I was so excited to go on) broke me out in a horrible rash and my doctor had to take me off of it right away. Lithium did nothing but ruin my Thyroid and I can’t take that either. Okay, this is my story. I’ve written on this forum because Julie Fast is inspiring to me, I wish I could be as functional as her and am trying to be again, hopefully soon. I need a job to supplement the loss of income, a cheap place to live, food to eat. I’m in debt now, this is not helping my condition at all. But, please I know people have it much worse and I guess I should not complain, but to fire someone who was ill and trying their best was wrong. I was not even safe at NIMH, the very place where they help people like us.
I simply had to thank you very much again. I do not know the things that I would’ve taken care of without these pointers discussed by you directly on such a area. Certainly was an absolute depressing concern for me, nevertheless being able to view the specialized strategy you solved the issue forced me to leap with delight. I am just thankful for your service and even hope you realize what a great job that you are doing educating the mediocre ones with the aid of a site. More than likely you have never encountered any of us.
I am interested in using the above image (happy-sad teenage boy) for a bipolar campaign. Does it have copyrights issues?
“Bipolar Disorder” is not a stand-alone illness.
It is a collection of symptoms – from underlying physical and/or emotional conditions.
The idea that someone who refuses to acknowledge that they are “bipolar” is somehow in denial is absurd. In fact, a strong argument could be made that accepting a bipolar diagnosis is an acceptance of the symptoms and a failure to recognize and address the underlying root causes.
This comment is not made to judge anyone else, although psychiatrists ought to know better.-
http://discoverandrecover.wordpress.com/root-causes-of-mental-illness/
Be well,
Duane Sherry, M.S.
Retired Counselor
Julie,
Why don’t you post my comments?
Afraid of looking at “bipolar” in a new and meaningful way – other than an “illness” that needs to be “managed”?
A paradigm shift is taking place – away from labels, psychiatric drugs, and old forms of “treatment” – toward hope, full recovery – moving beyond “being bipolar” and toward being more “fully human.”
You should look into it.
Lose the label. –
http://www.madinamerica.com
Duane
HI Duane, I just left you a post above. I will defintely post your comments! I want to reply to them at the same time and I am a bit swamped right now with the blog. I always post comments- I have zero problem with someone disagreeing with what I write. My opinion can’t be all opinions! I’m open to yours and everyones. I promise to answer soon! Julie
Julie,
Thank you for posting.
Duane
So I came across this article after a work meeting with my bosses. I have been diagnosed as Bipolar Type 2, with borderline personality disorder, couple with anxiety. Let me tell you this – IT IS NOT FUN. I watch what I put my partner through everyday. And it’s not fair on him. I am on medication but you know what – while we are trying to get it right, it sucks!
Everyday I have to be so careful about what I say and what I do because it comes off as being rude, even when I’m trying my GODDAMN hardest to stop it. I’m not denial that I have a problem, but I’m also not sitting on my arse doing nothing about it.
Try watching yourself through a glass mirror, only you can’t do anything to stop what is happening. No matter how hard I try controlling my bipolar it is harder then you’re making it out out to be.
There is no consideration for what the people with bipolar go through. I hate waking up depressed and wanting to kill myself for no good reason. How do you explain that? The best I can say for me personally it’s a feeling of that everyone would be better off without me because I am useless and not worth anything it. As I’m writing this i am contemplating it, because even after seeing my psycharaist today, I am feeling worthless, like I don’t belong or fit in anywhere I go.
Right now I have only my best friend who I can turn to for advise and love. My partner thinks I’m insane and except the medication im on (has been up to 6x the original dosage in under 3months for one lot, and double for the other lot) will magically make me better over night. The people I work with don’t understand what I’m going through. They don’t understand the bipolar or that when I’m trying my hardest not to be rude or talk in a way that can be seen as such, it is me forcing myself to think very carefully about what I’m saying and about how I say it. Apparently where I work, because only my bosses are aware of my situation, people are thinking I’m taking drugs. Well yes….yes I am. It’s called medication legally prescribed to me from my psycharaist.
The problem with society, the minute someone is diagnosed as mentally ill, everyone takes a step back and doesn’t want to know you or help you, in my experience.
From my experience of the past 3 months nearly since I was diagnosed, I have never felt more lonely and alone in my life and even at work it is clear that I am isolated, ignored and made to feel like I shouldn’t be there.
I have been made to feel so bad about myself these past 3 months, that I am starting to wonder if I am just a shitty person in general. I hate making my partner feel like he has to tiptoe around me and I hate watching myself do it to him but controlling it, is harder then it looks.
I’m sorry but as much as bipolar people want to be understood they never seem to consider that the things they say and DO often without regret are what drives people away I had my best friend ruin my property and then when I got angry call the police on me! He lied to get them there and continued to lie to make himself look innocent I moved out I found out the hard way about bipolar people and the reactions they can have and the remorse they seem to lack it makes it hard to forgive but I have forgiven him I wrote him a letter said while I don’t want communication with him I forgive his lying and utter sociopathic contempt for our friendship so please please stop blaming everyone else but yourself! Stop not apologizing to your friends and family because your tired of apologizing if your truly trying we your support will Always back you protect you!! But that’s the thing you can’t even process that you resent us for trying to curb your behaviors but you want us to stick around even when you treat us like garbage bipolar people have graveyards full of friends and family that have real reasons why they don’t bother with them and always always it’s someone else’s fault
Hello Nawhahi. Thank you for your passionate response. I can tell you that you are describing more than bipolar disorder here. We do not have sociopathic behaviors unless we are only in a dysphoric manic episode. People with bipolar disorder can have graveyards full of friends, but I have found that there are often other underlying issues going on along with the bipolar disorder when this is a pattern in someone’s life. My work as a coach has taught me many things. The most important thing is that when somebody has consistent problems in life with relationships, it is rarely only bipolar disorder but is often a problem with family of origin, substance abuse or personality disorder symptoms. This is no excuse for our behavior. I write consistently about how someone with bipolar disorder absolutely must apologize for behaviors and get help. But please know that bipolar disorder is episodic. This means that when we are not in the mood swings are stable. Julie
A note from Julie on the comment below. Hello Chris. Thank you for your passionate post below. The problem is that you’re not describing the behavior of someone with bipolar disorder. You’re describing the behavior of someone with borderline personality disorder. It is possible to have borderline and bipolar. So if the person you’re talking about has mania AND the other behaviors you eloquently describe, this is bipolar disorder and borderline. I suggest http://www.bpdcentral.com for more information. Julie
(Here is Chris’ comment.)
I’m sorry for the struggles faced every day by our bipolar family members, friends, and other loved ones out there. I know it’s more than difficult, and I’m sure it’s not at all fun. I truly hope that you find long-term management solutions quickly and easily. As for the rest of us, however, I believe it’s also more than fair to say that if you discover you are, in fact, in a relationship with a bipolar person, then RUN. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Just run in the other direction. Save yourself. Run, run, run, run, run. Run to the hills; run to a cave; run to the jungle, run to the ocean, move to Antarctica, join the Peace Corps, do a stint in the Foreign Legion – I don’t care – just run, and don’t look back. I don’t give a damn if they were diagnosed long ago, are on a drug therapy/treatment regime that is closely and regularly monitored, and that they diligently take their medication. They WILL still “cycle”, and, more often than not, YOU as the SO, will be unwittingly standing right in front of the blast. Without a shield. You will bear the brunt of the rage, the frustration, the depression, the insecurity, the anxiety, the agitation, the pain, the past, the future, the universe and everything. You will be blamed. In the harshest and most hurtful terms. YOU will always be the selfish one; YOU will always be the bad one; YOU are the reason she can’t succeed professionally (never mind that she has royally pissed off everyone from the mailboy to the CEO). In short, YOU are the one to blame for everything – YOU are the one undermining your beloved’s talents, ambitions, and reputation, such that he can’t do anything but fail AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT because you must be actively “working against” him, because you “don’t support” him; because. . . . because, because, because. No one said it would make sense – it’s normally a ludicrous accusation, a delusional point of view, a claim without foundation or reason. It really doesn’t matter, because whatever it is, it will be YOUR fault. Don’t kid yourself – it will always be your fault. You are the bitch, the selfish bastard, the unfeeling cunt who makes life so, so miserable. It doesn’t matter what you have or have not done to trigger an episode, and it doesn’t matter how hard you try and make your BP SO happy and make the relationship work – YOU are, and always will be, to blame. Of course, it’s not limited to a 15 or 30 minute ugly “episode.” No, no. That would be way too easy. This berating about a complaint or a perceived slight can go on for hours, or even days. Some call it “spinning” – the same accusations, the same issues, the same berating, over and over and over again, It’s like Groundhog Day in Hell. And guess what? It will NEVER change. I promise you. Never. If you’re sitting at home and thinking to yourself “but he or she is just so wonderful when they’re “well”, or that soon the “right” medication will bring some calm to the killing storm, well, I hate to tell you, but it’s not going to happen. Not ever. There is no Happily Ever After if you stay with this person, there is only pain, guilt, anger, shame, and confusion. Don’t wait too long to walk out that door. If you try to leave, chances are, your SO (being the controlling, manipulative, and coercive person he is) will beg, cry, and plead for you not to leave. They may even physically try to stop you – if you can do so safely, leave anyway and while you still can. The bipolar wil beg for forgiveness – but, if you listen carefully (or just hear it often enough), you’ll begin to notice that their apology for hurting you; for saying such terrible things, for telling you that you should be dead; for telling you that no one cares about you; for demeaning you; for ignoring you; for calling you names, for berating you for your “inexplicable” lack of self esteem or for questioning their love for you and/or the stability of your relationship, or for telling you to get out of the car, thereby stranding you on the freeway (and if you’re thinking to yourself, “well, hell, I just wouldn’t have gotten out of the car”, yes, you would have – you really and truly do not understand just how bad and awful this kind of experience can be) well, it’s not really an apology at all. Rather, it’s a thinly veiled demand for your tolerance – their behavior, what they said or did to you – wasn’t their fault at all. It was the disease talking, they say. The apology is never a straight-up, “I’m so sorry I was a total dick”. The narrative is more frequently something akin to their regret that you’re unhappy, but it’s not their fault, and if you could just be more understanding, this kind of abusive (because that’s what it is) behavior wouldn’t be triggered.. So, even in the apology, it’s never their fault; it’s always someone or something else – usually, you. You are expected to have compassion for this awful disease and “work through it” with the person you love – not by helping them to better manage and control the disease and consequent outrageous behavior or by holding them accountable for what they say and do, but by putting up with it. I’m sorry, but it really isn’t going to change, and, unfortunately, the person you fell in love with is dead, or perhaps never even existed. You were suckered by the “seduction phase”. Don’t feel badly. This other person has spent years, even decades, perfecting this technique, and most of us are vulnerable to it. When the seduction phase ends (give it, say, 6 months to a year), the charm, humor, and thoughtfulness that you so loved is largely gone, and the verbal brutality and emotional belittling begins. Again, don’t feel badly if you were blind-sided by it, forgave it over and over again, put up with it, etc. – you were gaslighted. When that apology comes, and it likely will, take note – it’s not really an apology at all; it’s a statement of self-pity and a demand, spoken or unspoken, for YOU to understand and tolerate because they “can’t control it”. Guess what? Yes. They can. Have you noticed that they don’t speak to or treat everyone else in their life this way? Sure, they may have genuine difficulties maintaining a job or progressing in a career, for example, because, every now and then, “Mr. Hyde” makes a cameo appearance (and even if you weren’t there or know nothing about it, more likely than not, it’s still your fault). Another fun fact: statistically, your beloved BP SO willl also cheat on you – more than once. Yes, I know the cheating statistics for marriages and relationships in general, and they’re depressingly high, but if the individual is BP, ratchet those stats way up. When you confront them, they either tell you why their cheating is actually your fault (you don’t give me all I need; you’re not enough; you don’t understand, you don’t love me enough; you’re too distant – something; anything to shift the blame to you), or they’ll just lie. You may notice that they lie a lot. Over and over and over again. Even when you’ve caught them “in the act”, they will lie )think of the old joke about woman whe walks into her bedroom, only to find her husband with another woman: “Baby, who you gonna believe? Me or your lyin’ eyes?”). They will lie about anything and everything, They will lie even when they don’t need to lie; when the truth would have been completely acceptable. For all you BPs out there, I really am sorry for your illness, and I KNOW there are genuine and wonderful examples of many, many BP individuals who successfully maintain healthy, stable, supportive, and loving relationships. God speed to you, truly, but you are but a small minority. Very small. For the rest of us, trying to cope with someone who has a less controlled or disciplined BP disease (even on a tightly.controlled, closely monitored, and diligently obeyed medical regime): unless you know what you’re heading into – unless you know the depth and breadth of the name calling that is likely going to be directed at you, the extent to which this person will go to hurt you (for example, using against you highly personal events of your past that you previously shared in what you believed was a trusted and safe environment) the lying, the cheating, the feeling of always “walking on egg shells” so as to not “set him off” – then you need to run away as fast and as soon as you can. The damage to your own psyche can be almost overweening and require years to overcome. You may love this person, but you need to also love yourself. Leave. Forever. Remember, the longer you stay, the harder it will be to leave – the more time you’re with this toxic person, the more she will work to isolate you from your friends and family, erode your sense of self, cause you to question yourself and your perceptions of reality, and, frankly, scare the hell out of you about what she might do if you leave, You love this person. I get it. I really, really do, but you need to love yourself, and protect yourself, more. In my case, we’ve been apart for more than a year. I still receive almost daily commmunication – some of it friendly, but more of it is coercive, passively-aggressively hateful and snide, undermining, and just plain damn mean. So, even after you’ve left, you may find yourself still warding-off all of the hurtful and hateful behavior that caused you to leave in the first place – at least this time, hopefully, it’s from a distance. In my case, the distance of “all the way across town” is not enough. I’m sincerely and seriously beginning to think that leaving the country is the only solution. Please, take my advice. LEAVE. NOW. Finally, to the BP individuals above who complained that the original author (1) had a shallow and incomplete understanding of BP disease and that the rest of us simply fail to appreciate their difficulties and pain, and (2) has not posted his comments, well, both of you, in minor ways, to be sure, are providing very small examples of exactly what I’m talking about. The author of this blog wrote a thoughtful, respectful post. You both took issue with certain points of that post, and that is perfectly fine and acceptable. Healthy debate is laudable. However, you didn’t just respond to the author with a polite post, respectfully noting the items with which you took issue, while setting forth your own rational, reasonable case. Rather, you belittled the author – labeling her post as “shallow.” The other individual did not submit a polite inquiry regarding the status of his comments. Instead, he accused the author of being “afraid” to post his comments and that she should “lose the labels” and “look into it.” Seriously? Again, the BP doesn’t consider that the author may have been busy or otherwise unavailable or unable to post or reply, or that maybe, just maybe, she simply didn’t feel like posting the comments (given the polite and respectful nature of her replies, I doubt this is the case, but, if it were, it’s something that is completely within her purview). Instead, he bullies her; he lashes out, tells her that she’s not responding in the way he wants because she’s afraid of……. what, exactly? And why? Who knows? If you happen to be BP, please know that I’m well aware that the above does NOT apply to a large number of you. You’ve achieved successful lives, maintained healthy and loving relationships, and raised wonderful families, notwithstanding the challenges that a serious illness imposes (I have one myself). I have nothing but respect and admiration for your accomplishments and the challenges you must have overcome to be where you are now. I just wish there were more of you.
Hello Chris. Thank you for your passionate post. The problem is that you’re not describing the behavior of someone with bipolar disorder. You’re describing the behavior of someone with borderline personality disorder. It is possible to have borderline and bipolar. So if the person you’re talking about has mania AND the other behaviors you eloquently describe, this is bipolar disorder and borderline. I suggest http://www.bpdcentral.com for more information. Julie
Hello, Julie. Thank you for your response. Yes, I am familiar with the borderline personality issue, and I agree that an individual can be wrongly diagnosed as a bipolar, rather than a borderline, or that one may simultaneously have both a bipolar disorder and a borderline personality disorder. I think the two operating together under a single diagnosis of “bipolar” is probably more common than most of us realize. My only point is, regardless of what label is given, or what medical model is applied, the kind of behavior I’ve described is extremely common among those diagnosed as bipolar. As a critical part of my profession, I have listened to and read the histories and stories of, literally, hundreds of individuals diagnosed with a bipolar disorder, and, as heartbreaking as it is, what I’ve said about the behavior displayed by many (but certainly not all)individuals with that diagnosis, whether the diagnosis is incomplete or inaccurate, is not at all atypical. So common, in fact, that I do not believe all of the badly behaved individuals labeled as bipolar are incorrectly or incompletely diagnosed. Statistically, it’s remarkably unlikely. Perhaps I’m incorrect, and perhaps the medical community will one day have a forehead smacking moment – “holy shit! We’ve been wrong the whole time!”. At the end of the day, however, and from the perspective of the non-BP partner,I’m not sure it really matters what the correct diagnosis may ultimately prove to be because unless and until there is a reliable medical differentiation that allows for a thoroughly correct diagnosis and treatment protocol, it remains the sad, even tragic fact that an individual diagnosed with bipolar disorder is at very high risk for exhibiting the kinds maladjusted and abusive behaviors that I’ve described. For now, at least, a diagnosis of bipolar disorder is, or should be, a huge red flag for the rest of us to tread very, very carefully and cautiously. It is a big red flashing and screeching siren telling you that, regardless of how much you may love this person, a relationship with them is a questionable (at best) proposition, and if you bet wrong, you are in for a world of hurt. A universe of hurt. Before diving into a friendship or something more intimate, don’t wade too deeply into those unfamiliar waters – the undertow is sheer hell. Please do not misunderstand me. I know these individuals, be they BP or borderline, suffer tremendously. They regularly lose jobs, friends, family members, partners,and others. They suffer, no doubt at all, and it is absolutely heartbreaking to watch someone you love morph into……well, a total stranger whom you wouldn’t let in the front gate, much less into your home and soul. Yes, they absolutely suffer, but so do the rest of us. A lot. Every damn day. One need only needs a simple Google search to find the MANY support groups for this issue, and the hundreds and hundreds of anecdotal postings that describe exactly, perfectly, and flawlessly what I’m saying. Better yet, look at support groups in your own community. It may be that these behaviors are all wrongly attributed to bipolarism. Nonetheless,until we have a better understanding and depth of knowledge about what’s happening inside the human brain, a diagnosis of bipolar disorder should cause others to approach very slowly and carefully, and at the first sign of the kind of behavior I describe, then, as I said, run. Run as fast and as far as your little legs will carry you, because, I promise, that’s only the beginning and it will not stop. Not. Ever.
Hi Chris. I still believe there is more going on than bipolar disorder in what you describe. Bipolar disorder is always episodic. This means that a person who ONLY has bipolar disorder without the complications of substance abuse, childhood trauma or an underlying personality disorder will usually be stable when not in an episode.There is the ability to have a reasonable conversation and create a management plan.
Another problem you are describing is LACK OF INSIGHT. That is a terrible situation for the partner and other loved ones. When a person can’t see they are ill, it’s a nightmare for all of us. I had to teach myself insight. My book Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner was written to help partners know when to stay and when to go. Please know I am NOT discounting what you say. I’m simply saying that it doesn’t apply to all of us with the illness.
I am a person with bipolar disorder, a psychotic disorder and anxiety. I hope that people don’t run when they meet me, especially any guy I would like to date. 🙂
Maybe we can add something to what you are writing. I believe you are also talking about unmanaged bipolar disorder. That is DISASTROUS! I agree with you. I also run from people with unmanaged mental health symptoms. They are triggers for me.
These illnesses have to be managed.
But when bipolar disorder is managed, no one has to run from us.
Julie