I used to have a lot of drama in my life. Much of it was due to my own choices, some of it was due to bipolar disorder causing me to make stupid choices, such as when I get manic.
I have changed completely in the past few years. I’m no longer willing to make decisions and then just hope they turn out ok.
I get too sick when I do this. I have goals in life that I want to reach- speaking to large groups on mental health, reducing the suicide rate in this country, financial stability, physical health- big stuff for sure!
The only way I can accomplish my goals is to examine every potential decision for disaster (drama!) from sending an email telling someone they are ignoring me to saying yes to a request. I’ve learned to ask myself the following questions before I do ANYTHING:
Will it make me sick? Has it made me sick in the past? Am I manic? How will my decision make me feel tomorrow, next week and into the future?
(Of course, I don’t always remember to do this. I still make mistakes and take on projects that aren’t right for me and I still make poor decisions regarding my physical health, but it’s always a learning curve. )
I also have a lot of people in my life who will ask the questions for me and really make me mad! But I need their judgment in case I’m making a decision when I’m sick.
This is a constant exercise- I’ve learned to slow down a bit. I’m at over 75% success right now in my decision making. Considering that I used to do everything blindly, this is pretty good! (I made a guess on the 75%. HEHE)
I have almost no drama in my life these days.
Julie
You are so right about needing other people to ask these important questions of you at times when they can see you may not be thinking clearly! I have been so blessed to have family that put these safe guards around me as I dealt with adolescent onset BP1! I also believe, as it is the case in my life, that in a marriage with a bipolar person; it is extremely beneficial to have a mentally well spouse to look out for and give tough love to their husband or wife (or significant other)! It is also great if that non-Bipolar spouse has experienced comparably difficult life circumstances, in order to truest have a unconditionally tender & compassionate heart! My husband is that wonderful man to me! Love and best wishes to all you fellow overcomers of mine! May you soar on wings like eagles without being overcome by the terrors of mania or the crushing weight of depression! LOVE and PEACE and JOY!
I am so glad to hear the drama can be controllable. I am the mom of a daughter who was just diagnosed with bp. I am really beginning to understand “one day at a time”!
Hello Charlene, it can be managed. I’m 50 and went through many terrible years. I’m much more stable now that I have a management plan. I have a free 30 minute intake for my parent coaching if you would like to talk. http://www.juliefast.com/family-coaching/ I like to do intakes even if I don’t actually work with a person- it helps to hear that your child is going to be ok! Julie
Its gotta be hard for you Julie. I hope it gets better. My wife has similar issue and at times, I feel like I will lose my mind.
It is hard- but the alternative is worse Nick. I wish I had more time to help people- I wish I didn’t have to deal with bipolar disorder and could just get on with life- but….. this is my reality. I can say I have a VERY good life now. It is modified due to my bipolar disorder, but it’s a good life because I’m self aware. I know you’re wife can learn to do this as well- she has you to help her! Julie
Hi Julie. I know I need people around me but it is hard. Mostly I just have my grown (?) kids around me so they always question everything I do and I get so tired of it. I’m thankful but still it’s so annoying to be regarded as “crazy” and unstable. Sounds funny because I am a little odd. It’s hard because I already consider every word and thought I have to discern if it’s “okay”. I’m exhausted and it’s easier to just be alone. I get lonely but people are exhausting. Many of my friends are too hard to be around and try to manage myself and them too.