I have a many names for the myriad types of depression I experience.
For 10 years, I had ‘stunned depression’ off and on. This type of depression is especially hard because it makes movement difficult. This rotten mood swing makes me sit on the side of the bed with my hands in my head like I’m in a daze. It’s harder to think. I have all of the normal upsetting depression thoughts- that is bad enough- I just can’t beleive how it stuns me. Like a sucker punch. Technically, it’s catatonic depression… it still feels like I’ve been hit from behind.
I could go on and on. Living with this for so long wore me down.
Here is a journal entry from 2011:
I have to get out of the house and did everything I could to feel better. I watched football, played with my mom’s new puppy, saw my nephew and am now going to meet a friend. I have to deal with immobility as a normal person would- if they had a broken leg. I can’t let the depression take hold- I wrote Get it Done When You’re Depressed for this stunned depression. I often think of the table of contents and use what I can. I can use Think Like an Athlete- I’m always amazed at how athletes keep going even when they’re sick. I can do it too. No matter how depressed I am. Come on Julie. Move no matter how immobile you feel.
I am going to be like an athlete. I will not let depression stun me all day!
**
Skip to 2013. I’m better. It’s so interesting to read my journals. I was so sick for so long. I got better last year when I found a better combination of medications. I write about this alot on my Facebook page. I use the plan in my books and work hard to stay on the medications despite the side effects.
Ten straight years of depression- and I was better in less than two months when I tried the meds. I still get depressed, but it’s rare. This is possible for you – this is possible for someone you care about. Never stop until you find relief from depression!
Julie
Has anyone has a GENECEPT ASSAY TEST done??? I did and truly wish I never got it done one of the worse test to get done especially if you have BIPOLAR like myself and anxiety and depression now I am a worried nonstop afraid I will loose my SSD because of this TEST Im scared out of mine like you would not believe its killing me all I know is my doctor said to me well your levels our very low and said we will talk about this at your next about alright well I want so bad to say well DUH my thryoid has been messed up for last two years and no one has done anything and I have had rapid hear beat and high blood pressure and no one has done anything about that either so I feel lost at this time I feel truly like Im getting screwed and then I requested for my medical records just so I could look at them and I was reviewing them and one visit he will list me with Generalized anxiety disorder and posttraumatic stress disorder, paranoid type schizophrenia, unspecified state, borderline personality disorder, then it will change to where on my paperwork it wont have the bipolar listed and its less then a 3 week visit but I do see a other doctor in the office very week who in his notes has put that my condition is not improving and is worse and tearful and angry and that medication does not seem to be working so Im very scared all my life I have been this way it all started at the age of 12 and has never changed been push to the side in life Im a nervous wreck all over a test and all over a big 437.00 dollars a month I get please I need some advised you guys thanks for reading this sorry if its hard to read Im crying when i write this and truly am not good at writing thank you