It’s really, really tough to have bipolar depression. When I get down and feel that I will never get better, I constantly remind myself of the following:
1. Depression is a symptom of bipolar disorder. There is no way that life is as awful as depression makes it seem.
2. The more I know about how I am when I’m not depressed, the more I can recognize depression for what it is.
3. It’s never a good idea to make big changes when you’re depressed. It’s ok to think about them and write them down, but it’s so important to wait until you’re better to change your life. (My book Bipolar Happens! talks about this. I used to just pick up and move when the mood swings were raging!)
4. Depression tells you that no one loves you. If this feeling only comes up when you’re depressed, it’s not real. Don’t act on it. Wait for the depression to get better and then evaluate your relationships.
5. Depression can get better. It takes a plan and medications for most of us, but change is possible.
Oh wow, it’s hard to keep life in perspective when you’re depressed. My entire life is about keeping perspective during mood swings and preventing mood swings in every way I can.
Can you tell that today is a tough day? I will keep going- use the ideas in my books and make sure the depression is better by tonight. You can do the same. I promise! Julie
Thank you so much for this post, Julie, and for “Get It Done When You’re Depressed.” Little by little, I’m making progress.
Hugs to you…I hope your day did indeed get better after you posted the above. Thanks for making mine a little better today! 🙂
Thank you, Julie for your books and blogs. They’ve made a big difference in how I manage my BP II.
A tool I use frequently is when I’m feeling depressed and become aware of negative thoughts is to remind myself that the commentary in my mind is just a story and not the truth. Then, and this is key, I put my attention on the depression as A FEELING IN MY BODY. I don’t try to resist it. I just feel into it without mental commentary. (like, “I hate this”. “I wish I wasn’t depressed”). Before I know it the extreme negativity has passed and the depression lifts a bit. If I try to resist the thoughts and fight the feeling, it only grows stronger.
I hope this tool can help someone. Thanks again, Julie.
Rick
My husband was diagnosed with Bipolar II 3 years ago. This past year has been the worst as far as his mood swings – the period of depression is lasting 4-6 weeks at a time. We have gone to couples counseling but stopped when our counselor retired. My husband sees a therapist as do I separately. It has been very hard finding a therapist who understands the bipolar behavior and how it effects myself and our sons. My therapist has even suggested that I research the laws concerning seperation and divorce. This was a total shock as I am not at that point yet. I have read your books and have a better understanding of the illness. My husband is reading them as well when he is not ill. I do see a little improvement.
The issue I have is the long periods of depression and the constant negativity that comes out of his mouth and the effect it is having on myself and our 2 teenage boys. He is angry at everyone. He insists that the doctors and therapists are not doing any good and has threatened to discontinue his appointments. I have tried everything that I can think of to help him get thru the depressive episodes however this one that he is in right now is beyond me. He is very angry, blaming myself, the boys and everyone around him for not understanding and causing issues. He has been able to work but comes home and falls asleep within an hour on walking in the door. He has not been able to make lasting friendships therefore he does not have anyone to turn to for support other than myself. It has become very difficult to live with him and I am totally worn out. What does a spouse do when the person who is ill is unwilling to get help? Where do I find the support systems? We live in a rural state and the city we live in only has one support group for family’s dealing with metal illnesses once a month.
I am trying to hold our marriage (we will be married 20 years this week)and the family together but not sure what to do now.