There are many kinds of depression. (There are also many kinds of mania!) I categorize my depression in two ways: negative or weepy. This is pretty simple. I often get mad, irritated, anxious and worried when I get depressed, but more often I get weepy. Of course there are other types of depression, silent depression for example where a person just stays in bed all day. But today I’m experiencing weepy depression and I hate it sdo much.
Bipolar is chemical- so it’s natural it would also control our physical actions in certain ways. If I get depressed and can’t stop crying, it’s just the kind of depression I’m experiencing. I have friends with bipolar who never cry. They just get angry! And sometimes mean!! I can be like that as well, though I don’t take it out on others like I used to. My challenge these days is to not take it out on myself.
Bipolar is a complicated illness. It’s important to remember that it is an illness. If you find yourself in a stressful situation, make sure you separate your bipolar reaction from your ‘real self’ reaction. That is how you can keep from making rash decisions that will make you really upset when the mood swing stops! Right now, I am in Michigan visiting my dad. It’s a new environment and I’m having a tough time simply becuase I’m depressed. Nothing else is wrong. I know this because on the days I’m not depressed, I don’t cry a waterfall of tears. That’s just depression!
If you are in a new situation right now and are having a tough time, it helps to write down what is happening so that you can distinguish between the bipolar you and the non bipolar you. This is how the Health Cards work. I’ve used them for 15 years, but I still have to watch myself for symptoms! My goal is a happy and stable life. It’s a daily goal! julie
Not reacting until I separate out my real feelings from the bipolar feelings has been a real challenge for me as well. A few years ago I finally made a rule that I couldn’t approach someone who upset me for at least a few days so I could make sure that I was actually upset with them and not just in a swing. It has helped so much to be able to be calm and relatively rational in solving the problem instead of just reacting.
Of course, some people are thrown off by the delay, but ultimately it has been a positive change.